


Boy Meets Evil

by iwasoncefearless



Category: Monsta X (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Abuse, Anxiety, Cute Kim Namjoon | Rap Monster, Depression, Friends to Lovers, Kim Taehyung | V & Min Yoongi | Suga Are Best Friends, Kim Taehyung | V Is a Sweetheart, M/M, Min Yoongi is a hoe, Min Yoongi | Suga Is a Little Shit, Min Yoongi | Suga Is a Tease, Panic Attacks, Park Jimin Is a Sweetheart, Self-Harm, Smitten Jeon Jungkook, Strangers to Lovers, Suicide Attempt, Yoongi loves everyone, everyone loves everyone, lots of smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-02-28 14:59:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 46,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13273896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwasoncefearless/pseuds/iwasoncefearless
Summary: Min Yoongi doesn't know who he is without his trauma. He was physically and verbally abused, and he always carried that pain around with him. He always had that distrust for people, that hatred bottled up inside of him. But Yoongi meets some people who help him let go of all his pain, and show him that life is worth living.





	1. Pain, Without Love

Min Yoongi didn’t know who he was without his trauma. He’d never got to experience a part of his life where he wasn’t constantly anxious and depressed. He never knew how to feel calm and not be paranoid about simple things, he never knew how to be happy. 

He lived through a physically abusive dad, a mentally abusive ex that he couldn’t seem to shake, and even leaving home at age 18 and living on his own. If you asked him, the hardest part to let go of was his ex-girlfriend. He loved her deeply and always forgave her for things he shouldn’t have. Her cheating, her lies, her sneaking around, her blaming him for things that just weren’t his fault – but he loved her, and so he dealt with it.

Whenever he came home, his face bloody and bruised from his dad, she simply told him, “it’s probably your own fault”. It crushed his heart to hear that, but he let it go, thinking deep down that it probably was his fault.

Whenever she shoved his against a wall and yelled at him because she was the one to fuck another guy, he dealt with it. He always thought maybe he just hadn’t been enough for her and he’d try harder.

Whenever he harmed himself and she’d see fresh scars, she’d call him an idiot, only making the situation and himself worse.

She wasn’t always like this, though. She once was a sweet and passionate person towards her boyfriend. She’d come over every night after Min Yoongi got off work and made him dinner and tucked him in afterwards, taking good care of him. However, she started hanging out with the wrong people, and getting into the wrong kinds of things, and she’d never been the same since. She’d even gotten physically abusive at some points in their relationship.

Min Yoongi would also sometimes infuriate his father on purpose, knowing that he’d hit him. He thought that it was somehow better that way than harming himself. He never fought his father back, he’d just continue letting him punch him, occasionally spitting blood to the side.

At 18, his father had finally kicked him out, his mom not saying a word. He’d never been back to their house since. 

The flashbacks of his past and the hurtful memories coming back to him is what led Min Yoongi to stand in front of his bathroom mirror, crying to himself and downing a bottle of pills.  
He wiped his tears with the sleeve of his sweatshirt and took a good look at himself in the mirror. He hated every detail. His eyes, his round cheeks, even the way his hair fell, it all irritated him, and he couldn’t stand it. He just wanted a way out of his shitty life.

With his vision starting to blur, he made one final decision, and that was to say goodbye to his ex-girlfriend. He knew she wouldn’t care, he just wanted to see her face one last time.

The wind and air were cold on his face, his sweater and jeans not being nearly enough, but he didn’t seem to care much. He’d be dead soon, anyways.

He walked slow and off balance, the pills in his system taking its toll on him. He could feel his body shutting down, and everything started hurting. He persevered forward, wanting to say goodbye to the only person he’d ever loved. The wind blew his hair around and he began to shiver. He stopped for a second, he legs feeling like they couldn’t take anymore. He began seeing double and before he knew what was happening, he fell to the ground.

When he woke up, he was lying on his back and being shook. Immediately he turned to his side and began vomiting violently. If the person who was shaking him had said anything, he hadn’t paid attention. His stomach felt like it was ripping itself apart, and he couldn’t even look at the person due to how much he was throwing up.

Min Yoongi could hear the person yelling for him but he couldn’t understand what they were saying. It sounded far away, almost like they were yelling through a tunnel. He pressed his palm to the side of his head, feeling blood and a lot of pain.

The person yelling for him stood up, grabbing Min Yoongi and putting him into a car parked on the side of the road. He laid him in the back seat on his side and quickly put a blanket over him due to the cold outside.

Min Yoongi didn’t protest. After all, he could barely walk on his own right now and everything was spinning.

The driver got in and sped off. The person kept looking in the back, keeping an eye on Min Yoongi, and he finally looked up at the stranger who was helping him. It was a guy, probably the same age as him, and he had dark hair that flowed in front of his face and a few distinctive beauty marks lining his face and neck. He looked worried and frantic, and Yoongi couldn’t quite figure out why this stranger was helping him.

“If you need to puke, it’s fine. I won’t mind,” the guy said, his voice shaking slightly.

And almost like clockwork, another wave of nausea hit, and Min Yoongi began puking in the back seat. He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his sweatshirt and looked up at the driver, who looked at him in return through the mirror.

“Sorry,” Yoongi whispered.

“It’s fine, I’ll clean it,” the driver answered. He gripped the steering wheel harder and bit his lip, unsure of how to say what he was thinking. Hesitantly, he asked, “did you overdose?”

Min Yoongi didn’t answer, he simply nodded, and the driver understood. After dry heaving for a few minutes and throwing up once again, he asked, “where are we going?”

“The store. We need to get those pills out of your system, and charcoal tablets will absorb them.”

Min Yoongi didn’t want to get the pills out of his system, he wanted to let them shut down his organs and let them kill him, however, the intense pain and cramps in his stomach told another story. The pain was getting to be too much, and he closed his eyes.

“No, no, no,” the driver said. He turned around, shaking Yoongi’s leg. “You can’t sleep, stay up. We’re almost there.”

Min Yoongi grunted, the pain almost unbearable. His nausea was coming back, and he started throwing up blood. He used his hand to try to cover his mouth, but all he did was get blood on his mouth and hand.

The driver pulled into the parking lot and immediately got out of the car and went into the back seat. “Oh shit,” he whispered. His hand was shaking as he grabbed the blanket, wiping away the blood on Yoongi’s hands and mouth. He helped Yoongi sit up and looked into his eyes. “Please, stay awake. I’ll be right back.”

Min Yoongi’s eyes were fluttering closed, but he tried hard to keep them open. He grunted, but nodded in response. With that, the driver shot off into the store, running as fast as he could.

Not even 2 minutes later, he was back with a bag full of stuff. He quickly pulled out a bottle of water and charcoal pills.

“Take 5 of those, each with water,” the guy demanded.

Min Yoongi didn’t argue. He took them one by one with water, just like he was told. The guy pulled out a wet wipe and cleaned the dried blood off Yoongi’s mouth and hands. He laid his head back but kept his eyes on the boy in front of him, watching him. He was too worn out to do anything else. He watched as the guy cleaned some blood and vomit off his shirt, and was embarrassed that anyone had to see him in this condition.

The boy didn’t seem to mind that Yoongi was watching him, he just continued to clean up and take care of him.

“Why are you helping me?” Yoongi asked quietly.

“I wasn’t quite sure why you were on the ground in the cold like that. I pulled over, thinking maybe you just passed out, or maybe you were a little hurt. Once I started shaking you and you weren’t moving or waking up, I knew something was really wrong. You were barely breathing. I couldn’t leave.”

“You should have left me,” Yoongi said, slight anger in his voice.

The boy stopped cleaning for a second, his body stilling. His eyes looked up at Yoongi’s, and the second they met, his heart felt like it shattered. “I don’t regret saving you.”

“It’s not about regret. It’s about letting someone who wanted to die, die.”

“Why did you try to kill yourself?” The boy asked.

“I’ve had a really shitty life for a long time and a past that’s never going to go away. I don’t want to deal with it anymore.” A tear fell down Yoongi’s cheek and he closed his eyes, hoping the guy in front of him hadn’t noticed.

The guy took his thumb and wiped away Yoongi’s tear. “Start a new life.”

Yoongi’s eyes opened, and a few more tears rolled down his cheeks. “You can’t just start a new life.”

The boy wiped away the rest of his tears and shrugged. “Sure you can. Do you have any family or friends around?”

Yoongi shook his head.

“Then you don’t have anything to lose. Leave your past behind you, and start something new.”

Before Yoongi could respond, he was buckled in and the boy was back in the driver’s seat, throwing the bag into the passenger’s seat and starting the car back up.

“What’s your name?” Min Yoongi asked.

The boy smiled as he pulled out of the parking lot. “Jungkook. What’s yours?”

“Min Yoongi,” he said, thinking that Jungkooks smile was nice and comforting.


	2. This Is Me, Sorry You Had To See

The car ride back was silent. Jungkook was taking Min Yoongi back to his apartment so he could rest and get cleaned up, Min Yoongi didn't argue. He really wanted a change of clothes and a nap.  
  
Jungkook pulled into the driveway to his apartment complex. He quickly got out and opened the door to the back where Min Yoongi was sitting. He held out his hand to help, and Yoongi accepted. He climbed out of the car and stood up, nearly falling over. Jungkook caught him and gave him a reassuring smile. "It's okay, I'll help you."  
  
Min Yoongi didn't like getting help, but he accepted it this time. He was so weak and still felt so sick, and Jungkook was being so nice to him.  
  
He swayed back and forth as he walked slowly, Jungkook holding onto him, balancing him. Once they were inside the building, Yoongi placed his hand on the wall to help steady him.  
  
When they reached the stairs, Jungkook looked at Yoongi. "Can you make it?"  
  
Being stubburn, he nodded. Yoongi took a couple steps up and started falling down, Jungkook catching him.  
  
"Alright, so that's not going to work," Jungkook said. He crouched down in front of Yoongi. "Get on my back."  
  
"I'm not doing that," Yoongi stated.  
  
"You want to get up these stairs or not?" Jungkook retorted.  
  
Min Yoongi rolled his eyes, but climbed onto the dark haired boys back and held on.  
  
Jungkook walked up the stairs with ease, and Yoongi blushed out of embaressment. He wasn't sure if he had let himself go so much that he practically weighed nothing, or Jungkook was just stronger than he was.  
  
Jungkook continued carrying Yoongi until they had reached inside his apartment. He let Yoongi down on the bed, and the blonde had never been more thankful to finally lay back down.  
  
Jungkook threw his car keys on the nightstand and disappeared for a moment, leaving Yoongi alone.  
  
The blonde laid on his back, kicking off his shoes and closing his eyes. When he heard footsteps approaching, he opened his eyes back up.  
  
Jungkook sat down on the bed beside him, holding a new pair of clothes, the bag from the car, a first aid kit, and a bucket.  
  
Min Yoongi winced at the thought of even moving.  
  
Jungkook pulled out some cotton balls and alcohol from the first aid kit, dabbing it gently onto the cut on Yoongi's head from falling.  
  
The blonde bit his lip in pain.  
  
"Sorry, I know it hurts," Jungkook said. "How's your stomach?" He asked, attempting to distract him from the pain.  
  
"Still hurts and still might throw up, but the charcoal definitely absorbed some of it," Yoongi whispered, closing his eyes.  
  
"Good. I got some stuff that will help your stomach pain. It's a cream, I didn't want to put anymore pills in your body."  
  
Yoongi opened his eyes and smiled. It felt like so much more effort than he could put in right now, but Jungkook was being so sweet, he couldn't help it.  
  
Jungkook seen Yoongi smile, and he smiled back. "That's the first time I've seen you smile today."  
  
"Yeah, well, we kind of met under bad circumstances," Yoongi told him.  
  
Jungkook just nodded as he placed a bandage over the cut on Yoongi's head.  
  
Yoongi cocked his head to the side and looked over Jungkook. _I'd kill to look like that_ , he thought. And maybe it wasn't so much about him wanting to look like that, as it was about him thinking the brunette was fairly attractive.  
  
Jungkook noticed Yoongi staring but didn't say anything about it. In fact, he didn't really mind.  
  
"This might sound strange, but can you help me change? It really hurts to move," Yoongi whispered. There was no intent behind his words, he was just simply too weak to move on his own at this point.  
  
Jungkook nodded hesitantly. He wondered for a second if liking guys would make the situation weird or uncomfortable, but he decided to keep the information to himself for now. He leaned over Yoongi and gently pulled off his shirt, careful not to move the blonde too much.  
  
Yoongi looked away from Jungkook, fearing his reaction to what he would see. He didn't think he had a nice body and he had many scars littering his skin, he was so insecure about all of it.  
  
Jungkook gasped quietly. There were so many scars on Yoongi's arms and shoulders, some new, some old, and some from his father that weren't intentional. He obviously knew Yoongi was very depressed, he just wasn't expecting to see scars.  
  
Jungkook carefully took his thumb and ran it over Yoongi's cuts. The blonde gasped, not expecting the sudden touch. Jungkook could immediantly tell the difference between which were intentional and which were not, causing him to wonder what troubles the poor blonde had to endure.  
  
"It's okay," the brunette whispered, causing the blonde to look back at him. He gave Yoongi a soft, reassuring smile. "I won't hurt you."  
  
Yoongi's eyes began to tear up and he quickly blinked them away. He'd never had someone that fully accepted him, flaws and all. He knew Jungkook could tell some of his scars weren't intentional, maybe that's why he was being so gentle.  
  
Jungkook grabbed the clean sweatshirt and pulled it over Yoongi's head, tucking his arms through the holes but leaving his abdomen exposed. He took a second to admire Yoongi's toned, flat stomach. He hoped that Yoongi hadn't noticed his staring, and quickly grabbed the cream from inside the bag.  
  
"This will be cold, sorry," Jungkook apologized. He placed some cream on Yoongi's stomach and rubbed it in.  
  
Yoongi flinched at the cold, but Jungkooks warm hands quickly made up for it. They were so caring and gentle, Yoongi couldn't help but close his eyes, the comfort and warmth of knowing Jungkook would take care of him setting in. He couldn't help himself as he drifted off into a light sleep.  
  
Jungkook hadn't noticed the blonde fell asleep until he pulled the rest of his sweatshirt down. He placed the bucket beside Yoongi on the floor and got up to grab a blanket, placing it over him and tucking him in. He went into the kitchen and grabbed him a glass of water, setting it on the nightstand.  
  
Jungkook couldn't help but look over the blonde in his bed. He looked so little, so fragile. He couldn't believe that just an hour ago, Yoongi was nearly dead. It hurt him to think that someone could have treated him so wrongly that he'd want to end his life.  
  
Jungkook sighed and sat on the couch, working on some papers he needed to do. He could see Yoongi from where he was sitting, and he constantly looked over to check on him, almost paranoid that he wouldn't wake up.  
  
Occasionally the blonde would turn over and throw up into the bucket, Jungkook running to his side and cleaning him up, then Yoongi would fall right back asleep.  
  
After about the 3rd time throwing up, when Jungkook was done cleaning him up, Yoongi grabbed his arm and pulled him into the bed. This time, Yoongi didn't go right back to sleep. His eyes were barely opened, but he looked at the brunette, now laying beside him. "Thank you for saving me," he whispered.  
  
Jungkook smiled at the blonde beside him. "You don't need to thank me."  
  
"I'm just glad I met you, even under these circumstances," Yoongi mumbled, closing his eyes once again. He tucked his head into Jungkooks chest, and the brunette played with Yoongi's hair until he fell back asleep. This time, he stayed instead of finishing his papers.  



	3. Reunited

Jungkook woke up to the sound of his front door opening, figuring his friends must have let themselves in again. He rubbed his eyes, unaware that he'd fallen asleep next to Yoongi.

Namjoon made a noise of excitement seeing Jungkook in bed with someone. "Boy," he yelled. "Did you get laid last night?"

Taehyung laughed at his friends boldness.

Jungkook cocked a smile and slowly stood up, careful not wake Yoongi. He ushered his friends into the kitchen to talk privately.

"No, Namjoon. I did not get laid. I don't even know if he's gay, but that's not my point. He's someone that I.." Jungkook trailed off, unsure how to word this, "helped out. Just be careful what you say around him, okay?"

"You just helped him out and now he's in your apartment sleeping in the same bed as you?" Namjoon questioned, a cocky smirk on his face.

He laughed at his friends stubbornness. "It was a really tough day for him. Just trust me, okay?"

Namjoon and Taehyung nodded.

Min Yoongi woke up feeling like he'd been drunk for the last week of his life. Everything that happened yesterday felt like a strange dream, but the clothes he was wearing and the vomit bucket on the floor beside him told him that it wasn't a dream. He rolled over on his side, clutching his stomach. It didn't hurt as bad as yesterday, but it still hurt.

"Jungkook?" Yoongi shouted.

"Wait here," he told his friends. He went back to Yoongi and sat on the bed beside him, a smile on his face. "Hey sunshine. How you feeling?”

"Like I got hit by a truck and I'm coming down from some weird trip," Yoongi said, rubbing his eyes.

Jungkook laughed lightly. "Are you hungry?"

"Starving," he said, sitting up.

"Alright, I'll make you some breakfast. But I wanted to let you know that my friends stopped by. Do you want to meet them?"

Yoongi looked at Jungkook nervously. Jungkook grabbed his hand and squeezed it for reassurance. "They're nice, I promise."

Yoongi took a deep breath and nodded. He wasn't one to meet new people and make new friends, his anxiety prevented most of that, but Jungkook was with him, and he trusted him.

Yoongi got up, this time able to walk on his own. It was a slow walk to the kitchen, but Jungkook was beside him if anything happened or he lost his balance.

When Yoongi turned the corner, he gasped. He instantly recognized one of the boys, someone he use to be best friends with.

Taehyungs friendly smile faded, and he stared at the blonde, almost as if he were a ghost.

Namjoon and Jungkook shared a look of confusion, but didn't say anything.

Yoongi hadn't seen Taehyung since high school. They were best friends, but Yoongi's depression started early. On his first psychiatric visit, he was gone for months. When he came back, Taehyung had moved. He didn't go to the same school anymore, and Yoongi hadn't seen or heard from him since.

"Y-Yoongi?" Taehyung asked shakily, slowly stepping towards the boy.

"Taehyung?" Yoongi said in disbelief.

Taehyung smiled brightly and ran forward, capturing Yoongi in a tight hug.

Yoongi laughed and hugged him back. It hurt deeply with how tight Taehyung was hanging on, but Yoongi didn't mind. Instantly, it felt like Taehyung had never left.

"I'm so sorry I didn't get to say goodbye to you," Taehyung said. "You disappeared, I had no idea what happened or where you went."

Yoongi's smile faded a little as he looked at Taehyung. "I went to the hospital," is all he said. Instantly, Taehyung knew what he meant. He knew of his mental health and knew it wasn't good.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you," Taehyung whispered tearfully, just for them to hear.

Yoongi's eyes started watering. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed his best friend until he was standing in front of him. "Its not your fault," he whispered back softly, "I don't blame you for leaving."

Taehyung gave him a soft smile. A fake one, Yoongi knew, but he still tried. "How did you meet Jungkook?" He asked, suddenly concerned.

Yoongi looked at him, his eyes sad. He looked over to the one guy in the room who he hadn't met yet, and decided that if he could trust Taehyung and Jungkook, he could trust this guy too. Jungkook gave him a nod, encouraging him to tell Taehyung.

"I tried to kill myself yesterday. Jungkook found me, and he saved me," he whispered.

Taehyungs tears had finally started to flow down his cheeks, too much sadness to hold back any longer. "Are you okay now? Are you better?"

Yoongi looked at Jungkook, giving him a smile. "I think I will be."

Taehyung wiped his eyes and sniffled. He wiped Yoongi's tears away with his thumb and looked over the blonde in front of him. _He looks so thin and fragile, like he could snap at any moment_ , Tae thought before stepping back beside Namjoon. "Okay then. You know everyone here but this goof."

Namjoon stepped forward, giving a comforting smile. "I'm Namjoon. If you need anything at all, all three of us will gladly be here for you." He reached his hand out and Yoongi gladly took it, shaking it with a smile. "I'm Yoongi, thank you for that."

Yoongi looked back to Jungkook, who seemed slightly confused, but happy none the less by the reunion. _I'll explain later_ , he mouthed to the brunette. He nodded in return.

"Alright then, time for breakfast!" Jungkook shouted.

Jungkook made eggs, sausage, and pancakes. Namjoon and Taehyung devoured their food, Yoongi on the other hand eating slowly. It was his first meal since the overdose, and the last thing he wanted was more puking.

Jungkook ate slowly, mostly because he kept stopping to look over and check on Yoongi. The blonde would give him a slight smile and nod, letting him know he was alright.

"So how do you and Taehyung know each other?" Namjoon asked, mouth full of eggs.

Taehyung punched him in the shoulder for talking with his mouth full. "What! I want to know!" Namjoon exclaimed.

Jungkook leaned forward, anxious to hear the answer.

"We were best friends in highschool. I went away for a little bit and when I came back, he had moved, I hadn't seen him since," Yoongi told him, using his fork to move his eggs around on his plate.

Taehyung grabbed his hand and smiled. "It's okay now. You won't get rid of me again."

Yoongi laughed. "We'll see about that."

Taehyung grabbed his chest and gasped, faking being hurt. "After all we've been through!"

The whole group laughed together, and Min Yoongi thought about how he'd missed having friends like this.

Once everyone was done eating, Jungkook grabbed all the plates and set them in the sink. "Alright you two, out. Yoongi needs more rest."

Both boys boo-ed at the statement, unhappy to leave so soon. Jungkook laughed at their child-like behavior.

"Fine. But only because Yoongi needs his rest," Namjoon said, standing up from his seat.

Taehyung followed and stood up as well. He walked over to Yoongi, giving him one last hug. "Have Jungkook give you my number. Call me if you need me, okay?"

Yoongi nodded. He waved goodbye as Namjoon and Taehyung left, immediantly making the apartment much quieter. Yoongi sighed in relief, feeling as though that reunion had taken its toll on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave some comments or kudos! I'd love to have some feedback on the story so far. Thanks for reading!


	4. Cared For

"If you want to take a shower, I'll get you some more clean clothes and towels," Jungkook told Yoongi.  
  
Yoongi nodded. "That'd be great. Thanks."  
  
Jungkook motioned for Yoongi to follow as he walked away. He grabbed the blonde a towel, a t-shirt and sweats, even a spare toothbrush to use. He led Yoongi to the bathroom, setting everything on the counter for him. He turned to leave, and Yoongi grabbed his hand.  
  
"Can you stay here? I still feel horrible and I dont want to pass out or fall in the shower," Yoongi whispered, almost as if he were embarrassed to ask.  
  
Jungkook gave a reassuring smile and nodded. "Sure, I don't mind."  
  
"Thank you," Yoongi said.  
  
Jungkook nodded and turned his back to Yoongi so he could have his privacy. Once he knew the blonde was in the shower, he sat down on the floor, his back resting against the wall. The sound of the water running lured him to close his eyes, and at some point, drift off into sleep.  
  
He woke up to Yoongi kicking his leg gently. When he opened his eyes, Yoongi was in front of him with just a towel wrapped around his waist. He was transfixed by the curves and lines of the blondes stomach. Only when he heard Yoongi speaking was he pulled out of his trance.  
  
"So much for helping," Yoongi smirked.  
  
Jungkook bit his lip anxiously as he stood back up. "Sorry, I didn't sleep much last night."  
  
Yoongi cocked his head to the side in concern. "Why don't you rest?"  
  
Jungkook shrugged. "Maybe if you sleep too. But until then, I'd rather be here for you if you need something."  
  
Yoongi stepped forward, closing the gap between them. "Why do you care so much for me? You barely know me."  
  
Jungkook shrugged and began gnawing on his lip again. "Maybe because you deserve it. To be cared for, I mean."  
  
"And why would you think that?"  
  
"Because I can tell you've gone awhile without being cared for. That's why we met, isn't it?" Jungkook asked.  
  
Yoongi's mouth parted like he was going to argue, but he didn't say anything.  
  
"Let someone care about you," Jungkook whispered.  
  
"I have before. It just got me hurt."  
  
"Who says that I'd hurt you? That me or my friends would hurt you?" Jungkook said. He placed his hand on Yoongi's stomach, ontop of a scar that wasn't his own doing. "Clearly someone has hurt you before, and not just mentally. So I can understand your hesitation, but I'm not like the people who hurt you. Neither are my friends. We don't hurt the people we care about."  
  
Yoongi didn't know how to react, the only thing he could do was tear up. "I'll yell at you and try to push you away. You know that right?"  
  
"We'll be ready for it," he whispered, giving his reassuring smile once again. He reached forward, wrapping his arms around Yoongi. "Just relax. It'll be okay, I promise."  
  
Yoongi let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and wrapped his arms around Jungkook, returning the hug. He nuzzled his face into the crook of the brunettes neck, and Jungkook ruffled the back of his hair.  
  
"Alright. Now get dressed so you can rest up some more," Jungkook demanded as he pulled back from the hug.  
  
Yoongi nodded and wiped his tears, quickly getting dressed while Jungkook turned his back. He brushed his teeth before returning to lay in bed, Jungkook by his side.  
  
"Lift up your shirt," Jungkook demanded.  
  
"Trying to get me naked again? Tsk tsk. Should have just asked," Yoongi said, lifting up his shirt.  
  
Jungkook snorted ungracefully, quickly covering his mouth with his hand. Yoongi smiled deeply at the response.  
  
"I try to take care of you, and this is what I get? Sass?"  
  
Yoongi just laughed.  
  
Jungkook put more cream on Yoongi's stomach, hoping that it would take away the pain he still felt.  
  
Yoongi closed his eyes, instantly feeling more relaxed. He wasn't sure if it was because of the cream taking away his pain, or the comfort of Jungkooks hands roaming his body.  
  
"Don't fall asleep on me again," Jungkook said.  
  
Yoongi smacked his arm as if to say,  _don't tell me what to do._

Jungkook pulled down Yoongi's shirt, throwing his arms behind his head as he laid back down. Yoongi rested his head atop Jungkooks chest, watching some tv.  
  
Jungkook didn't mind the sudden display of affection. In fact, it actually made his heart race. It was comforting to be cuddled up like that with someone again.  
  
Yoongi whispered something inaudible.  
  
Jungkook looked down at the boys head on his chest. "What'd you say?"  
  
"Sing to me," Yoongi said, loud enough for Jungkook to hear this time.  
  
Jungkook smiled, running his fingers through Yoongi's hair. "You make me begin..."  
  
Yoongi relaxed into the brunette. His voice was beautiful, another thing about Jungkook he wished he could have. He opened his eyes, looking up at Jungkook as he finished singing. "You made me again..."  
  
Jungkook broke eye contact, looking to the side and blushing slightly. Yoongi was watching him so intently, it made him nervous. Yoongi's fingers reached up to grab Jungkooks chin, turning his head to look back into his eyes once again. "You're beautiful," he whispered.  
  
Jungkook smiled brightly, his cheeks turning redder. He wasn't sure how to respond to the compliment.  
  
Yoongi continued. "I think you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen."  
  
"I could say the same thing about you," Jungkook told him.  
  
Yoongi smirked brightly, breaking away from their closeness. "Get dressed, we're going out."  
  
Jungkook blinked suddenly, confused by the sudden change in emotion. "What? You're still not 100% okay."  
  
"And if anything goes wrong, you'll be there. Now get ready, I'm raiding your closet." Yoongi walked off towards Jungkook's closet, digging through clothes and throwing his options onto the bed.  
  
Jungkook smirked, extremely attracted to Yoongi's bad boy attitude, and he couldn't find it in him to argue. He got up as well, digging through the closet with Yoongi.  
  
Jungkook picked out a pair of black ripped jeans, a grey v-neck, and a black hoodie.  
  
Yoongi had picked out a pair of light blue ripped jeans, a white shirt with a band logo on it, and a black leather jacket. He looked over Jungkook, biting his lip. "You look good."  
  
Jungkook smirked. He found Yoongi extremely attractive in his leather jacket, he thought it suited him well.  
  
Yoongi grabbed Jungkooks hand, laughing. He ran out the front door, Jungkook right behind him. "Hurry! Let's go!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have about 12 chapters written out and it starts taking a wild turn and I'm not sure if I'm 100% with it or not. Anywho, if I don't post for awhile, its probably because I deleted the last 8 chapters I wrote and restarted, lol. Hope you enjoy!


	5. Long Nights

Yoongi had taken them to a liquor store, buying vodka and getting them both drunk off their asses. They roamed around town, stumbling and falling into each other, laughing together. 

"I haven't been this drunk in a long time," Jungkook slurred. 

"You'll have a good time, I promise," Yoongi smiled. He grabbed Jungkooks hand once again, pulling him towards a food joint. They picked up some food to go, eating while they walked. 

Once they finished, Yoongi said, "I want to show you something."

Jungkook smiled. "Sure," he said, Yoongi still holding onto his hand. 

The sun was setting and the air was chilly, but Yoongi's hand pulling Jungkook forward kept him warm. 

Yoongi took him through some tunnels, hopping some fences to places they clearly weren't suppose to be, and finally at the end of a tunnel, there was an opening. At the end was lots of firewood piled together, grafittied walls, and a beautiful view of a lake on the other side. 

Jungkook thought the view was beautiful, especially at this time. It was nearly completely dark, but an eerie glow lit up the scenary. 

Yoongi walked closer to the pile of wood. He dug a lighter out of his pocket, lighting it up and throwing it into the fire. 

Heat instantly engulfed the both of them, and the night had a beautiful amber glow to it. There were seats lined around the fire and blankets, a clear sign that Yoongi came here often. 

"It's beautiful," Jungkook said in awe. 

"You're more beautiful," Yoongi whispered, almost quiet enough for Jungkook not to hear. Almost. 

Jungkook stepped closer to Yoongi, making him take a slight step back. It continued until Yoongi's back was against a wall, Jungkook cornering him with a smirk on his face. "You sure do talk a lot of talk, but you don't take much action."

Yoongi looked up to Jungkook, his mouth parting like he was going to speak, but not saying a word. 

Jungkook inched his face closer, his nose touching Yoongi's. His fingers reached up to trace the curves in Yoongi's collarbone, making the blonde gasp. 

"Have you ever kissed a guy before?" Jungkook asked, his breath hot on Yoongi's face. 

"N-No," Yoongi whispered, his voice cracking. He swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to regain his composure. 

Jungkook eyelashes fluttered, brushing against Yoongi's. "Do you want to?" Jungkook asked, his voice deep and rough. 

Yoongi pushed Jungkook back, causing the brunettes back to hit the wall. He rushed forward, placing his hand on the back of Jungkooks neck and capturing his lips in a heated kiss. 

Yoongi let out a soft moan at the touch of Jungkooks lips. The brunettes fingertips reached under Yoongi's shirt, resting on his hips. He shivered at the warmth of Jungkooks hands on his bare skin. 

Jungkook smirked, biting at Yoongi's bottom lip, making him whimper quietly. "The sounds you make..." Jungkook trailed off, "are wonderful."

Yoongi's lips trailed down to Jungkooks neck. His tongue licked from his collarbone to his jawline, and Jungkooks hands tightened on Yoongi's waist, the brunette letting out a deep moan. 

Yoongi bit down on the flesh, leaving a mark for others to see. He kissed the spot when he was done, and Jungkook immediantly found his lips on Yoongi's neck, returning the mark. 

The blonde leaned his head back, giving Jungkook all the access he needed to his skin. He slid his hand under the brunettes shirt, begging to see and feel what was hiding underneath. 

Yoongi wasn't surprised to feel the curves of his abs and a defined v-line hiding underneath his clothing. "Fuck," Yoongi mumbled, surprised that he could find Jungkook anymore attractive. 

"Mmm?" Jungkook mumbled, his lips still attached to Yoongi's neck. 

"You're so hot," Yoongi mumbled, his breathing hindered from Jungkooks lips still on his flesh. 

Jungkook laughed against Yoongi's neck, and the blonde thought it was the sexiest sound he's ever heard. They pressed their lips together once more before pulling apart, their worlds spinning from lust and dopamine. 

Jungkook was the one to grab Yoongi's hand this time with a smile, pulling him towards the fire. He sat down on the ground, Yoongi's head ontop of his lap, and Jungkook put a blanket over themselves to keep warm. 

They passed around the bottle, each drinking more and more, and relaxed together by the fire, occasionally looking up and trying to count the stars. They'd look at each other, sharing a quick kiss and laugh, feeling like they had known each other their whole lives. 

Yoongi texted Taehyung, and Jungkook texted Namjoon, both of them showing up not even 20 minutes later with more alcohol, fireworks, and sparklers. Jungkook and Yoongi didn't bother to hide their closeness, nor their hickies, and neither Namjoon or Taehyung said anything about it when they showed up. 

A calmness fell over them as they passed around the bottle, sharing stories about what was good and what was bad in their life. They enjoyed each others company, ran around with sparklers, drawing shapes into the night, and setting off fireworks, their drunken self's transfixed by the beautiful colors in the sky. They stayed out until the break of dawn that night, and Yoongi thought about how glad he was to be alive.


	6. Hangovers & Long Talks

Yoongi woke up the next morning to Taehyung asleep on the couch and Namjoon on the floor. Jungkook was in the bed beside him, a sweet innocence about him as he wrapped his arms around Yoongi.   
  
Yoongi smiled, last night coming back to him perfectly. He could easily say it was one of the best nights of his life. He couldn't remember how they'd gotten back to Jungkooks apartment, but that was the only part of the night that was hazy. He remembered kissing Jungkook, and feeling like he was at home when he did.   
  
He remembered Taehyung laid across his lap, reminiscing about the good memories they shared and feeling as though he had never left.   
  
He remembered bonding with Namjoon over music, rap specifically. He felt like thanks to Jungkook, he was starting to feel like he had a real family.   
  
Yoongi moved his face closer to Jungkook, admiring his beauty and watching the way his lips moved when he breathed. He remembered those lips well.   
  
Jungkook yawned before slowly opening his eyes, seeing a smiling Yoongi staring back at him.   
  
Jungkook couldn't help but smile back, his cheeks turning red at the sudden attention. "Hey," he whispered, his voice rough and raspy with sleep.   
  
Fuck, Yoongi thought that raspy voice of his was hot. He desperately wanted to hear more of it. That rough voice whispering dirty things into his ear as his warm hands explored his body.. He coughed suddenly, trying to pull himself away from the inevitable arousal he would get if he continued thinking that way. Instead, he opted for a smile and a "hey" back, his voice noticably higher than usual.   
  
"What happened to Taehyung and Namjoon last night?" Jungkook asked.   
  
"Well," Yoongi stated, looking towards the both of them, thankful for the distraction. "Both crashed here. I think they fell asleep on the couch and Namjoon just rolled off."   
  
Jungkook laughed. "Sounds like him."  
  
Yoongi stood up, grabbing blankets and placing them over the other two boys. He grabbed them glasses of water and asprin, placing it on the coffee table for when they woke up. He tucked some hair behind Taehyungs ear and wiped some drool off his face before returning back to the bed.   
  
"You really care for Taehyung, don't you?" Jungkook asked.   
  
Yoongi nodded. "He was the closest thing to family I had. He helped me through a lot, and he's honestly one of the only reasons I've stayed alive this long." Yoongi hesitated before continuing. "My dad was abusive. That's where a lot of these scars come from. I dated this girl for awhile. I loved her a lot, but she would lie and cheat, push and hit me. I dealt with it though, because I didn't want her to leave. Taehyung was there through it all. Then, I tried to kill myself in high school. My mom put me into a mental hospital. They kept me for months, Taehyung never knew what happened, just that I had disappeared. When I came back, he was gone. The one person who was family, vanished. Not that it was his fault. He was young, I'm sure his parents made him move. But I came back to nothing."  
  
Jungkook bit his lip, it hurt him so deeply to know Yoongi had such a hard past. "I'm so sorry. That must have been hard for you."  
  
He shrugged, looking over to his sleeping friend. "Its okay now. It almost feels like he never left. I feel like... This is where I'm meant to be. Here, with you and Taehyung, Namjoon, and any of your other friends. I feel like this is where I fit in."  
  
Jungkook grabbed his hand, smiling passionately at the blonde. "This is where you're meant to be. And believe me, I've got plenty more friends for you to meet, and plenty more memories to make with you."  
  
Yoongi rested his forehead against Jungkooks, his heart feeling full.   
  
"We should start breakfast," Yoongi said. "Taehyung gets mean hangovers and he gets cranky when he doesn't get food."  
  
Jungkook let out a snort. "You don't have to tell me twice."  
  
Yoongi cooked the bacon while Jungkook made the pancakes. As they were making breakfast, they could hear a stir in the living room, the other two boys finally waking up.   
  
Taehyung groaned into the pillow, his head instantly killing him. He pulled the blanket over his head to block out the light.   
  
Namjoon laid there with his eyes closed, rubbing his temples.   
  
"Watch the bacon for a second," Yoongi said. He walked into the living room to help both of them, he knew how bad hangovers could be.   
  
Yoongi pulled the blanket over Namjoons face to block out light, and he sat beside Taehyung on the couch. He ruffled his hair gently. "Morning sunshine. I got you asprin and breakfast." He reached over, grabbing the medicine and water, and placing it into Taehyungs hands. He gladly took the medicine, then quickly placed his face back in the pillow.   
  
"Thanks, Yoongi," Taehyung mumbled. "What's for breakfast?"  
  
"Bacon and pancakes, it'll be done soon," he whispered, pulling the blanket back over his friends head. He walked over to Namjoon and sat on the floor beside him. He peeled back the blanket slightly to see his face. "I got water and asprin."  
  
"You're a life saver," Namjoon mumbled, quickly taking the medicine and putting the water back on the table. Yoongi put the blanket back down and stood up.   
  
"Breakfast will be ready in 5 so pull yourselves together and come to the kitchen table," Yoongi told them before making his way back to Jungkook.   
  
All four plates were laid out on the table. Yoongi filled each plate with food and grabbed some orange juice for everybody. As he was pouring the last glass, both boys walked into the kitchen looking like zombies.  
  
"How do you both not have hangovers?" Taehyung asked as he sat down.   
  
"Tolerance. I drink a lot more often than you," Yoongi said.   
  
Jungkook nodded. "Same here."  
  
"What about Namjoon? He drinks a lot," Tae retorted.   
  
"And I get a hangover every time," Namjoon said distastefully.   
  
"Eat. You'll feel better," Jungkook responded, digging into his plate.   
  
As time passed, they all sat cuddled on the couch, watching some movie none of them paid attention to as they talked and laughed together.   
  
Namjoon was on the far left, Jungkook to his right. Yoongi sat beside Jungkook, leaning against him and Tae laid overtop of Yoongi and Jungkooks lap, one big blanket over all of them.   
  
"What are you all doing today?" Jungkook asked, looking around at his friends.   
  
Tae spoke up, his head still resting in Yoongi's lap. "Nothing for me. I've got the day off."  
  
"Same here," Namjoon stated. "Why?"  
  
Jungkook smiled, a little mischievously. He pulled out his credit card, handing it to Namjoon, the most responsible one. "Pick up lots of alcohol and snacks and party stuff. We're going big tonight."  
  
Namjoon smacked his hand on his face, laughing lightly. "After you just seen mine and Tae's hangover?"  
  
"Hey now, you'll be fine. Yoongi needs to meet _all_ my friends, I'm inviting everyone."  
  
Namjoons eyes lit up at that. It had been a long time since they'd all been together. Taehyung shot up, excitement written all over his face. "I'm so down!"  
  
"Then go shopping and I'll let everyone know. Only Namjoon gets the credit card," Jungkook stated, glaring at Taehyung.   
  
Tae raised his hands up innocently, like he'd been caught. "It was one time."  
  
"It was $400 I'll never get back," Jungkook smirked.   
  
Taehyung nodded, understanding why Jungkook wouldn't trust him with the credit card.   
  
"I got this," Namjoon said. With that, both boys left to go do some shopping for tonight, leaving just Jungkook and Yoongi.   
  
Yoongi looked up, Jungkook sensing his nervousness. "They're all great people, if you couldn't tell. You said this felt like family to you. We're just expanding your family now."  
  
Yoongi nodded with a smile, which led Jungkook to his next topic - last night.   
  
The brunette bit his lip nervously, trying to figure out how to start the conversation. "Hey... Yoongi?"  
  
"Yeah?" Yoongi answered, not taking his eyes off the tv.   
  
"About last night..."  
  
And suddenly, that grabbed Yoongi's attention. The blonde looked over, watching Jungkooks every move, scared of what he might say.   
  
"Yeah?" Yoongi croaked out, barely audible.   
  
Jungkook fidgeted with his hands, not sure how to continue. "Do you remember last night?"  
  
Yoongi furrowed his brows. "A little is fuzzy, but for the most part I remember."  
  
"So then do you remember us, in the tunnel? Before Namjoon and Tae came?"  
  
Yoongi's heart sank. He nodded, trying to prepare himself for Jungkook to say that the kiss they shared was just him being too drunk and he regretted it, that he didn't want Yoongi to read into it.   
  
Jungkook took a deep breath. "You don't regret it, do you?"  
  
And suddenly Yoongi realized that the conversation wasn't about Jungkook regretting his actions, but Jungkook making sure Yoongi didn't regret his. He smirked, a newfound confidence coming over him as he realized Jungkook meant what happened last night. He wanted it, too.   



	7. Show Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing but smut in this chapter honestly.

* * *

Yoongi grabbed Jungkook's hips, pulling him ontop of his lap, startling the brunette. Yoongi placed his thumb and forefinger on Jungkooks chin, pulling his face closer.  
  
Their lips brushed against each others as Yoongi spoke, "I don't regret a damn thing."  
  
Yoongi's breath on Jungkook's lips sent a shiver down his spine. He liked having the blonde this close - _loved_ it, actually, and he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.  
  
Jungkook took Yoongi's bottom lip between his teeth, sucking on the flesh. The moan that escaped Yoongi's lips was enough to encourage Jungkook to continue. The brunettes lips slid down to Yoongi's throat, placing hot, slow kisses against the skin.  
  
Yoongi's fingers dug into Jungkooks hips at the feeling, grunts and moans coming from the blonde whenever Jungkook found just the right spot. "You're bad, you know that?"  
  
Jungkook pulled his lips away to look at Yoongi. "You're the one who pulled me onto your lap," he smirked, "besides, you like this. Someone younger than you taking control, dominating you. It's your kink, isn't it? Or else you would have stopped me back in that tunnel."  
  
"You're a little shit," Yoongi spat, biting his lip, "you don't know anything about my kinks."  
  
Jungkook brushed his lips against the side of Yoongi's ear, "show me."  
  
Without hesitation, Yoongi slipped his hands underneath Jungkook's thighs, holding on tight and carrying him to the bed.  
  
Yoongi laid him down and straddled him. "Take your shirt off. Now."  
  
Jungkook smirked, obeying and tossing his shirt on the floor. "Whatever you say, _hyung_."  
  
Yoongi felt his dick twitch at the word, and somehow Jungkook was bringing out his most animalistic needs.  
  
He admired the boys body beneath him, running his hands over the curves and crevices of his abs. Jungkook had more than just a good body, he had a perfect one. He clearly took good care of himself and worked out often. He had a 6 pack and a v-line, clear signs he was well built.  
  
Yoongi bit his lip at the sight before him and leaned down, placing a trail of kisses down the brunettes stomach, eliciting moans from Jungkook every time.  
  
Yoongi was well aware of the buldge in Jungkooks pants, but Yoongi was a tease, and that was something the brunette would soon learn.  
  
Jungkook placed his fingers in Yoongi's hair, gripping tighter the further south his mouth went.  
  
As Yoongi's mouth reached his waist, he slowly and carefully unbuttoned Jungkook's pants, taking them off in one swift motion, just leaving the brunette in his boxers.  
  
Yoongi's mouth placed kisses on Jungkook's inner thigh, making the brunette arch his back in pleasure, and impatience.  
  
"I need you to take something off," Jungkook pleaded.  
  
"Telling your _hyung_ what to do now, huh?" Yoongi stated, his thumb rubbing circles on the brunettes inner thigh. "I think you should be punished for that."  
  
Jungkook drew a sharp breath in as Yoongi came face to face with him, their lips just centimeters apart.  
  
Jungkook lurched forward, connecting their lips. He put his hand on the back of Yoongi's neck so the blonde couldn't escape. Yoongi grabbed onto the erection in Jungkook's boxers, making the brunette moan into Yoongi's mouth and buck his hips forward.  
  
Yoongi quickly discarded his shirt before locking his lips onto Jungkook's neck, still rubbing at his erection.  
  
Jungkook's nails dug into Yoongi's back, his voice coming out as a whimper, "please.. I want to see your body."  
  
Yoongi listened, sitting upright so Jungkook could see. Jungkook sat up, Yoongi still on his lap.  
  
Jungkook ran his fingers down Yoongi's stomach, making the blonde shiver. As his fingers reached Yoongi's jeans, he quickly unbuttoned them and flipped Yoongi on his back, pulling off his pants and boxers, leaving him completely exposed.  
  
Yoongi tried to regain dominance, but Jungkook pinned his arms to the bed. "Come on, Yoongi. Let me pleasure you."  
  
Yoongi grunted, not wanting to be the one receiving. He wanted to ravage Jungkook's body, but the brunette wasn't having that right now.  
  
Jungkook looked him over, fully naked now. His bit his lip looking over Yoongi's toned thighs and erection, barely able to contain himself.  
  
Without warning, Jungkook took Yoongi into his mouth, still pinning his arms to the bed.  
  
Yoongi arched his back, his fists grabbing the sheets beneath him. " _Fuck Jungkook_ ," he moaned out shamelessly.  
  
Jungkook gripped Yoongi's wrists tighter at hearing his name. Nobody has ever moaned his name before, and it was so _hot_.  
  
When Jungkook was sure Yoongi wouldn't fight him for dominance, he let go. Yoongi's hands immediantly going into Jungkook's hair.  
  
Yoongi was so _needy_ right now. He needed Jungkook to get him off and make him feel amazing, and honestly, Jungkook could probably get off on getting Yoongi off. The sounds he made, the way he _moaned_ Jungkook's name, it was almost too much.  
  
"J-Jungkook," Yoongi moaned. "I'm so close, I don't want to cum yet."  
  
Jungkook didn't care that Yoongi didn't want to cum yet. He knew Yoongi would be cumming more than once, anyways. He wanted to see what Yoongi was like mid-orgasm, the faces and sounds he'd make, he wanted to know how he tasted. That's why Jungkook kept going, despite Yoongi's protests.  
  
"Jungkook," Yoongi said, more stern this time, pulling at Jungkook's hair. But still, the brunette kept going.  
  
Yoongi moaned out, his body ready for a release. His fingers gripped tighter on Jungkook's head, his hips bucking into the brunettes mouth.  
  
"Fuck," Yoongi screamed, releasing every ounce of himself into Jungkook's mouth. His body twitched with pleasure, shaking peacefully as Jungkook swallowed and wiped away any trace of Yoongi on him.  
  
Yoongi took a minute to breathe before he flipped Jungkook on his back. "You just don't listen, do you _maknae_?"  
  
Yoongi ripped off Jungkook's boxers, eliciting a gasp from the brunette below. "You wanted it," he whispered sensually. "You wanted _me_."  
  
"Correction," Yoongi stated. "I _want_ you, present tense."  
  
Before Jungkook could respond, Yoongi's mouth was on his erection, moving quickly.  
  
Jungkook's world was spinning. He moaned and moaned, but it didn't seem like enough to express how he was feeling. He watched Yoongi, finding nothing sexier than the man below him.  
  
Jungkook gripped the blondes hair, not having much stamina left in him to hold out.  
  
He drew out another moan before speaking. "Y-Yoongi, _fuck_ , I'm not going to last long." He gripped the sheets, preparing for his sweet release, when Yoongi pulled off, leaving him without cumming.  
  
"W-What..." Jungkook whispered. "Why'd you stop?"  
  
Yoongi crawled up Jungkook's body, smirking as their lips brushed together. "I told you you needed punished, didn't I? You never listen to your hyung."  
  
Jungkook gritted his teeth, his boner aching for _something_. "I want you, Yoongi."  
  
The blonde smirked once more. He had Jungkook right where he wanted him, begging and pleading. "If you want to cum, you'll have to work for it."  
  
"I'll do anything," Jungkook whimpered, "please."  
  
Yoongi bit down on Jungkook's lip and kissed him quickly before pulling Jungkook on top of him. "Ride me," he demanded.  
  
Jungkook nodded and leaned forward, pulling something out of his drawer. He wasted no time in lubing up Yoongi's dick. He quickly lined himself up and took in Yoongi, a face of bittersweet pain flashing across his features.  
  
Yoongi placed his thumbs on Jungkook's hips, rubbing circles comfortingly. "You okay?"  
  
"Yeah," Jungkook said, giving himself a minute to adjust.  
  
"If it hurts too bad, we don't have-"  
  
Yoongi's words were cut off when Jungkook started riding him. The pleasure shot through Yoongi so quickly, he had to close his eyes.  
  
"You feel so good inside me," Jungkook moaned out, keeping a steady pace.  
  
Yoongi couldn't take it for long, seeing Jungkook ride him like that. He needed to pound into the brunette, give him something to remember for days. He wanted to take it slow and savor things, but _fuck_ , Jungkook was _riding_ him and he wanted to explode.  
  
Yoongi thrust his hips forward in time with Jungkook, making the brunette throw his head back in pleasure.  
  
Jungkook screamed, biting his lip as Yoongi thrusted into him.  
  
Both boys were moaning each others names loudly, unable to handle the amount of pleasure surging through their bodies. It almost felt like too much.  
  
Jungkook was the first to cum, Yoongi could feel it building up with the way he clenched himself around Yoongi, the way his grip got tighter. Yoongi kissed him while he rode out his orgasm, shaking with pleasure, shooting the liquid all over their stomachs.  
  
Yoongi pulled back from the kiss when Jungkook was done shaking, when his orgasm had stopped. Yoongi was getting close to his orgasm, and Jungkook encouraged him.  
  
Jungkook rubbed his hands down Yoongi's sides, still riding him and whispering things like, "fuck, you're so hot," and, "I want to feel you cum inside me."  
  
Hearing Jungkook talk dirty like that got him off even faster, making him orgasm in no time.  
  
Jungkook gasped at the feeling of Yoongi releasing inside of him, and Yoongi looked over Jungkook's body while riding out his orgasm, making a few last, hard thrusts before pulling out and closing his eyes.  
  
Jungkook laid beside Yoongi, resting his head on his chest, the blonde running his fingers through Jungkook's hair.  
  
"That was fucking amazing," Jungkook whispered.  
  
Yoongi laughed, his smile lighting up the room. "Yeah, it was."


	8. Meet N' Greet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. This is mostly just a filler chapter of Yoongi meeting everyone, but some shit starts going down.

Jungkook and Yoongi took a shower together, relishing in the hot water together after sex.   
  
They got out and finished getting dressed and ready right when Tae and Namjoon came back. They smirked at each other, knowing their little secret was safe, not like they cared.   
  
Everyone set up streamers and a blacklight, a stereo blaring music, punch bowls spiked with alcohol, shots of dozens of different kinds of alcohol, boxes of pizza and a beer pong table. After hours of setting up, the party was ready to begin.   
  
Namjoon, Tae, Jungkook and Yoongi were already pretty drunk before anyone arrived, making Yoongi more sociable for when his soon to be friends showed.   
  
The first people to arrive were Jimin, J-Hope, and Jin. Jungkook hugged all his friends, saying how glad he was that they could make it, and he introduced Yoongi to them all individually.   
  
"Yoongi, this is Jimin. He likes to think of himself as the face of our group," Jungkook smirked.   
  
Jimin smiled brightly, and what a pretty smile it was. He held out his hand, Yoongi shaking it. "I'm Yoongi. I'm just here for the booze," he smirked.   
  
Jimin laughed. "Aren't we all?" He winked at Yoongi as he walked away to grab some shots.   
  
"He's a huge sweetheart, super friendly and comforting to talk to when you need him," Jungkook whispered to the blonde.   
  
"Alright. J-Hope, this is Yoongi. J-Hope is by far our happiest and most hyper friend."  
  
J-Hope smiled from ear to ear, holding out his hand. "He's not wrong. Nice to meet you, Yoongi."  
  
"Likewise," Yoongi smiled, watching as the red head walked off to find Jimin.   
  
"Jin here is the mom of the group," Jungkook announced.   
  
Jin smiled shyly, reaching out to shake Yoongi's hand.   
  
"Nice to meet you," Yoongi smiled. Jin nodded in return.   
  
"He's shy at first, but he's really cool once he opens up," Jungkook told him.   
  
All three of the boys came back after a minute, holding shots in their hands. Jimin smiled, handing one to Yoongi, and J-Hope handed one to Jungkook. They all clanked glasses and quickly downed the shots.   
  
Jin made a face of disgust, sticking his tongue out. "That was disgusting."  
  
"Its called hard liquor for a reason," Jimin laughed.   
  
J-Hope chased his shot with a glass of Coke, smiling towards Yoongi and Jungkook. "That's pretty strong. I see why you guys are wasted already."  
  
Everyone laughed and Jimin grabbed Yoongi's hand, pulling him towards the couch. Everyone followed and found a seat.   
  
Jimin was on the far left, Yoongi beside him. J-Hope was next to Yoongi, and on the far right was Jin. Jungkook stayed back to greet people as they came in.   
  
Jungkook walked up to Yoongi as him and the guys were laughing hysterically, and the brunette smiled to himself as he seen Yoongi making friends.   
  
"Yoongi," Jungkook interrupted, catching the boys attention.   
  
"Yeah Jungkookie?" Yoongi asked, sipping vodka from a cup, his eyelashes fluttering.   
  
Jungkook's heart clenched at the nickname, sending a warmth through his whole body. With a smile, he said, "I've got some more people here you should meet." He motioned towards the door, sending 3 people their way.   
  
A boy with bright white hair came straight up to Yoongi, all smiles. "Hey! I'm Minhyuk. And you are?"  
  
"My names Yoongi, nice to meet you." Instead of a handshake, the boy with white hair leaned down and went straight for a hug. Yoongi wasn't much of a hugger, but he let it happen, seeing as the boy seemed very excited to meet him.   
  
Yoongi looked up at another guy with red hair. He was built and smiled friendly, but not nearly as hyper as the other red head beside him on the couch.   
  
The red head in front of him held out his hand with a smile. "I'm Wonho. I've heard a lot about you."  
  
Yoongi looked towards Jungkook, whose face was turning bright red, and lifted an eyebrow in his direction. He laughed, "I'm Yoongi," he said, shaking Wonho's outstretched hand, "and all good things, I hope."  
  
"All good, I promise," Wonho laughed, his eyes scrunching up in delight.   
  
Yoongi smiled back at the red head before turning his head to linger on the one who hadn't introduced himself yet. He was beautiful in every way, nearly taking Yoongi's breath away.   
  
"This is Kihyun. Kind of shy, very artsy, amazing singer," Jungkook said, speaking for the boy who seemed a little shy.   
  
Kihyun smiled, blushing at the compliment. "Don't let him exaggerate me. I'm mediocre at best."  
  
"I'm sure you're great. I'd love to hear sometime. I'm Yoongi," he smiled, stretching his hand out first.   
  
Kihyun shook it gently. "I'll hold you to that."  
  
"Alcohol is over there, pizza there, and beer pong there," Jungkook said, pointing in various directions. All three boys took off to grab some alcohol.   
  
Kihyun came back, sitting on the floor infront of Yoongi, a cup full of vodka in his hand.   
  
Yoongi chuckled. "Big drinker?"  
  
Kihyun looked at his cup and smiled. "Not normally. But this is a party, right?"  
  
"Cheers to that!" J-Hope shouted, taking another shot.   
  
A few minutes later, Jungkook came back with the rest of the people to introduce.   
  
"Jooheon, another rapper of the group. Shownu is mom #2. Hyungwon is Wonho's boyfriend, and Changkyun here only comes for the alcohol."  
  
"Well shit, Jungkook, let us introduce ourselves," Changkyun said, smirking.   
  
"Nice to meet you all. I'm Yoongi."  
  
They all held out their hands and Yoongi shook them one by one, all the introductions now out of the way. Yoongi went to the table with the shots, meeting Wonho there.   
  
"Here to drink with me?" Wonho asked.   
  
"Hell yeah," Yoongi said, grabbing a shot. He clanked glasses with his friend and intertwined their arms together before taking the shots.   
  
Yoongi looked around, seeing Jooheon and Hyungwon on a team of beer pong and Minhyuk and Shownu on the other.   
  
Changkyun had made his way beside Kihyun on the floor in front of the couch, talking with all his friends.   
  
Namjoon, Tae and Jungkook were in the kitchen, eating some pizza. Everybody seemed to be having a great time.   
  
"You seem like you're really close with Jungkook," Wonho said, grabbing another shot.   
  
Yoongi smiled, nodding his head. "Yeah, I am."  
  
"Do you know anyone besides him at this party?" Wonho asked.   
  
"I know Namjoon and Tae. That's it, though," Yoongi shouted over the music, stepping closer to Wonho so he could hear him. "I'm making friends, though. Everyone here is really nice."  
  
Wonho smiled. "We all are, or we try to be."  
  
Yoongi laughed, turning to look at the red head. "If you don't mind me asking, how long have you and Hyungwon been dating?"  
  
Wonho smiled softly, thinking back. His cheeks blushed pink and he looked up at the blonde through his bangs, "a little over two years."  
  
Both boys turned their attention towards Hyungwon over at the beer pong table, who excitedly had his arms up and a bright smile on his face as he made it into a cup.   
  
"He seems really nice. I didn't get to talk to him much though," Yoongi chuckled.   
  
"He's a very loving person. Also has no filter either, so I'd get used to that," Wonho laughed.   
  
"Will do," Yoongi stated before grabbing some more shots and heading to the kitchen.   
  
Kihyun, Jimin and Changkyun were there with Namjoon, Tae, and Jungkook, all of them eating slices of pizza.   
  
Jungkook could tell Yoongi was still a little nervous, and he grabbed onto Yoongi's hand for reassurance. Tae and Namjoon were talking about something, the rest of them engaging in a serious conversation about who's worst day of their life was actually the worst. Changkyun won, his one night stand burning all his clothes and him having to run through the city in his boxers.   
  
Minhyuk came running in, hand in hand with J-Hope, a bright smile on his face. "Some of us are going to play spin the bottle, you guys in?"  
  
Most agreed, Yoongi being one of them, and they all sat in a circle in the living room. All the players were Kihyun, Changkyun, Wonho, J-Hope, Jimin, Minhyuk, Tae, and Hyungwon.   
  
Changkyun spun first, having to kiss Wonho. They made out some, nothing spectacular out of respect for Hyungwon.   
  
J-Hope spun next, having to kiss Jimin. J-Hope declared that he'd kill him if there was tongue. There was, but he wasn't expecting Jimin to be such a good kisser, either.   
  
Minhyuk spun, excited the bottle landed on Hyungwon. They made out some, nothing extreme for Wonho, even though the red head didn't seem to mind.   
  
It was Yoongi's turn to spin. The atmosphere was great, everyone was drunk off their asses and having the time of their life. When the bottle landed on Kihyun, he smiled. Kihyun was excited to finally be chosen but he was nervous, and it showed.   
  
Yoongi sat in front of Kihyun, assuring him that he'd take it slow if he wanted, letting Kihyun take the lead. He could continue the kiss or stop if that's what he wanted.  
  
Kihyun nodded, glad for the reassurance. Yoongi leaned in first, sure Kihyun was too shy to start.   
  
Yoongi placed both hands on Kihyuns face, gently pressing his lips against Kihyuns.   
  
Kihyun gasped slightly, but slowly returned the kiss.   
  
Everyone was cheering for Kihyun, knowing he was shy. He smiled into the kiss hearing his friends in the background.   
  
Kihyun placed his hand on the back of Yoongi's head, smashing their lips together harder, deepening the kiss.   
  
Kihyun even slipped his tongue in Yoongi's mouth, their friends going wild with excitement in the background.   
  
Yoongi placed his hand on Kihyuns hips, pulling him up onto his lap.   
  
Kihyun let out a gasp against Yoongi's lips. He played with Yoongi's hair, running his fingers through the strands and pulling on it, making Yoongi groan.   
  
Kihyun pulled away, his breathing labored. He smiled and got some high fives, his friends glad to see him finally let loose.   
  
Next Taehyung spun the bottle, watching it land on Yoongi.   
  
"Damn, Yoongi's getting all the love tonight," J-Hope said with a smile.   
  
Tae motioned for Yoongi to come to him. "Come to daddy," he said with a smirk.   
  
Yoongi sat on Tae's lap, wrapping his arms around his neck. Tae placed his hands on Yoongi's waist, gripping the flesh.   
  
Tae pressed their lips together eagerly. Yoongi gasped in surprise at the sudden jump, but Taehyung was always gentle, or gentle enough, anyways.   
  
Tae bit Yoongi's lip, making the blonde on top of him let out a soft moan. Tae smirked, glad to find one of Yoongi's weaknesses.   
  
Taehyung pulled on the flesh between his teeth, running his hands up Yoongi's sides.   
  
Yoongi parted Tae's lips with his tongue, sliding it into his mouth.   
  
Taehyung gladly let him in. Yoongi grabbed onto Tae's hair, pulling on it.   
  
Tae let out a deep moan, one that wasn't meant for everyone to hear.   
  
Yoongi smirked shamelessly, his teeth now grabbing onto Taehyungs bottom lip, sucking on the skin softly.   
  
Taehyung breathed heavily, his lips kissing Yoongi's desperately. Tae put one of his hands on the back of Yoongi's neck, assuring he wouldn't pull away.   
  
Their friends were screaming now, excitement taking over that there was finally a heated makeout session.   
  
Yoongi couldn't help the arousal that was burning up inside of him. He licked at Taehyungs bottom lip eagerly, the younger moaning into his mouth.   
  
Taehyung gripped Yoongi's hips tighter, warningly. Yoongi ignored the warning and pulled back on Tae's hair, running his lips down his neck teasingly.   
  
Tae let out a soft whimper and Yoongi could _feel_ his boner growing. Yoongi let up on his friend and pulled his lips away, taking deep breaths and trying to steady his breathing after the kiss. Once he calmed down, he looked up at Taehyung questionably. "You okay?" Yoongi whispered, just for them to hear.   
  
"Yeah, just a little dizzy I guess," Tae smiled softly. Yoongi wasn't sure if it was from the kiss or the alcohol.   
  
Yoongi stood up once he knew Tae's boner was gone, grabbing two more shots beside him and downing them quickly. He then held his hand out for Tae to grab.   
  
Tae accepted, and Yoongi took him to a private room, ignoring the screams from their friends in the background.   
  
Yoongi laid Tae down, sitting beside him on the bed. "Did you drink too much? Do you need anything?"  
  
Tae blinked slowly, trying to get the dizziness to fade away. "No, I'm okay. I just.. that was a really good kiss."  
  
Yoongi laid beside Tae on the bed and laughed. "It was. It was a _really_ good kiss."  
  
Taehyung looked over to Yoongi with a smile, his hand slowly caressing the blondes cheek. "Can we do it again?" He asked, biting his lip.   
  
Yoongi parted his lips and licked them slowly. "Yeah, we can," he whispered.   
  
Taehyung quickly pressed his lips against Yoongi's once more and the blonde gasped, not expecting the sudden action, but eagerly returning it. Taehyung felt so warm against him it was almost intoxicating, the liquor in his body telling him to let Taehyung have him however he wanted.  
  
Taehyung climbed ontop of Yoongi, pinning his wrists down tightly to the bed. Yoongi whimpered, loving the feeling of Taehyung restraining him roughly but his lips so gentle and soft against his.   
  
Yoongi heard the door creak open and he wanted to care, he wanted to see who was there but Taehyung's lips on his were all that mattered at the moment.   
  
Whoever opened the door didn't leave because Yoongi never heard the door shut. He heard footsteps get closer and a voice whisper, "it looks like you two are having some fun."   
  
  
  



	9. Tomorrow

Instantly, Yoongi recognized it as Jungkook's voice. The brunette stepped closer to Yoongi, smirking brightly.   
  
"Jungkook," he whispered, trying to pull his arms out of Taehyungs grip. Taehyung only gripped on tighter, his eyes darkening the slightest bit.   
  
Jungkook ran his fingers through Yoongi's hair, brushing the strands out of his face. "Taehyung here came to me and asked about us, what we were to each other. I told him we didn't have labels, we were just us. He asked if he could take a shot at you, and I'm all about sharing," Jungkook smiled mischievously. "In fact, it kind of turns me on."   
  
Jungkook pressed his lips against Yoongi's, pulling away slowly. "Maybe next time we'll make it a threesome. Have fun. Jimin wants a shot at you next. Besides, if you couldn't tell, we're all _very_ close. We like to share. Kihyun, Changkyun, Hyungwon and Wonho.. They'd all love to share, too."   
  
Jungkook smirked as he walked away, closing the door behind him. Yoongi blinked a couple times, unsure of what the hell just happened. And suddenly, Tae's lips were on his collarbone, and Yoongi couldn't think straight anymore.   
  
"Tae.. I-I don't under-"  
  
Taehyung's tongue was running along the pulse in his neck, making Yoongi whine uncontrollably.   
  
"Relax baby," Taehyung whispered, his hot breath on Yoongi's ear, "I've got you."  
  
Yoongi bucked his hips forward, trying to get some friction against his growing erection. Admittedly, he was already much more turned on than he should be. It felt _so_ right and _so_ wrong to be doing this with his long term best friend, but he'd always fantasized about Taehyung, and now it was finally happening.   
  
Taehyung released his grip on Yoongi's wrists and pulled his and Yoongi's shirt off, caressing the scars and curves of his body with his fingertips.   
  
Yoongi shivered at the touch.   
  
Taehyung pressed his lips gently to some of the scars on Yoongi's arms and shoulders. Yoongi sat up, Taehyung still on his lap. Yoongi smoothly ran his hand over Taehyung's chest and stomach, feeling the soft skin and muscles for the first time.   
  
Yoongi bit his lip watching himself touch Taehyung. The boy with pink hair smirked at the way Yoongi admired his body. Yoongi tilted Tae's chin up, exposing the skin of his neck. He kissed it softly all over, biting down.   
  
Yoongi shivered at the moan Taehyung let out. He moved his lips down to Tae's shoulders, then his chest. He pushed at Taehyung's chest, leading the pink haired boy to lay down, Yoongi now on top.   
  
Yoongi wasted no time in unbuttoning Taehyungs pants and ripping them off, along with his boxers. Yoongi placed his lips on Taehyungs inner thighs, kissing them slowly.   
  
Taehyung's legs began to shake, Yoongi finding one of his weaknesses and exploiting it teasingly.   
  
"Y-Yoongi," Tae muttered between breaths, "I'm sensitive there."  
  
"I know baby," Yoongi whispered, a smirk pulling at his lips at Tae's reaction. "I can tell. You're shaking."  
  
Yoongi gripped onto Taehyungs shaft, still planting kisses on the boys thigh. Taehyung bucked his hips forward into Yoongi's hand, moaning out his name, his legs shaking harder than before.   
  
"Fuck Yoongi," Taehyung grunted, deep and guteral, full of lust.   
  
Yoongi worked his hand on Taehyungs erection, his teeth occasionally biting down on the boys inner thighs. Taehyung gripped his hands into Yoongi's hair, pulling at the blonde locks so Yoongi would look at him and make eye contact.   
  
"Take your fucking clothes off or I'll rip them off," Taehyung groaned. His eyes were darker than normal, disoriented. Yoongi thought he could get off just by the need in them.   
  
And normally, Yoongi would protest, make Taehyung be the one to strip him, but Yoongi wanted Taehyung as much as Tae wanted Yoongi.   
  
The blonde shed his pants and boxers in one swift motion, leaving them both naked. Taehyung bit his lip as he looked over Yoongi.   
  
Yoongi could see Tae leaking precum, and Yoongi quickly licked it up with his tongue, not missing the way Taehyungs mouth fell open at the sudden action.   
  
"You taste amazing," Yoongi whispered, licking his lips and looking into Taehyungs eyes.   
  
Taehyung let out a whimper, his dick throbbing at the way Yoongi was looking at him. " _Please_ ," he pleaded.   
  
"Please what?" Yoongi asked, although he knew the answer.   
  
"Suck me off," Taehyung answered, his erection twitching, "I need it."  
  
"You don't need it, you want it. You want my warm mouth wrapped around your cock, swallowing every ounce of you," Yoongi whispered, his fingers trailing over Taehyung's waist.   
  
"Don't _tease_ , Yoongi," Taehyung stated, gripping the sheets as if he couldn't take much more.   
  
Before Taehyung knew what hit him, Yoongi's mouth was on him, swallowing every inch of him. Taehyungs eyes rolled back, his hips jutting forward. " _Fuck_ ," he screamed, almost loud enough for everyone to hear.   
  
Taehyung gripped Yoongi's hair, thrusting his hips in beat with Yoongi's mouth. He didn't gag once, and he took every inch of Taehyung without hesitation.   
  
Yoongi reached his hand down, his thumb rubbing circles on the sensitive part of Taehyungs inner thigh.   
  
Taehyung bit his lip in an attempt to hold himself back. "Yoongi," Tae moaned. "I-I'm gonna-"  
  
Yoongi knew what Taehyung was going to say, and Yoongi just quickened his pace, urging Tae to cum.   
  
Taehyung's hips thrusted forward once more, and he came with a deep moan of Yoongi's name. The blonde sucked him off slowly to ride out his orgasm, Tae's legs shaking from the pleasure.   
  
Yoongi swallowed, part of Tae's cum dripping down his chin. Tae licked it up, throwing Yoongi roughly on his back so he could take the lead.   
  
He opened up the nightstand drawer, Jungkook telling him there was a bottle of lube inside. Taehyung quickly lubed himself up before sliding into Yoongi.   
  
Yoongi barely flinched at the pain. It was nothing compared to how good Taehyung was going to make him feel.   
  
With a nod from Yoongi, Taehyung thrust hard and deep, not holding back. He pinned the blondes arms down, knowing it was a kink for him.   
  
"Fuck, you're so tight," Taehyung mumbled, biting his lip in pleasure.   
  
Yoongi moaned out, not caring who heard them at this point. "You feel so fucking good," he cried out in pleasure.   
  
Taehyung kept thrusting, hitting Yoongi's prostate every time, making the boy beneath him wither in pleasure.   
  
Taehyung grabbed Yoongi's shaft, pumping him in beat with his thrusts.   
  
Yoongi gripped Taehyungs thighs, his nails digging into the skin, threatening to draw blood. He wouldn't be able to handle much more of this. He was already so close to the edge.   
  
Taehyung knew Yoongi was nearing his release. "Cum for me, Yoongi. I'll make you orgasm more than once, I promise."  
  
With a few more thrusts and a few more pumps, Yoongi was screaming, spilling cum all over Taehyungs stomach and his own.   
  
Taehyung continued thrusting into Yoongi, the hand he used to get Yoongi off now gripping the sheets.   
  
Yoongi closed his eyes, his eyes nearly in tears from pleasure. It was all so much, too much.   
  
Taehyung rested his forehead against Yoongi's, the blonde connecting their lips once again in a passionate kiss. They moaned into each others mouths, biting at lips and connecting tongues.   
  
Taehyung was close, so close it nearly burned his insides. Yoongi knew by the way Taehyung was moaning and snapping his hips faster, Yoongi felt it in his movements. "I want to feel you cum inside me," Yoongi whispered, his lips still against Taehyungs.   
  
Taehyung grunted at the statement, gripping the sheets tighter.   
  
"You already taste so good, I wonder what it's like for you to fill me up, too?" Yoongi smirked.   
  
_Fuck_ , Taehyung thought, _this guys going to be the death of me._   
  
Taehyung came, without warning. Yoongi talking to him like that, so _dirty_ , he couldn't hold back anymore.   
  
Yoongi shivered at the feeling of Taehyung cumming inside of him, he'd never felt that before. And Taehyung pulled out, leaving Yoongi whining.   
  
Taehyung quickly made up for it by licking up the cum off Yoongi's stomach, and taking Yoongi whole in his mouth. Yoongi's taste was something Taehyung wanted to savor forever.   
  
"Taehyung!" Yoongi shouted, half out of suprise and half out of pleasure.   
  
Yoongi wasn't ready, he didn't have time to prepare for the feeling of Taehyungs mouth on him. It felt so good, and the pleasure hit through his whole body.   
  
Yoongi wrapped his fingers up in Taehyungs pink locks, gripping onto them for dear life.   
  
Taehyung grabbed Yoongi's hips, digging his fingers into the soft flesh. Little did Taehyung know, that was another weakness of Yoongi's. He squirmed beneath Taehyung, the pleasure all too much for him to handle.   
  
"Taehyung please," Yoongi whined out. "I can't take it!"  
  
Taehyung didn't pull back, though, no matter how much Yoongi pleaded or pulled on his hair. If anything, Taehyung worked faster, making Yoongi moan out unintelligble things. The blonde was so loud, Taehyung considered covering his mouth. But everyone knew what was going on, and if they didnt, the hickies on Yoongi's neck would surely tell. Taehyung wanted everyone there to know that _he_ did this to Yoongi, that he made him _scream_ uncontrollably.   
  
Yoongi let out a long moan, quickly followed by a whine, and released into Taehyungs mouth, his whole body shaking.   
  
Taehyung swallowed every drop of Yoongi and laid beside the blonde on the bed, both of them trying to catch their breath.   
  
Yoongi reached out, grabbing Taehyungs hand and intertwining their fingers. He rested his head on Taehyungs shoulder, nuzzling his head into the crook of Tae's neck.   
  
"You're fucking amazing, Yoongi," Taehyung said, gasping for breath.   
  
"In bed or just in general?" Yoongi asked, smirking.   
  
"Both," Taehyung stated, "but I meant in bed."  
  
Yoongi closed his eyes, almost nervous to speak. "This won't ruin our friendship, will it?"  
  
Taehyung pulled back a little to look at Yoongi. He placed a gentle kiss on his lips and looked into his eyes. "This won't ruin anything. I've wanted that for longer than you can imagine."  
  
Yoongi smiled, getting up and grabbing a towel hanging up in the bathroom. He threw it at Taehyung, the towel landing on his stomach. "Clean yourself up. We've got a party to get back to, we don't have time for you to be sappy."  
  
"You sure you want me to get dressed? Cause I could go for round two," Tae smirked.   
  
Yoongi rolled his eyes, grabbing another towel for himself and wiping himself clean. Yoongi got dressed first, back into the same clothes, and tried fixing his hair back to the way it was.   
  
Taehyung stood up, pulling on his pants, shirt, and jacket. He walked up to Yoongi, whispering in his ear. "There's no point in fixing your hair. Everyone already heard you screaming."  
  
Yoongi blushed a deep red, still attempting to look decent. He forcefully pushed Tae against the door, trapping him with his arms. He kissed Tae roughly, pressing his body against his. When he pulled back, he smirked. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard later," Yoongi told him.   
  
" _Fuck_. Promise?" Taehyung said, gripping Yoongi's ass.   
  
Yoongi licked over Taehyungs pulse in his neck, still feeling it beating fast after sex. Yoongi bit down on the flesh until he left bruises and then kissed the skin softly, his lips now on Taehyung's ear. "Oh, I promise baby."   
  
"Fuck you're hot," Taehyung whispered, licking his lips. "I might have to pull you away from the party again tonight." Taehyung grabbed Yoongi's hand and pulled him back out to the party, although a little reluctantly.   
  
They both grabbed some slices of pizza and at least four shots per person to get drunk again. Namjoon walked into the kitchen, a smirk on his face. "Hey you two."  
  
"What'd we miss?" Yoongi asked, not making eye contact.   
  
"Well," Namjoon started, stepping forward. He reached out, his fingertips gently brushing against the multiple bruises on Yoongi's neck teasingly. The blonde shivered at the unexpected touch and began blushing bright red with embaressment.   
  
"Shownu and Jooheon tried to fight, Jin threw up and Minhyuk tried to comfort him, Hyungwon and Wonho have been cuddle central, and Jimin and J-Hope have been asking about you two," Namjoon continued.   
  
"What'd they want?" Yoongi asked, still refusing to make eye contact with the boy in front of him.   
  
"Not sure," Namjoon said, "guess you better ask."  
  
Yoongi grabbed Tae's hand, pulling him towards the living room. Yoongi spotted the two almost immediantly in the corner and walked towards them, more than glad to get away from Namjoon.   
  
"Hey!" Jimin shouted, clearly drunker than before. He threw an arm around Yoongi, leaning on him.   
  
"Hey Jimin, having a good time?" Yoongi laughed, trying to keep the blonde held up.   
  
"The best!" Jimin stated, throwing his free arm up, splashing some alcohol out of the cup.   
  
"Where were you guys?" J-Hope asked seriously. "You were gone so long, we couldn't find you."  
  
"We had some stuff to take care of," Taehyung said, smiling sincerely.   
  
"Is that why blondie's covered in hickies that weren't there before?" Jimin giggled, sipping his drink. "And your neck too?"  
  
Yoongi grabbed at his neck, feeling the bruised flesh throbbing underneath his skin.   
  
Taehyung smirked proudly. "Yeah, that's why."  
  
"Lucky you," Jimin smirked. "Can't imagine how good he'd be in bed."  
  
"Jimin!" J-Hope yelled, laughing at his friends boldness.   
  
"What!" Jimin shouted, "I want a turn, too."  
  
Yoongi looked at Jimin, laughing fondly. "Aren't you a little too wasted?"  
  
Jimin frowned, looking like a sad puppy. "No, I'm just being honest."  
  
"Being honest about wanting to sleep with me?" Yoongi asked, smirking.   
  
"Yeah!" Jimin said with a smile. "J-Hope wants to sleep with you too, and Namjoon!"  
  
"Jimin!" J-Hope shouted once again, a little embaressed now.   
  
Yoongi reached forward and slid his hand in Jimin's back pocket, grabbing his phone. Jimin looked confused, but let it happen.   
  
Yoongi handed him back his phone, all of his contact information up. Yoongi pulled out his phone, handing it to Jimin. "Put in yours and J-Hope's."  
  
Jimin nodded, his fingers just barely sticking out of his sweatshirt as he typed everything in. He handed Yoongi back his phone, still slightly confused.   
  
"You ever want to talk or know what I'm like in bed, feel free to text me anytime. You or J-Hope," Yoongi winked.   
  
Jimin's mouth fell open slightly and he looked to J-Hope, who was blushing slightly. He looked back at Yoongi, nodding his head quickly.   
  
Yoongi grabbed Tae's hand and pulled him off towards Jungkook, leaving the two drunks behind them reeling.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight turn of events. Or maybe a major turn of events. Idk I just love Yoongi with everyone, lol.


	10. House of Cards

Yoongi and Taehyung met up with Jungkook in the hallway, who was socializing with Wonho, Jooheon, Shownu and Hyungwon.   
  
"Hey!" Yoongi smiled to the group, immediantly going towards Jungkooks side. He smiled at the blonde eagerly, planting a kiss on his lips a little possesively.   
  
Tae wrapped his arms around Yoongi's waist from behind, Yoongi relaxing into his arms. It felt weird getting this much attention from multiple people, especially in front of everyone. But Yoongi loved both Taehyung and Jungkook in different ways, but just as equally.   
  
In every relationship he was always forced to pick that one person, stick with them through thick and thin, give them everything he had. Now, he wasn't being forced to pick. He could give his love to everyone, and he had plenty of love to give. He knew they weren't dating, but he never felt any less loved because it wasn't official.   
  
Namjoon walked towards Yoongi, resting his back against the wall with his foot pressed against the surface. He looked at Yoongi, a soft smile on his face. "Enjoying yourself?" Namjoon asked, his hands in his pockets.   
  
"Yeah, I am," Yoongi smiled. "Are you?"  
  
Namjoon nodded lightly. "I wish I was more drunk, though."  
  
Yoongi smiled mischievously. "Let's help you get more drunk, then." He grabbed Namjoon's wrist, pulling him towards the kitchen. Tae reluctantly, and with a little whine, let Yoongi leave his arms.   
  
Yoongi grabbed two shots, one for him, one for Namjoon. He handed Namjoon his shot, looking the boy over. "Are you a heavy drinker?" Namjoon shook his head. "Four shots and I'll be wasted, guaranteed."  
  
Yoongi smiled. "Four shots it is then."  
  
They locked arms, both downing the liquid at the same time. The burn down their throats was so strong they had to breathe through their nose. Yoongi grabbed two more, handing Namjoon his second one.   
  
"For someone who's a lightweight, you sure do take your alcohol well," Yoongi told him.   
  
"I take a lot of things well," Namjoon smirked, sending a quick wink Yoongi's way.   
  
Yoongi laughed, trying to cover up the arousal that shot through him at the statement. He shook his head as they locked arms for their second shot, downing it quickly.   
  
Yoongi grabbed the third round of drinks. "Still want to keep going?"  
  
Namjoon nodded, taking his glass from Yoongi's hands. "I may be a lightweight, but I still love alcohol, and still drink often."  
  
"That's what I like to hear," Yoongi stated. They clanked glasses, both taking the shot without intertwining arms this time.   
  
Namjoon made a sour looking face, pursing his lips together and squeezing his eyes shut as he felt the alcohol begin to burn down his throat and heat up his body.   
  
"One more. Let's make this one interesting," Yoongi smirked.   
  
Namjoon looked at him, slightly confused.   
  
"Lay down," Yoongi demanded.   
  
He laid across the kitchen table, Yoongi lifting his shirt up. He quickly poured the alcohol down the crevice of Namjoon's stomach, licking up the alcohol.   
  
Namjoon lifted his stomach off the table in suprise and pleasure. He wasn't ready for a body shot, and he certainly wasn't expecting it.   
  
Yoongi licked up any remanance of liquid on his skin, pulling his shirt back down once all of the alcohol was gone.   
  
"Shit Yoongi, you gotta warn people when you do something like that," Namjoon whispered, standing back up.   
  
"Why, is it a kink of yours?" Yoongi teased, his turn to lay on the table. "Sorry to get you all riled up."  
  
Namjoon laughed, lifting up Yoongi's shirt. He poured the alcohol on Yoongi's stomach, letting it flow down the center of his stomach. He licked it up quickly, swallowing every drop.   
  
Yoongi stood up, throwing his arm around Namjoon to lean on him. "Are you drunk now? Because I'm pretty drunk," he slurred.   
  
Namjoon smiled, trying to steady Yoongi without falling over himself, "I'm really drunk. You have a nice stomach to take shots off of. I think I should sit down."  
  
Yoongi laughed at Namjoon's statement like it was the funniest thing of the night. Both boys walked over to the couch, swaying back and forth and occasionally bumping into some people. No one minded though, seeing as they were all drunk off their asses anyways.   
  
Namjoon sat down on the couch, his legs stretched out and his back against the armrest.   
  
Yoongi took a seat on Namjoon's lap, his body facing sideways. He played with Yoongi's hair as Changkyun and Kihyun came to sit down on the floor in front of them.   
  
Yoongi got extremely excited at their arrival. He placed his hands on both boys faces, rubbing his thumbs over their cheeks without moving from Namjoon's lap. "Changkyun! Kihyun!"  
  
Kihyun smiled brightly, and Changkyun just laughed.   
  
"Hey there, drunkie," Changkyun said, amusement coating his voice.   
  
"You're both so pretty," Yoongi whispered. "Kihyuns like an angel, and you're like a bad boy who'd ruin my life."  
  
Namjoon laughed uncontrollably at Yoongi, finding the boy hilarious in his drunken state.   
  
Kihyuns smile reached his eyes, still incredibly drunk. He was clearly flattered by the statement, and maybe even a little embaressed.   
  
Changkyun, on the other hand, wasn't much of a drinker. He was mostly sober through the night, minus a couple shots here and there. He smirked, laughing quietly. "If you want me to ruin your life, I certainly can."  
  
Yoongi shook his head, "I already make enough bad decisions in my life," he laughed.   
  
Jimin and J-Hope walked towards the couch, both boys taking a seat on the floor beside Changkyun and Kihyun.   
  
Instantly, Yoongi leaned forward and ruffled Jimin's blonde hair. "Hey Jiminie!" Yoongi shouted.   
  
Jimin smiled brightly, his cheeks pink from all the alcohol. Yoongi thought he looked adorable like that and resisted the urge to pinch the youngers cheeks. "Hey Yoongi. Miss me?"  
  
"Tons!" Yoongi said, leaning forward to bring his face closer. "You're really pretty."  
  
Jimin laughed, reaching his hand out to run his fingers through Yoongi's hair, ruffling it. Yoongi cooed at the feeling, closing his eyes and nuzzling his head into his friends hand.   
  
"You're quite different when you're drunk," Namjoon said observingly, looking down at the blonde in his lap.   
  
"In a good way?" Yoongi perked up, his eyes opening to look at the boy above him.   
  
Namjoon leaned forward, bringing his face closer to Yoongi's. He giggled loudly, clearly just as drunk as the blonde was. "Yeah, in a good way. You're just very..."  
  
"Affectionate," J-Hope laughed, finishing the sentence.   
  
Yoongi gasped, sitting upright. "J-Hope, I didn't even say hello!"  
  
Yoongi jumped off the couch and hugged J-Hope so roughly they both fell over, Yoongi landing ontop of the red head. J-Hope laughed hard enough for tears to come out of his eyes and he placed his hands on the blondes hips, making sure he didn't fall over.   
  
"I guess that hug makes up for it," J-Hope said, still laughing. Yoongi had his arms wrapped around J-Hope's neck, squeezing tightly with his legs straddling both sides of the younger. His cheek rested against J-Hope's chest, and the younger rubbed his back softly.   
  
Yoongi chuckled, and everyone around them did as well. As Yoongi sat up, he saw Jungkook and Taehyung coming his way.   
  
Taehyung walked towards them, a smile on his face. "You getting along with everyone, Yoongi?"  
  
Yoongi stood up and reached his hands out like a little kid, waiting for Taehyung to walk into his arms. The pink haired boy did so, and Jungkook hugged Yoongi from behind.   
  
Taehyung gently pet his hair, the blonde hiding his face cutely into his neck. "Yeah, everyone's great," Yoongi stated, still holding onto both boys.   
  
Jungkook moved his lips against Yoongi's ear, whispering so only they could hear. "Have you kissed anyone here?"  
  
Yoongi shook his head and turned around to look at the brunette. "N-No," he stuttered, the question throwing him off slightly.   
  
"Did you want to?" Jungkook asked softly, his full attention on Yoongi's lips. "You looked pretty comfy with Namjoon a minute ago, and J-Hope."  
  
Yoongi bit his lip softly, not saying a word.   
  
Jungkook raised his voice, loud enough for the lilac haired boy on the couch to hear. "Do you think Namjoon is pretty?"  
  
Yoongi gaped, nodding his head. "Of course I think Joonie is pretty."  
  
Jungkook smiled, moving a strand of hair out of the blondes eyes. He brought his lips closer to the boys ear, whispering softly. "Why don't you go show him just how pretty you think he is."  
  
Yoongi let out a noise that resembled a whine, and he looked over to the boy on the couch. He watched as Namjoon smirked at him, making his dimples show, before he turned back to Jimin and continued talking.   
  
"Y-Yeah," Yoongi said quietly, licking his lips. "I can do that."  
  
"Good," Jungkook said, giving the smaller a push towards Namjoon. "Joonie's wanted a taste since he first met you, he's just too shy to say anything."  
  
Yoongi reached forward and grabbed Namjoon's hand, pulling him away in the middle of his conversation. Namjoon didn't say a word, just followed the blonde to wherever he took him.   
  
Yoongi took them into Jungkook's bedroom and before he could even fully close the door, he felt Namjoon's hands rest on both sides of his neck, caressing the skin softly. Yoongi gasped at the touch, trying to focus on his face in the dark room.   
  
The lilac haired boy looked down at him lovingly, concerned. "Are you sure you're okay with this? We don't have to do this now if you don't want to."  
  
Yoongi rested his back against the wall, Namjoon pinning him there but not forcing him to stay. He opened his mouth slowly. "I want to. God, believe me, I really want to."  
  
Namjoon smiled, hanging onto Yoongi's every word. "You're sure?"  
  
Yoongi felt Namjoon's breath on his lips, tickling them gently. "I'm positive, Joonie."  
  
Namjoon smiled genuinely, stroking his thumbs over Yoongi's neck as his lips inched closer. "Are you nervous about it?"  
  
Yoongi's breath hitched and he took a deep breath, focusing on the eyes locked on his. "No. Just kiss me, please."  
  
Namjoon inched his body closer, fully pinning Yoongi against the wall. He put his lips as close as he could get without touching them and gripped onto Yoongi's hips, reveling in the way the older twitched under his fingertips. "Beg me."  
  
Yoongi tilted his head back, leaning it against the wall and groaning at the words. "Fuck. Please, Joon. I need to feel you. Need to touch you." Yoongi reached out to touch at Namjoon's sides but the younger grabbed his wrists, pinning them above his head.   
  
Yoongi whined, arching his back in hopes to press closer to Namjoon. The younger smirked at having Yoongi so needy underneath him.   
  
"Soft or hard?" Namjoon asked, rubbing at one of Yoongi's hipbones with his free hand. "I can do both."  
  
"Soft," Yoongi breathed out. "I want you to make me feel loved, please."  
  
Namjoon's heart clenched at the words. _Did Yoongi feel unloved? Did he not think that everyone in this house loved him with every fiber of their being?_ Namjoon thought.   
  
Namjoon pressed a kiss to Yoongi's lips, soft and slow before he began kissing at the blondes neck. "Yoongi," he mumbled, his words muffled by skin. "We all love you. Every one of us here."  
  
Yoongi gulped and closed his eyes, loving the small kisses the younger was peppering down his neck. "Not in the way I want or need. Please, just pretend like you love me for tonight."  
  
Namjoon rested his forehead against the blondes, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes to keep his tears from falling. "Baby," Namjoon's voice was deep and demanding, he didn't want to hear the older talk about himself that way any longer. "We do love you in that way. Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin, J-Hope, Jin, me..."  
  
Yoongi looked up into Namjoon's eyes, concern and sadness staring back at him. Yoongi reached his hand up, caressing the youngers cheek. "Then show me, Joon. Show me how much you love me. Make me feel special."  
  
Namjoon wrapped his arms around Yoongi's waist, slipping underneath his shirt and feeling the warm skin underneath his palms. He pressed his lips to Yoongi's, slow and soft, reveling in the feeling and butterflies it gave him in the pit of his stomach.   
  
Yoongi left out soft pants and moans, not bothering to hold back how good Namjoon was making him feel just from a simple kiss. He wrapped his hand around the side of Namjoon's neck, curving around the skin until they became one.   
  
Namjoon slipped his lips down to Yoongi's neck, kissing and nibbling at the skin and licking at the curves of his collarbones.   
  
Yoongi moaned softly at the feeling, his fingers playing with the hair at the base of the youngers neck.   
  
"So pretty," Namjoon whispered, placing a kiss overtop of Yoongi's collarbone. "Gonna make you feel so good, so loved."  
  
Yoongi whined at the statement, his back arching off the wall to press against Namjoon.   
  
Namjoon wrapped his fingers around the hoodie Yoongi was wearing, slipping it off his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor.   
  
Yoongi reached for Namjoon's shirt, slowly unbuttoning it until it exposed his smooth, toned stomach and chest underneath. The older let out a soft whine when he seen a tattoo covering majority of Namjoon's side. It was a beautiful piece, something that looked like it deserved to be on display in a museum. It was a beautiful forest, trees and mountains in the background, stars littering the sky and the aurora borealis. A wolf was between some trees, howling up at the sky. It was beautifully colored, not faded in the slightest.   
  
Yoongi reached out, his fingertips brushing over the tattoo, eyes locked on all the details. Namjoon shivered at the light touch and smiled at Yoongi's awe.   
  
"It's beautiful," Yoongi whispered, still captivated and immensely turned on by the art on his body. It was a huge turn on for Yoongi, boys with tattoos, especially very detailed and beautiful ones like Namjoon's.   
  
"I can think of something more beautiful," Namjoon whispered. His fingers curled around Yoongi's jaw, forcing him to look back at Namjoon. The younger leaned forward and nipped at Yoongi's bottom lip, swallowing up all the little noises the blonde made.   
  
Namjoon pulled his body back slightly, only far enough for him to shuck off his shirt and pull Yoongi's shirt off, leaving both of their top halves exposed.   
  
Namjoon gripped at Yoongi's thighs, hoisting him up until the older wrapped his legs around Namjoon's waist. Yoongi moaned happily when he felt Namjoon's erection press against his own at the new position. He tightened his legs around the youngers body as Namjoon moved his hands to Yoongi's ass to hold him up better.   
  
The blonde leaned forward, nipping and kissing at any exposed skin on the youngers neck and jaw, leaving behind multiple hickies on the youngers, smooth, unblemished skin.   
  
"So good, baby," Namjoon whispered, his eyes closed as he focused on Yoongi biting at his neck. "So beautiful, you know just how to make me feel good."  
  
Yoongi moaned at the praise, the words urging him to do even better, make Namjoon feel even better. He thrusted forward, rubbing up against Namjoon's groin and smiling at the noise the younger let out.   
  
Namjoon pressed his lips to Yoongi's, harder and more needy than before. He carried the older to the bed and laid him down, looking over every detail and curve of his body.   
  
Yoongi crawled towards the end of the bed where Namjoon still stood. He locked eyes with the younger as he slowly unbuttoned Namjoon's jeans, hooked his fingers under the waistband of his boxers and pushed both fabrics down at an agonizingly slow pace, making the younger let out a soft whimper at the wait.   
  
Namjoon hissed when his erection sprung free from the constriction, the cool air hitting his now fully exposed body.   
  
Yoongi licked his lips as he hurriedly pushed the clothing further down Namjoon's legs before the younger kicked them off fully. Yoongi kissed at Namjoon's hip bones and ran his tongue along the crevices of his very defined abs. He placed his hands on both sides of Namjoon's hips for leverage and looked up pleadingly.   
  
Namjoon ran his fingers through Yoongi's hair, smirking at the lust filled eyes that looked back at him. "You wanna suck me off? Is that what you want baby?"  
  
Yoongi nodded enthusiastically. He bit his lip in anticipation and caressed the youngers skin underneath his palms. "Please. I want to make you feel good."  
  
"You make me feel better than anyone else ever could." Namjoon smiled at the way Yoongi's eyes crested over at the praise, and he ran his thumb over Yoongi's bottom lip, who eagerly took it into his mouth and began to suck.   
  
" _Fuck_ ," Namjoon panted, the sight making his cock twitch impatiently. "Yeah baby boy, you can make me feel good."   
  
Yoongi perked up at the words and let Namjoon pull his thumb away. Once the digit was out of his mouth, he wasted no time before filling his mouth up again with Namjoon's dick.   
  
The younger hissed at the sudden warmth that engulfed him. He threw his head back in pleasure and carded his fingers through the blonde locks encouragingly.   
  
Yoongi pulled off with a pop and hummed in appreciation. "You taste so good, Joonie. Can't wait until you cum in my mouth."  
  
Namjoon just whimpered at the words before Yoongi was on him again, sucking and licking at him like his life depended on it.   
  
Occasionally Yoongi would pull back and only suck at the tip. He'd lick at Namjoon's slit and moan at the taste of his precum, eager to taste more.   
  
Namjoon felt his legs begin to shake and tremble, knowing he wouldn't last much longer with the way the older would make eye contact while he deep throated his dick, gagging at the feeling but never once stopping. Yoongi showed no mercy. His pace was quick and everytime he went down he took Namjoon in whole, letting his cock brush against the back of Yoongi's throat again and again.   
  
Yoongi began to hum around Namjoon's cock as precum dripped out of him at a rapid pace, making the older close his eyes pleasantly.   
  
"Gonna cum," Namjoon whimpered, his voice an octave higher than usual.   
  
He was careful not to thrust into Yoongi's mouth, wanting to obey the olders request of keeping it soft and gentle, wanting to make him feel loved rather than a quick fuck.   
  
Namjoon arched his back and his fingers gripped Yoongi's hair a little tighter as he felt spurts of white shoot down Yoongi's throat, the orgasm pulsing through his body more intense than any one he's ever had before.   
  
Yoongi hummed appreciatively, the vibrations around Namjoon's cock making him feel more sensitive as Yoongi continued to bob his head slowly, helping the younger ride out his orgasm.   
  
Once Namjoon's breathing calmed down, Yoongi pulled off and swallowed every ounce of liquid in his mouth, a smile pulling at his lips and tears brimming at the corner of his eyes.   
  
When Namjoon's eyes cleared from the lust-filled haze, he noticed a wet spot on Yoongi's jeans between his thighs.   
  
Namjoon leaned down and palmed at Yoongi's erection, making the blonde whine. "Getting me off got you off too, I see."  
  
Yoongi blushed a deep red and he opened his mouth to speak, but Namjoon cut him off.   
  
"Such a good boy. Took my cock so well, I think you deserve a reward."   
  
Yoongi's eyes lit up at the words, his stomach flipping in excitement.   
  
Namjoon laid Yoongi down on the bed, slowly pulling off the rest of the olders clothes as he spoke. "I'm gonna eat you out until you're a withering mess beneath me. Just screaming and moaning for me to fuck you. Would you like that?"  
  
Yoongi moaned at the words, his body arching up towards Namjoon's automatically. "Yes, Joon. _Please_."  
  
Namjoon took a second to admire Yoongi's fully naked body. His body was littered with scars Namjoon had long ago presumed were there, but the rest of his skin was so smooth and unblemished. Yoongi was pale, the scars against his skin a dark and very noticeable contrast, but the rest of his body was perfect. Small, pink little nipples and lightly toned abs, a v-line that accentuated his hips perfectly. Yoongi's cock was thick and at an average length, but it still made Namjoon's mouth water. The blondes legs were smooth and hairless, perfect for the younger to sink his teeth into.   
  
Yoongi bit his lip at the intense gaze Namjoon was giving him. He was extremely self conscious, especially about his scars, but Namjoon was looking at him like the older was his prey.   
  
"Joon?" Yoongi whispered, pulling the younger out of his daze.   
  
"So fucking pretty," Namjoon stated. He ran his hands over the curves of Yoongi's abs, making the older shiver under the touch. He pressed his lips to a deep scar on Yoongi's shoulder, making the blondes breath hitch. "Gonna make you mine. I'm going to have you so wrecked you'll come back begging for more."  
  
"Do it," Yoongi encouraged, his fingers running through the strands of Namjoon's hair. "Fuck me so good I can't walk for days. Tell me how pretty I am and how much you want me."  
  
Namjoon growled lowly, a primal sound escaping from deep inside the pit of his stomach. He intertwined his fingers with Yoongi's and pinned them above the blondes head. Namjoon kissed softly at the scars on his body, his lips lightly running down the olders arms, shoulders, and sides. "I wish I could get rid of these for you, so you wouldn't have reminders of your past. But I can't, so I'll just show you how perfect they are because they're a part of you."  
  
Yoongi smiled at the kindness in Namjoon's words, making him blush slightly. Namjoon knew nothing of Yoongi's past, he just knew how Jungkook and Yoongi met. But Namjoon wasn't stupid, Yoongi knew that. He knew Namjoon could tell by the depth and length of some of the scars that not all of them were self inflicted. And Namjoon knew that those scars meant that Yoongi didn't have an easy past.   
  
Namjoon gripped Yoongi's hips and flipped him over, his ass in the air and his face shoved in the pillows. Namjoon gripped Yoongi's cheeks and spread them apart, licking his lips as Yoongi's hole twitched in anticipation.   
  
Namjoon rubbed one hand down the bottom of Yoongi's spine, caressing the curve between his back and his ass. He kissed down the backs of Yoongi's thighs, making the older squirm impatiently.   
  
Namjoon used his index finger to rub at Yoongi's rim teasingly. He used his other hand to grip at Yoongi's ass in an almost crushing matter.   
  
"Baby," Namjoon whispered, rubbing some more at Yoongi's lower back. His voice was deep and needy, coated in lust and a need to get off soon, or the younger felt like he might literally go insane. "So tight and pink, so perfect. You want me to make you feel amazing? Want me to make you cum properly instead of in your pants?"  
  
Yoongi pushed his ass back in response, nodding his head even though Namjoon couldn't see him. " _Please_ ," he pleaded, the desperation in his voice evident.   
  
Yoongi was leaking an obscene amount of precum and his cock was throbbing almost painfully. Namjoon talking to him so _dirty_ but so _loving_ , every word went straight to his cock.   
  
Namjoon had gotten wasted and had one night stands before, it wasn't a new thing for him in the slightest. But nobody had ever made Namjoon feel so good, so needy. Namjoon wanted nothing more than to have Yoongi a withering mess beneath him, crying out his name and watching the olders orgasm pulse through his body. Namjoon wanted to mark Yoongi for everyone to see, wanted to carve out the fading hickies, presumably from Jungkook and Taehyung, and replace them with only his own. He wanted to make Yoongi his in an almost animalistic way. This time was different, though. It wasn't just a one night stand with someone he just met, it wasn't a one night stand at all. It was sex with someone he's wanted since the day he laid eyes on him, and even though he had been wasted before they entered the bedroom, Namjoon had never felt more sober, the liquor in his body vanishing and being overpowered with lust.  
  
Namjoon lurched forward, his tongue lapping at Yoongi's hole, licking in circles and teasing in and out of his entrance.   
  
Yoongi let out a strangled sound, almost a cry that seemed to get stuck in his throat. He pushed his ass backwards, nearly riding Namjoon's face.   
  
"Fuck Joonie. Feels so good." Yoongi gripped the sheets, fisting them tightly. He buried his face in the pillows, hoping to mask his moans so that the entire house didn't hear him.   
  
Namjoon teased Yoongi, licking slow, small circles around his rim and occasionally sucking on it. He wanted to make Yoongi feel good, but he didn't want him to cum yet.   
  
"Joonie please, h-hurts," Yoongi cried out, trying to push Namjoon's tongue deeper inside him.   
  
Namjoon stopped completely, making Yoongi whine at the loss. "Hurts? Baby, you already came. In your pants too, while my cock was down your throat."  
  
Yoongi turned his head slightly, seeing Namjoon in the corner of his eyes. "T-That was different..."  
  
Namjoon teased his finger at Yoongi's rim, pushing in the tip of his finger then pulling it out. "How's it different?"  
  
"Y-You weren't touching m-me." Yoongi flipped over on his back, exposing his throbbing erection and spreading his legs enticingly. "Please, make me cum."   
  
Namjoon felt the heat burning in his stomach at the sight of Yoongi, so submissive and compliant, and another growl escaped him. "Are you always so needy? With Jungkook and Taehyung?"  
  
Yoongi reached down to palm at his erection but Namjoon grabbed his wrist, making Yoongi whine impatiently. "No, I'm usually in control."  
  
Namjoon used his free hand to rub tenderly at Yoongi's neck, making the older coo and lean into the touch. "So I'm the only one who makes you like this? So whiney and submissive?"  
  
Yoongi looked up at Namjoon's eyes, slight tears of pleasure pulling at the corners. "Yes, daddy."  
  
Namjoon felt his cock twitch at the word, his grip on Yoongi's neck tightening in the slightest. "My baby boy, my Yoongi," Namjoon said, placing a quick kiss on his lips. "I think I've teased you long enough."  
  
Namjoon began sucking at the tip of Yoongi's cock, savoring the sweet precum that he licked up eagerly. He rubbed smooth circles with his thumbs on the olders hip bones, making him shake under the touch.   
  
Yoongi let out a long, drawn out moan of Namjoon's name, the heat of the youngers mouth on him nearly enough to already send him over the edge.   
  
Namjoon took Yoongi all the way into his mouth and pressed his hips into the bed, keeping the blonde from bucking up into his mouth - which he had done at a rapid pace when Namjoon took him whole.   
  
Namjoon moaned lowly once Yoongi was all the way in his mouth, sending pricks of electricity all the way up Yoongi's spine. "Fuck Joon, I'll cum if you keep doing that."  
  
Namjoon moaned again for good measure, loving the way Yoongi squirmed beneath him. He began sucking quickly, wanting nothing more than to taste Yoongi on his tongue.   
  
The blonde couldn't stay still with the amount of pleasure shooting through his body. His back arched and he gripped at the sheets, trying to ground himself but nothing seeming to help.   
  
Namjoon just rubbed at his hips encouragingly, making sure to keep him pinned to the bed.   
  
" _Fuck, fuck, fuck_ ," Yoongi shouted, biting his lip so hard Namjoon thought he might break skin. "Gonna cum, _please_ -"   
  
Yoongi screamed Namjoon's name, back arching off the bed and his mouth falling open as his orgasm hit him. He came into Namjoon's mouth, the younger sucking him off slowly through the aftershocks.   
  
It took Yoongi a couple minutes to fully calm down from his orgasm, the pleasure hitting him harder than it ever had before.   
  
Yoongi panted, his eyes closing for a second. "So good."  
  
Namjoon pulled off of Yoongi and swallowed, licking his lips to savor the sweet taste. Before Yoongi could recover, Namjoon slipped a finger past the olders rim, curving it up to brush against his prostate.   
  
"Fuck," Yoongi whined, not expecting the action but enjoying it nonetheless.   
  
Namjoon slid in a second finger, scissoring the blonde before brushing up against his prostate once again.   
  
Yoongi's hands still gripped at the sheets below him, little pants and whines escaping his lips.   
  
Namjoon slid in a third, fully stretching Yoongi out. When he pulled his fingers out, Yoongi whined at the loss but quickly perked up when he seen Namjoon squirt lube onto his hand and pump himself slowly.   
  
Namjoon groaned at the feeling of his hand pumping himself, glad to get a little friction. But Yoongi sat up quickly and pushed Namjoon back, making him fall flat onto the bed. Yoongi climbed ontop and lined up Namjoon's cock with his entrance, slowly easing in.   
  
Namjoon tilted his head back, his mouth falling open as Yoongi lowered himself deeper and deeper onto his cock.   
  
Yoongi bit his lip, the stretch burning slightly but nothing he couldn't handle. Once he bottomed out, he sat for a second to adjust, running his hands over Namjoon's chest. "Gonna make you feel so good," Yoongi promised. "Gonna make you cum inside me, fill me up."  
  
Namjoon gripped Yoongi's waist, tight enough that he was sure there would be bruises later. "My beautiful Yoongi, always so good."  
  
Yoongi began bouncing on Namjoon's cock, the praises urging him on. He loved the way Namjoon scrunched his eyes closed, the pleasure almost too much for him to handle.   
  
Yoongi continued to caress over Namjoon's chest and abdomen, feeling the smooth skin beneath his hands turning him on more. "Your cock is so big, Joonie. Feels me up so nice."  
  
Namjoon moaned at the words, his body feeling like it was going to explode any second. He opened his eyes, watching the pleasured look on Yoongi's face as he rode his cock like it was his favorite past time. "God, you're so beautiful."  
  
Yoongi began thrusting his hips forward and backwards, making Namjoon's cock brush against his prostate just right. Yoongi whined at the feeling, his eyes closing in pleasure. "Tell me how much you love me, tell me how good I've been for you, Joonie."  
  
Namjoon gripped impossibly tighter on Yoongi's waist, his eyes looking over the blondes face. His head was tilted back, his mouth parted slightly. His hands were still caressing Namjoon's torso and his hips were snapping back and forth. Namjoon planted his feet on the bed beneath him and began thrusting his hips up in time with Yoongi's.   
  
"I love you, love you so much. Such a good baby boy for me, taking my cock so well," Namjoon praised, his orgasm building in the pit of his stomach. "My baby, gonna please you anytime you want, make you feel so good, _mine_."  
  
Yoongi screamed, a sound loud enough Namjoon was sure everyone in the house had to hear, maybe even the neighbors as well.   
  
"Perfect body, perfect everything. I'm so lucky to have you like this," Namjoon continued, his hips thrusting brutally into Yoongi's prostate. "I love you so much, so glad to show you how much I love you."  
  
Yoongi moaned out Namjoon's name, his third orgasm of the night racking through his body. He came all over his and Namjoon's stomach, but never once stopped riding the younger. Yoongi breathed deep, trying to catch his breath. He angled his hips a little and slammed down onto Namjoon, making the younger gasp pleasantly.   
  
Yoongi leaned forward, planting loving kisses all over Namjoon's neck and whispering encouragements into his ear. "Best cock I've ever had, gonna fill me up so nicely. Made me feel so good, Joonie. Gonna be sore for days from your big cock. Cum for me, wanna feel you inside me."  
  
Namjoon's thrusts became a little sloppier, the heat rising in his stomach telling him he wouldn't last much longer. Yoongi made up for it by riding him just as good as he had been minutes before, never once slowing down.   
  
"My Joonie, no one's ever made me feel as good as you. I came so hard I seen stars. You're so amazing, love you so much." Yoongi placed both hands on Namjoon's cheeks, kissing him passionately as he felt Namjoon unravel. Yoongi felt Namjoon cum inside him, the youngers body trembling beneath him and soft moans escaping his lips. Yoongi swallowed every moan, never taking his lips off Namjoon's.   
  
Yoongi slowed his thrusts, riding him through his orgasm. Namjoon breathed deeply, trying to calm his racing heart.   
  
Yoongi peppered him with kisses all over his face and pushed Namjoon's sweaty bangs out of his face.   
  
Namjoon looked up at Yoongi, totally fucked out and his hair a mess as he trembled through the aftershocks of his orgasm. "God, you're fucking amazing."   
  
Yoongi smiled, kissing Namjoon once more. He caressed the youngers neck softly, running his thumb over the pulse point. Yoongi sunk his teeth into the skin, sucking to leave behind purple bruises.   
  
Namjoon turned his head to the side, allowing Yoongi more access. Namjoon rubbed pleasantly at Yoongi's back as the older left his mark. When Yoongi pulled off, he looked at Namjoon, his lips wet, red, and swollen. He swivled his hips once more, reveling in the way Namjoon gasped from the sensitivity of still being inside Yoongi. "You were amazing, Joonie. Made me feel so special and loved, made me feel so _good_."  
  
Namjoon smiled weakly, his body not willing to move much. He brought his hand up to Yoongi's face, gently tucking a strand of hair behind the blondes ear. "I mean it. I love you, Yoongs."  
  
"I love you, Joonie," Yoongi whispered. He kissed over the bruise he left on Namjoon's neck and pulled off of him slowly. He walked to the bathroom connected to the bedroom and grabbed a wet wash cloth. When he came back, he wiped himself and Namjoon down, cleaning them up before sliding on a pair of boxers and sliding Namjoon's back onto him as well.  
  
Yoongi laid back down beside Namjoon, cuddling into his side and resting his head ontop of his chest.   
  
"Surprised you didn't fall with how much your legs were shaking on the way to the bathroom," Namjoon teased, a smirk pulling at his lips.   
  
Yoongi smacked his arm, laughing quietly. "Shut up, Joon."  
  
Yoongi nuzzled his face into Namjoon's neck, relaxing when the youngers cologne filled his senses. He pulled the covers up to their necks and sighed deeply, content and comfortable.   
  
A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door followed by a very wasted Jimin. He smiled brightly at the two boys, his gums showing. "Everyone's getting tired and they all want to be near Yoongi, so we're all sleeping in here."  
  
Yoongi laughed softly. "All of you are going to stay in here?"  
  
"Yep!" Jimin said, everyone beginning to pile in behind him. Majority of them already had blankets, unless they were sharing, and they all picked their spots.   
  
"Slumber party!" J-Hope shouted, flopping down at the end of the bed. Jimin climbed in the bed, along with Taehyung, all of them snuggling together at the end of the bed.   
  
Jooheon and Shownu laid in a corner of the room, sharing a blanket. Hyungwon, Wonho, and Kihyun laid beside the bed on the floor, and Jin, Minhyuk, and Changkyun all laid separately, scattered around the room.   
  
Jungkook piled in the room last, making his way over to snuggle in the bed on the other side of Yoongi.   
  
Jimin hopped up from the bed, turning the lights off before climbing back in the bed, cuddling J-Hope under the blanket. Taehyung was curled into fetal position, looking so much younger than he actually was and absolutely adorable.   
  
By the time the chaos settled from everyone settling into the room, Jungkook had fallen asleep at Yoongi's side. The blonde pulled the covers up to his shoulder and tucked him in, smiling at the brunette.   
  
Namjoon looked at Yoongi, the blonde still snuggled into his neck. "You're really something, Yoongi," he whispered, throwing his arm over the blondes waist.   
  
Yoongi threaded his fingers through Namjoon's hair soothingly. "What do you mean?" He asked.   
  
"You're special." Namjoon closed his eyes, relaxing into Yoongi.   
  
"You are too," Yoongi smiled.   
  
"Shut the fuck up you love birds," Hyungwon shouted into the darkness. A slap sounded through the room, then an injured Hyungwon yelling in pain.   
  
Everyone bursted into laughter, and Yoongi closed his eyes with a smile. He fell asleep with Namjoon and Jungkook cuddled into him, surrounded by the people he loved, and people who loved him just as much.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So god damn sorry this took so long. A lot of shits been going on, but hopefully I'll be updating sooner.


	11. Unconditional Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter will talk a lot about self harm, suicide, and anxiety. Please don't read this chapter if you think it will trigger you.

Yoongi woke up the next morning surrounded by all the people he loved. He sat up, looking around the room fondly. Jungkook and Namjoon had their arms thrown around his waist, Jimin, J-Hope and Taehyung still at the opposite end of the bed. J-Hope snored loudly, his mouth gaping open and a drool puddle beside him. Jimin and Tae were a much prettier picture to look at while asleep. Jimin was curled up into fetal position with his arms tucked into his chest, breathing softly. Then there was Tae, cuddled into Jimin's back with his arms around the blonde, his lips parted slightly. And even though he had a warmth spreading through his chest looking at all the people he loved sound asleep, he still felt like there was an itch under his skin that wouldn't leave him alone. He woke up with his head a mess of thoughts, none of them being good, and instantly he knew that today would be hard for him. He knew his depression and anxiety were going to kick his ass, and he couldn't quite understand why. After all, everything he's ever wanted or needed in life was all in this room with him.   
  
Yoongi carefully slid out from under Jungkook and Namjoon's arms. He looked around on the floor, the rest of his friends scattered about. Some were cuddled together adorably, others sprawled out snoring as loud as could be. He couldn't help but smile to himself, despite his deteriorating thoughts and bad mood.   
  
Yoongi walked over to the closet, grabbing a few blankets out. He threw the largest one over the end of the bed, covering up Jimin and Taehyung since J-Hope had stolen all the blankets. He placed a smaller one over Hyungwon, Kihyun and Wonho, all three boys huddled together. Another was placed over Jooheon and Shownu, who were laid out beside each other. Lastly, he laid blankets over Jin, Minhyuk, and Changkyun, all of them beside each other.   
  
Yoongi walked back over to the bed, placing a soft kiss on Taehyung and Jungkook's lips and made sure they were tucked in good. Yoongi ran his fingers through Jungkook's hair, moving some strands out of his face. He studied the brunettes face before leaving the room and quietly walking into the kitchen.   
  
Yoongi grabbed the edge of the counter roughly, hanging his head and sighing deeply. He had a horrible urge to harm himself, to cut himself open and watch himself bleed to fuel some sick idea that he deserved the pain he got from it, that he deserved to feel the way he did. He even had another urge to take the pain a little farther, to continue what he started days ago before Jungkook found him on the side of the road.   
  
He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging roughly on the strands, somehow thinking that would make him feel better. He closed his eyes, praying that the tears hiding behind his eyes wouldn't spill over.   
  
He nearly jumped out of his skin when a hand touched his shoulder, pulling him from his thoughts. Yoongi looked over his shoulder, seeing Jimin standing behind him with a gentle smile on his face.   
  
Yoongi turned around, giving the blonde his full attention. Jimin's hair was a complete mess, sticking up in every possible direction. He wore a baggy white t-shirt that hung off his shoulder, exposing his collarbones. He had on grey shorts that could barely be seen over the obscenely large shirt hanging from his figure. Yoongi couldn't help but think the boy looked adorable, even in his fucked up state of mind.   
  
Jimin tilted his head to the side and ran his fingers through his hair, messing up the unruly locks even more. "You okay, Yoongs? You don't look so good."  
  
Yoongi scoffed at the question. He didn't mean for it to seem rude. After all, Jimin knew nothing about his past, not even how he met Jungkook, so the boy was utterly clueless about the entire situation. But something about Jimin asking him if he was alright set off a fuse in his mind, he was so _done_ with people always asking him if he was okay.   
  
"No," Yoongi admitted, making his way to the cabinets and searching for coffee grounds. "I feel like shit."  
  
"Bad hangover?" Jimin asked, making his way closer to Yoongi, resting his back against the kitchen table as he watched the older closely.   
  
"You could say that," Yoongi mumbled, slamming the cabinet door shut when he couldn't find what he needed. He rested his elbows on the table and rubbed his hands against his face before taking in a deep breath. "Can you please grab Taehyung? I need him to come here."  
  
Jimin stepped forward, rubbing his hand soothingly over the lower part of Yoongi's back. "Of course."  
  
Before the younger went to walk off, Yoongi grabbed his wrist gently. "I'm sorry if I seemed rude to you. I'm just... I'm having a bad day. I don't mean to take it out on you."  
  
Jimin grabbed onto Yoongi's hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "You don't have to explain yourself to me. I understand, Yoongi."  
  
Yoongi nodded and released the smallers hand, watching him walk off to grab Taehyung. Yoongi closed his eyes tightly, resting his head on the counter in hopes that the voice in the back of his head would stop.   
  
He wasn't that lucky, of course. His head throbbed with thousands of different ideas on how he could hurt himself, what would be the most painful, and what he likely deserved to happen to him. A few tears began to escape the corners of his eyes at the restraint it took for him not to give in.   
  
He heard a few footsteps coming down the hallway, and a sleepy Taehyung groaning at being awake so early.   
  
"Jimin said you needed something," Taehyung grunted as he finally stepped up to Yoongi, resting his back against the table in the same way Jimin had done moments before. Initially, Taehyung was irritated about being woken up when everyone knew how bad his hangovers were, but when Yoongi didn't answer, and he took in the slumped posture and defeated look on the older, he began to worry. "Yoongi?"  
  
Yoongi slowly turned around, his hands shaking and his eyes now red and puffy from the tears that fell. The blondes fists were curled into a ball so tight, Taehyung could see his knuckles turning white.   
  
Taehyung could visibly see the blondes entire body shaking. He knew from the way he shook, the words he refused to speak and the tears that fell that Yoongi wasn't in a good mental state. He'd seen it too many times before not to recognize the signs.   
  
"Shit," Tae mumbled, scrambling forward to wrap his arms around the older. Yoongi stiffened at the touch, no matter how many times Taehyung had touched him before, affectionately and sexually.   
  
Taehyung didn't mind that Yoongi didn't reciprocate the action, he just wanted the older to know that he was loved and that Taehyung was there for him.   
  
"Let's get you over to the couch, yeah?" Taehyung grabbed hold of Yoongi's hand, leading him over to the couch cautiously.   
  
Yoongi followed behind sluggishly, his free hand coming up to occasionally wipe away tears that had fallen. "What about everyone else? I don't want them to see me like this."  
  
Taehyung plopped down on the couch, his hands coming up to Yoongi's waist and guiding the younger onto his lap. Yoongi complied and tucked his head underneath the boys chin.   
  
"Oh baby," Taehyung whispered, his hand coming up to rub soothingly over Yoongi's back. "No one would judge you. Everyone here loves you and just wants to help. But everyone is still sound asleep, aside from Jimin. You've got nothing to worry about."  
  
Taehyung continued on when he felt Yoongi nod the slightest bit. "Now why don't you tell me what's going on?"  
  
Yoongi hesitated, his voice coming out like a broken sob. "I woke up today and I just... I felt off. Then I felt like I needed to hurt myself, in horrible ways. They won't go away, Tae, the thoughts. They keep telling me to do it!"  
  
"Shhh," Tae whispered soothingly. He rocked Yoongi back and forth, almost like a small child, and continued rubbing his back soothingly. "It's okay, baby. Everything's going to be okay."   
  
Yoongi finally broke down and began sobbing into Taehyung's chest. The younger whispered encouragements into his ear and rubbed at his skin softly in hopes to relax him. It seemed to work, for the most part. Yoongi seemed to calm down, his tears stopping and his breath stabilizing.   
  
Taehyung had always done this with Yoongi when he was having bad mental days. He would hold the boy and comfort him, let Yoongi cry into his chest until the older was too fatigued to cry anymore. Then Taehyung would take him and lay him into bed, tuck him in and stay with him to make sure Yoongi was okay. In all those years, nothing had changed.   
  
Yoongi began to get exhausted, his eyes slowly closing and his breathing slowing down. Once Yoongi began to snore softly, Taehyung was sure the boy had finally fallen asleep. He laid down on the couch, shifting Yoongi to lay ontop of him. He grabbed a blanket that was slung over the back of the couch and covered up him and Yoongi, letting the boy sleep ontop of him peacefully.   
  
Taehyung had almost dozed off as well when he seen Jimin round the corner, a shy look on his face. "Is Yoongi alright?"  
  
Taehyung bit his lip in thought. He didn't want to lie to Jimin, but he also didn't want to tell him more than Yoongi would be comfortable with. "Yoongi has a really hard past and it gets to him sometimes. I know how to calm him down, I've done it since we were kids. That's why he wanted me to be here."  
  
Jimin slowly stepped forward, almost scared he'd wake the blonde. He gently caressed his fingers through Yoongi's hair, moving the strands out of his eyes. "Will he be okay?"  
  
Taehyung unconsciously squeezed Yoongi tighter to his body in hopes that it would protect him in some way. "I don't know."  
  
Jimin continued to run his hands over Yoongi. He started at his hair and made his way down his cheek, to his chest, and then his stomach. At some point, Yoongi turned slightly, nudging his head closer into the boys hand. He tugged his arms out of the blanket, and that's when Jimin noticed.   
  
Jimin gently grabbed the blondes wrist, flipping his arm over to look at the dark scars. Jimin bit his lip in thought before speaking. "Is this..."  
  
"Yeah," Taehyung mumbled. "Some, at least."  
  
"Is that why-"  
  
"Yes," Taehyung interrupted. He knew Jimin wouldn't want to say the words out loud, so Tae finished the sentence for him.   
  
Jimin closed his eyes for a second, trying his hardest to collect his feelings and not burst into tears.   
  
"Just don't tell anyone, okay? He'll let everyone know in his own time."  
  
"And Jungkook?" Jimin whispered, stepping closer to the oldest protectively. "Does he know?"  
  
Taehyung nodded slowly. "Jungkook... He's seen Yoongi at his worst."  
  
Jimin slumped down on the floor, his back against the couch. He leaned his head back and ran his fingers through his hair as he sighed. "I'm not leaving his side, then. Not until he wakes up."  
  
Taehyung gave a pat to the top of Jimin's head. "I think he'd like that you stayed with him. You can talk to him when he wakes up if you want, as long as he's calmed down. He wouldn't mind you knowing, he just hates constantly repeating it to everyone, that's why he doesn't talk about it."  
  
Jimin grabbed onto Yoongi's hand that hung off the couch, the oldest squeezing it tight even in his sleep.   
  
Jimin turned to look over the sleeping figure, his eyes taking in every detail. The blonde was absolutely beautiful, the most gorgeous person Jimin had ever laid eyes on. To the way his hair fell over his eyes softly and the way his lips parted only slightly in his sleep, he was perfect, at least in Jimin's eyes. That's why it was so hard for him to believe that someone who was so calm and collected, so beautiful, had such a rough time and always kept it to himself.   
  
He looked up and seen that Taehyung had fallen asleep as well, deciding it best to get rid of most of the guys before Yoongi woke up. Jimin hoped that Yoongi would be better once he was up, but just incase he wasn't, Jimin figured Yoongi wouldn't want an audience around.   
  
He stood up, making his way over to the sleeping figures on the floor. He kicked and pushed at anyone who he'd thought Yoongi would want to leave, leaving only the ones closest to Yoongi.   
  
He woke up Jooheon, Changkyun, Wonho, Hyungwon, Shownu, and Kihyun. None of them were too pleased to be woken up and promptly kicked out, but Jimin promised that he would give Yoongi all of their numbers and that he would contact them soon to hangout again. He kept the details of the situation to himself, just telling them that Yoongi wasn't feeling well and he wanted everyone to leave so he could rest.   
  
None of the boys were angry, just concerned about Yoongi and asking if he was alright. Jimin assured them that he was okay, he just wanted to rest up.   
  
In the process of the 7 of them leaving, the others had all woken up as well. Namjoon and Jungkook had woken up first, looking around the room for the blonde that was missing between their arms.   
  
"He's in the living room with Tae," Jimin told them when he noticed their confusion. Both boys nodded as they rubbed at their faces, trying to force away the rest of their sleepiness.   
  
Jin and Hoseok were next to wake up, both looking wrecked as hell from their previous night of partying. Hoseok's bright red hair stood up in nearly every direction, his eyes squinted so tight it still looked like he was asleep. Jin was in a similar state, although he somehow managed to look more put together. His hair wasn't as messy, his clothes laying on his body straighter, but he still had the same squinty eyes.   
  
Jimin made his way over to Jungkook, grabbing his hand and tugging at it to get the youngers attention. Jungkook stood up, following Jimin to wherever the boy was leading him without protest.   
  
Jimin stepped out of the bedroom and into the hallway, closing the door softly behind him. "I don't know all the details, but I think something happened to Yoongi."  
  
Jungkook's eyes nearly shot out of his skull, his hands beginning to shake at his sides. "W-What do you mean?"  
  
Jimin laid his hands on the brunettes shoulders, squeezing reassuringly. "He's okay now, calm down. I just... I was talking to him this morning and he seemed off. He asked for Tae, so I went and got him. I came out later to check on Yoongi and he was asleep on the couch with Taehyung. He seemed upset earlier, so I was comforting him. Just touching his hair and rubbing his chest, and I seen his arms."  
  
Jungkook didn't say anything, so Jimin continued. "Taehyung said he didn't want to tell me anything Yoongi wouldn't be comfortable with, but he said that some of them were self harm scars and some weren't. I asked if that had something to do with why he was upset earlier, and Taehyung said yeah. I think maybe he wanted to hurt himself. Or maybe he already has, I don't know. But if I'm being completely honest, Yoongi seemed pretty wrecked. He didn't seem like himself at all. I kicked everyone else out just incase he wasn't any better when he woke up."  
  
Jungkook leaned forward and pulled Jimin into a tight hug, a broken sob escaping his lips. "Thank you, Jimin. For taking care of things and for letting me know."  
  
Jimin just nodded, giving a faint smile to the blonde. "I know Yoongi would want you to know, but he hates talking about it, so I'm going to tell you. You know that day I was going to visit my family, and I texted you and told you something came up and I found someone who needed help?"  
  
Jimin nodded slowly, urging for the brunette to continue.   
  
"It was Yoongi that needed help. I found him on the side of the road and I stopped to check on him. He had overdosed, he tried to kill himself. I picked him up and took him to a store, I grabbed some charcoal pills to absorb the medicine and made him take them. God, he was dying, Jimin. He was puking everywhere, and he started throwing up blood. I didn't want to take him to the hospital, they would just throw him in some psych ward. So I brought him here, I took care of him until he got better. Those scars on him, there's so much more underneath his clothes, all over his arms and shoulders. Some are self harm, others are from his dad. He was abused and he had a really horrible relationship with this girl who was verbally and physically abusive as well. He's had a really hard past, and he tried to kill himself not even a week ago. Fuck, I just didn't think he'd relapse so soon. I somehow thought that him making friends with everyone would make him better, that I wouldn't have to worry about losing him, but I guess it's not that easy."  
  
At some point, Jimin had started crying. The blonde didn't realize until he wiped at his cheek and pulled his hand away, tears covering the skin. "Fuck," Jimin mumbled, more to himself than to his friend. He took a deep breath and wiped away the rest of his tears roughly. "He's going to be okay, we'll make sure of that. We'll all take care of him, even if it means making sure he's never alone."  
  
Jungkook nodded, and he heard russling coming from behind his door, meaning that the rest of his friends were finally getting out of bed and getting ready for the day.   
  
Both boys went into the living room, seeing Taehyung still asleep and Yoongi tossing and turning.   
  
"Why don't you grab Yoongi and sit on the other couch? He doesn't look very comfortable. I'll start breakfast for everyone," Jungkook told him, already making his way into the kitchen.   
  
Jimin scooped up Yoongi, the boy in his arms practically weighing nothing. He sat on the other couch against the wall and sat Yoongi on his lap, the older facing him and straddling his lap. Jimin wrapped the blanket around Yoongi, making sure to keep him warm.   
  
Yoongi still seemed to stir in his sleep, whether from a bad dream or not enough sleep, Jimin wasn't sure. He lightly pushed at the back of the blondes head, urging him to rest it on his shoulder. Jimin began whispering into Yoongi's ear, hoping to calm the older down. "You're so beautiful, Min Yoongi. We'll all take care of you, we won't let anything bad happen to you ever again. You don't need to worry, baby. We've got you."  
  
Yoongi seemed to calm down at the words, the tenseness in his shoulders relaxing and his shaking slowing down. He still seemed a little disturbed, so Jimin continued on.   
  
Jimin slipped his hands underneath Yoongi's shirt, grabbing onto his waist lightly and feeling the heated skin under his palms. "God, hyung. You are the most beautiful person I've ever seen. You're so gorgeous, so perfect. I can't believe I got lucky enough to know you." Jimin placed a soft kiss on Yoongi's neck for good measure, and any last bit of unease the older was feeling vanished.   
  
Yoongi moaned so quietly at the kiss that Jimin almost didn't hear it. _Almost_. Yoongi's entire body relaxed at the touches, not one ounce of uneasiness left in him.  
  
"Jimin?"  
  
The quiet voice scared him for a second before he realized it was Yoongi. He thought the blonde had fallen back asleep, but he must have woken up instead.   
  
"Hey Yoongi," Jimin whispered, running his fingers through the boys hair. "Go back to sleep. It's okay."  
  
Yoongi's hair was a little touseled from his sleep and his eyes squinty, still not fully awake from his nap, and Jimin thought it was a beautiful sight. "How'd I get here? I thought I fell asleep with Tae?"  
  
"You did," Jimin assured. "But you kept tossing and turning, so we moved you because you seemed a little uncomfortable."  
  
Yoongi hummed in acknowledgement but didn't respond. Instead, he just buried his face deeper into Jimin's neck, deeply inhaling the scent that was Park Jimin. He smelt like a mixture of cinnamon and vanilla, and Yoongi had to wonder if that's how the boy always smelt, or if it was from all the flavored alcohol last night still clinging to his body.   
  
Jimin ran his hand up and down Yoongi's back, loving the brush of their skin against each other. Yoongi seemed to melt into the touch, a satisfying sigh spilling from his lips at the contact.   
  
Yoongi arched his back when he felt Jimin begin to knead at a tense spot in his back, easing out the knot.   
  
Yoongi placed a hand on the back of Jimin's neck, gaining the youngers attention. "J-Jimin."  
  
"Hmm?" Jimin answered, his hands moving back around to grip at the olders hips. He looked up at Yoongi, seeing the blonde blissed out and a little out of it.   
  
"That feels really nice," he hummed, his fingers playing with the nape of Jimin's hair.   
  
"Yeah?" Jimin asked, smoothing his hands flat over Yoongi's back and rubbing at the skin gently.   
  
Yoongi cooed at the feeling of Jimin's warm hands on his own heated skin, closing his eyes pleasantly as he let the younger continue. The touches were keeping his mind off the bad thoughts, and they felt really good. Yoongi was never one to let people take care of him like this, he much rather preferred to stay by himself and not show his vulnerable side, but he had to admit, he liked being taken care of like this.   
  
Yoongi curled in closer to the younger and tucked his face back into Jimin's neck. The younger kept him warm, and every time he felt Yoongi's heart begin to race with panic, he'd whisper sweet nothings into the boys ear and hold him closer. Yoongi had never felt more at home.   
  
It was only when Jungkook announced that breakfast was ready did Yoongi move, but only in the slightest. He turned his head towards the brunette in the kitchen, watching as the youngest brought him a plate of food with a gentle smile on his face. "Rest up. If you need anything, just let me know. Please."  
  
Yoongi nodded slowly, assuring the boy that he'd ask for anything he needed. A small part of him hated being treated so fragile, like just because he was depressed he couldn't take care of him self, that he needed some sort of special treatment. The other half loved all the attention. He loved finally being taken care of and _loved_ by someone, so he let that part of his mind win.   
  
He ate slow, not feeling very hungry but knowing he needed to eat. Jimin noticed Yoongi playing around with his food, moving it from side to side on his plate before deciding not to take a bite of it.   
  
"Not very hungry?" Jimin asked, genuinely concerned. His eyebrows were knitted together and he looked over the older in his lap carefully.   
  
Yoongi felt small under the gaze and decided to look at his plate instead. "No, I... I don't eat breakfast much. Or I never really had before."  
  
Jimin glided his fingertips over Yoongi's jaw, cupping it in his hand softly. "Just eat what you can, then. And if you get hungry later, I'll make you something."  
  
Yoongi bit his lip, ignoring the commotion going on behind them as the other 4 boys piled out of the bedroom, grabbing their own plates of food and scattering around the living room. "Why..." Yoongi trailed off, not having enough energy in him to continue.   
  
"Why what?" Jimin asked, tucking a strand of hair behind the olders ear.   
  
Yoongi inhaled deeply then sighed, pushing out all the air from his lungs. "Why are you so nice to me? You just met me. Almost everyone here just met me, even Jungkook. He hasn't known me long, so I don't understand why everyone is so _nice_."   
  
Jimin dropped his hand from Yoongi's jaw, settling his hand on the side of Yoongi's thigh. He sighed quietly. "Believe it or not, we care about you. I know that's something you might not be use to, but we just want to help you."  
  
Yoongi's mouth fell open slightly, shock coating his features. "Do... Do you know?"  
  
Jimin bit his lip, hard enough to pull of a little bit of skin. He nodded so little, Yoongi almost didn't notice the movement.   
  
"Better than me having to retell it for the hundreth time, I guess," Yoongi huffed. He grabbed his plate and set it on the couch beside Jimin, officially deciding he was done with it.   
  
"I know you've had it rough, but you can trust us. None of us will ever, _ever_ hurt you."  
  
Yoongi grabbed onto the hem of his shirt, playing with the fabric before tugging it down to make sure his stomach wasn't exposed. "I don't want to get attached. I don't want to get my hopes up. Not again, Jimin."  
  
" _Baby_ ," Jimin's voice was low and deep, almost demanding. It sent a jolt through Yoongi's body, immediantly making the older look into Jimin's eyes, giving the younger his full attention. Jimin smirked at how easily Yoongi submitted to him. "None of us are going anywhere, trust me."  
  
A small whine left Yoongi's lips at Jimin's demanding voice. He looked back down into his lap, trying to hide how easily aroused he was just from the younger lowering his voice a few octaves.   
  
Jimin squeezed Yoongi's thigh reassuringly, his other hand coming up to cup at Yoongi's chin, pulling the blondes face closer to his own. A small peck is all Jimin gave him, but Yoongi hummed pleasantly at the feeling, eagerly returning the too short kiss.   
  
"Hey, no hanky panky on the couch! We all sit over there!" Jin shouted, pointing his fork in their direction.   
  
Jimin scuffed at the statement, continuing to rub soothingly at the olders thigh. "Like you and a certain someone in this room haven't fucked on this couch before."  
  
Yoongi turned his head just in time to see Jin's face redden at the words and Namjoon still mid-bite, slowly turning his head to look their way. "You know about that?" Namjoon asked, his mouth stuffed full of pancakes.   
  
"We all know about that. We were only in the next room and you weren't exactly _quiet_." Hoseok lost his composure in the background, his laugh filling the room.   
  
Jin's face reddened more, if that were even possible, and Namjoon went back to stuffing his face.   
  
"That's right, hyung, so leave us alone!" Jimin smirked.   
  
Jin turned his back to Jimin, mumbling something about being "so disrespectful to your elders, I swear" under his breath.   
  
Yoongi let out a quiet laugh before turning to face Jimin again. While he wasn't exactly in a good mood, he couldn't help but smile at them. They all loved each other so much that it made his own heart swell, desperately wanting to be apart of that someday.   
  
Jungkook made his way over to Taehyung, shaking him awake gently before handing him a plate of food and bringing one to Jimin as well.   
  
All the boys were scattered around the room, Yoongi and Jimin on the couch, Taehyung on the other. Jin was standing in the middle of the living room as he ate. Namjoon hunched over the kitchen table as he ate and Hoseok leaning against the sink. Jungkook made his way around the room, picking up plates that were empty and washing them off before eating his own plate.   
  
Yoongi hummed softly at the quiet sounds of his friends in the background before tucking his face into Jimin's neck, planting a soft kiss on the skin underneath his jaw.   
  
Jimin whimpered at the unexpected touch but welcomed it eagerly. He wrapped his arms around the olders waist and squeezed tightly, holding him as close as he could.   
  
"Thank you," Yoongi whispered before placing another kiss on his neck, this one a little lower.   
  
Jimin hummed softly before answering. "For what?"  
  
"Helping me, being here." Yoongi rubbed at Jimin's sides slowly, feeling the brush of fabric against his palms as he closed his eyes.   
  
"I'll always be here, we all will," Jimin assured him, turning his own head to place a kiss on Yoongi's cheek.   
  
Yoongi smiled, and the last thing he felt before he dozed off was Jimin's hand in his hair, rubbing at the scalp softly and playing with the strands of hair.   



	12. Ruined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! This chapter contains self harm and homophobia.

Yoongi woke up a few hours later after his nap, Jimin still sound asleep and curled into him. Their legs were intertwined together and Yoongi’s head was tucked into Jimin’s chest.   
  
Yoongi carefully smoothed down the boys hair, giving him a kiss ontop of his head.   
  
Jimin grunted, stirring below him.   
  
"Shh," Yoongi whispered. "It's okay, go back to sleep."  
  
Jimin tilted his head up, placing a soft kiss on Yoongi's neck, making the blonde smile at the gesture. “Hey,” he whispered, his voice hoarse.   
  
Yoongi gave a small smile in return. “Hey.”  
  
Jimin slowly sat up, adjusting Yoongi so he sat comfortably in his lap. “How’re you feeling?”  
  
Yoongi looked down, busying his hands in Jimin’s oversized t-shirt that he had slept in last night. He fidgeted around in his lap before settling down. “Fine,” he lied, his voice higher than usual, even to his own ears.  
  
Jimin eyed him cautiously before looking down to his shirt, watching Yoongi’s long fingers tangle in the fabric before bringing his eyes back up to the olders. “It’s okay if you’re not.”  
  
Yoongi inhaled sharply, biting his lip. “It’s just... it’s not a thing that goes away, you know? I can’t really help it.”  
  
Jimin cupped Yoongi’s face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs over the skin. “Hey, no, I understand. I just mean that if you need anything, literally _anything_ , I’m here for you.”  
  
Yoongi nodded slowly, looking away from Jimin’s intense gaze.  
  
“Are you hungry? We can go to dinner with Tae and Jungkook. I’m sure they’re starving too, if you’re up for it.” Jimin rubbed his hands up and down Yoongi’s sides, giving a small, reassuring smile.   
  
Yoongi nodded slowly, rolling off of Jimin’s lap to allow the younger to get up.   
  
Jimin stood with a smile. “I’ll grab Jungkook and Tae. Go get dressed and we’ll meet you back out here, yeah?”  
  
Yoongi did his best to muster up the nicest smile he could, watching slowly as Jimin walked away into the bedroom. Once the door to the bedroom closed, Yoongi grabbed his hoodie off the floor and ran towards the bathroom, locking the door. He pressed his back to the wood and let out a long, deep breath.   
  
It’s not that he wasn’t happy with his friends. They were all perfect and so supportive and Yoongi couldn’t be happier to know them. However, he wasn’t happy in _life_. A lot of times he felt way too many emotions at once or he felt numb all together. He didn’t want to worry anybody, especially poor Jimin. The guy was nothing but nice, loving, and caring towards him. He didn’t want to see a disappointed look on the youngers face if Yoongi told him that no, he wasn’t doing any better than he was earlier today.   
  
Yoongi slowly stepped forward, opening up the medicine cabinet and rummaging around. He eventually found a utility blade, picking it up slowly and turning it around in his fingers. He bit his lip roughly, he knew he would cave, he just didn’t know how he would hide it. _Fuck it_ , he thought, he’d figure it out later.   
  
He gently ran his fingertips over a few scars on his arm before creating some more. As soon as he felt the sharp sting of the blade on his skin and seen the blood, he felt 10x better.   
  
He knew that wasn’t normal. He knew that this wasn’t how normal people dealt with their problems, and he knew that he shouldn’t feel better by doing this, but he did. He was sure someone was bound to see them at some point and he’d have to see their upset faces and he knew at that point he’d probably regret it, but he didn’t now.   
  
He kept going and going until he felt like it was enough, and at some point he started sobbing. He wasn’t sure when, but he knew he must have been crying for awhile from how wet his face was.   
  
He hid the blade somewhere under the sink for later and ran his arm under water, hissing at the sting. He carefully washed off the excess blood and grabbed some toilet paper, pressing down on the wounds to stop the bleeding.   
  
He briefly wondered if some of them were deep enough to need stitches from how badly they were bleeding before a knock on the door made him jump.   
  
“Hey, almost done?”   
  
Yoongi recognized it as Jungkook’s voice and his eyes quickly darted to the door, sighing in relief when he realized it was locked. “Yeah, be out in a minute.”  
  
He heard footsteps disappearing into the hallway before he looked into the mirror. His face was soaked and his eyes were puffy. Even though he’d just woken up he looked like he hadn’t slept well in months, he looked pale, dark circles around his eyes, and he had to force himself to look away before it gave him more reasons to hate himself.   
  
Once he realized he was done bleeding, he threw the toilet paper into the toilet and flushed it away before pulling on his hoodie, hissing at the way the fabric rubbed against his wounds. He used his sleeves to wipe away the rest of his tears before he made his way back into the living room.   
  
Jungkook was sitting on the couch, wearing regular denim ripped jeans and a black shirt with a grey beanie, and even dressed so casually it made his heart skip a few beats.  
  
Yoongi looked at Jimin, examing him. He wore a black sweatshirt, black jeans, black framed glasses and a red beanie. Yoongi had to admit that even though he was dressed in black, he somehow still looked like an angel.   
  
Taehyung almost punched the air out of his lungs, wearing a grey v-neck with a studded black leather jacket and black ripped jeans. He looked at all three of them and sighed. He just wore light denim jeans and a black pullover hoodie, wondering how someone as beautiful as all of them would even give him a second glance.   
  
Jimin stepped forward, grabbing onto his hand as they all walked outside, enjoying the fresh air. It was slightly chilly, but nothing they couldn't handle. It was actually refreshing to be outside since they'd been couped up the past few days.   
  
"Where do you want to eat?" Yoongi asked as they hit the street with all the main foodchains.   
  
"I was thinking Tavolo 24," Taehyung said, pointing to a building with his free hand.   
  
Yoongi nodded, heading towards the building. As they walked in, they were seated at a four person booth. Jimin and Jungkook sat on one side, Taehyung and Yoongi on the other. Taehyung was in the bathroom as the rest of them looked over the menu.   
  
"That looks amazing," Jungkook said to Jimin, pointing at a picture to help the boy pick out something to eat.   
  
"Do you know what you want?" Yoongi asked, looking at Jungkook.   
  
"Yeah, I was going to get-"   
  
"Min Yoongi?" A voice interupted their conversation, a womans.   
  
Yoongi tensed up instantly, recognizing the voice. He looked beside him, as did Jungkook and Jimin, and they looked the girl over.   
  
"How have you been?" She asked, slightly nervous.   
  
Yoongi reached for Jungkook's hand for comfort, and the boy squeezed it back for reassurance. That's when Jungkook realized who was standing in front of them, it was Yoongi's ex girlfriend.   
  
"Holy shit," Jungkook mumbled to himself.   
  
"I've been fine," Yoongi spat, not paying the girl anymore attention.   
  
"I realize you're not happy with me-"  
  
"You never cared about me and you treated me like shit, Suran," Yoongi said, anger boiling up inside him. "So don't come around acting like you missed me and you're the innocent one in all this."  
  
Jungkook squeezed Yoongi's hand, urging him to calm down. Jungkook had heard the stories about her and didn't like her at all either, but making a scene inside a restaurant wouldn't do anyone any good.   
  
Jimin stared at her in confusion. "Who is this?" He asked, sensing the tension between them.   
  
She smiled brightly, extending her hand to him. "My names Suran, I'm Yoongi's first love."  
  
Jimin's mouth dropped open slightly, now understanding. "I'm J-Jimin," he mumbled, quickly pulling his hand away.  
  
"Ex," Yoongi clarified. "You're my ex. That's it. What we had wasn’t love."  
  
"But I miss you," she whispered, almost too low to hear. "I want to make things right between us."  
  
"Too late," Yoongi said, calm this time as he looked over the menu. "Meet my boyfriends.”  
  
Her eyes widened, her mouth falling open slightly. "Your what?"  
  
"You heard me, Suran. My boyfriends, two of them, at least." Yoongi smirked, turning towards the girl, "I'm sure you remember Taehyung. He's the other one."  
  
And Suran did remember Taehyung, she remembered him well. During one of their breakups she tried to get with Taehyung, but Taehyung wasn't having any of that. He was Yoongi's best friend and Taehyung hated her more than Yoongi ever could.   
  
"And Jimin?" She said, her eyes looking over to the boy, suddenly less happy than before. "Is he your boyfriend too?"  
  
Yoongi looked to Jimin as well, a smile on his face. "Boyfriends implies multiple people, so yeah."  
  
Jimin smiled, his cheeks turning slightly red as he looked down into his lap, trying to hide his blush. He knew that none of them actually had any sort of labels, he knew that him and Yoongi weren’t much of anything, but if it helped Yoongi in any way to call him his boyfriend, Jimin didn’t mind.  
  
"I don't believe you," Suran said. "There's no way you turned gay," she said, hate lacing her voice.   
  
"Yoongi, maybe we should just go," Jungkook whispered, but Yoongi wasn't backing down, not from someone who ruined his life and was now insulting the people closest to him.   
  
Taehyung came back from the bathroom, barely even noticing the girl. He slid into the booth, assuming that she was the waitress. Before he could even grab the menu, Yoongi's lips were on his, kissing him feverishly. Yoongi made sure to make it steamy so Suran knew he wasn't faking. There was lip biting and tongue involved, and when Yoongi pulled away, his lips were swollen.   
  
Yoongi licked his lips, savoring the taste of Taehyung. He looked back at her with a smile. "So as you can see, yeah, I am gay. So you can leave now, because I don't want anything to do with you ever again." He winked, knowing damn well she was jealous of the position he was in, and probably a little pissed off.  
  
"Taehyung, is this true?" Suran asked.   
  
Taehyung blinked a few times, his head still spinning from the kiss. He turned to look at the girl and instantly his body tensed up. "What the fuck is she doing here?" He stood up, looking down at the girl.   
  
"Tae, don't," Jungkook said, standing up quickly and pushing the boy back.   
  
"You know what she did to Yoongi!" Tae shouted angrily, balling his fists.   
  
"Of course I know, but doing this inside of a busy restaurant won't solve anything," Jungkook assured, grabbing Taehyungs hands to calm him down.   
  
"You're the other boyfriend?" Suran asked disgustedly.   
  
"Yes, I am. And I think you need to leave," Jungkook said, calmly pushing Taehyung behind him.   
  
Suran walked closer to Jungkook, reaching her hand out with a smirk on her face. "If you ever want some real fun..."  
  
Yoongi stood up, grabbing her wrist roughly and pulling her away from Jungkook and Tae. "Listen bitch," he said lowly, angry that she was bringing all of them into this. "Never attempt to lay your hands on them."  
  
"Why not share with me, Yoongi? I'm sure your boyfriends would like me," Suran said smiling.   
  
"You can act homophobic towards me. Frankly, I don't give a fuck what you think. But you are not going to act like Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung are anything less than they are because they're with me. And you certainly aren't going to flirt with them, they wouldn’t want a whore like you anyways." Yoongi said distastefully, letting go of her wrist.   
  
Suran rolled her eyes. "I just don't see how you could have this and end up with them."  
  
Yoongi smirked calmly. "They are so much better than you'll ever be in every way. Plus, the sex is so much better.”  
  
Suran scoffed and walked out of the restaurant.   
  
Yoongi turned around facing Jungkook and Taehyung. Both boys rushed forward, Taehyung placing his hands on Yoongi's neck, rubbing the skin tenderly. Yoongi seemed calm but it was obvious he was angry inside. "Calm down Yoongi. Let's just get out of here."  
  
Yoongi squeezed his fists together, trying to hold back his anger. "She tried to come onto both of you, and Jimin! I should have ripped her head off."  
  
Jungkook hugged him and Yoongi relaxed into his arms. "You dont have to worry about her coming onto us. We just want you."  
  
Jimin stood up from his seat, making his way to Yoongi. He cupped the blondes face and smiled softly.   
  
"She ruins everything for me," Yoongi whispered. His eyes watered so much tears threatened to fall. "I don't want her to take this from me. I don't want her to take all of you."  
  
"Oh, Yoongi," Jimin whispered, his heart ripping apart at the words. "She won't take anyone from you. I promise."  
  
Yoongi looked towards Taehyung, the one who understood more than anyone else the kind of damage that girl had done to him before. Taehyung watched Yoongi rip himself apart to try and please Suran while she just tore him apart even more for fun.   
  
Taehyung grabbed Jungkook's hand, pulling him forward. All three of them tightly wrapped their arms around Yoongi, holding him close.   
  
Yoongi wrapped his arms around Jungkook, Tae and Jimin, instantly calming down. He took a few deep breaths and blinked his tears away, sitting back down. "We're already here. We should stay, I'll be fine."  
  
Taehyung looked at Yoongi, questioning his choice. He sat beside the blonde and grabbed his hand gently. "It's okay if we leave, Yoongi. No one here would mind."  
  
"No, it's okay," Yoongi said, faking a smile. "We came here to have a good time, and we're going to. I'm not going to let her ruin this for me."  
  
Jungkook and Jimin sat down, looking at Yoongi with concern. "We'll do whatever you want," Jungkook assured. "I just want to make sure you're alright."  
  
"I will be," Yoongi said, looking fondly at everyone in the booth. "As long as you're all with me, everything will be fine."  
  
Everyone smiled back at the blonde. They grabbed their menus, looking them over once more. The waitress came, getting their drinks and taking their orders. Yoongi and Jimin both decided on ramyeon, while Jungkook and Tae chose kimbap.   
  
Yoongi placed his hand on Taehyung's thigh, catching the boys attention. Yoongi smiled softly. "Do you want to come outside with me for a minute?"  
  
Taehyung nodded, stepping out of the booth. Yoongi followed, grabbing his hand and heading towards the door. Yoongi placed his back against the brick wall and reached into his hoodie pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and a black lighter.   
  
Taehyung placed his back against the wall as well, looking over at the blonde as he lit a cigarette. "What's going on? You only smoke when you're stressed or worried about something."  
  
Yoongi inhaled, breathing out a puff of smoke. He looked towards Taehyung, almost baffled. "You remember that?"  
  
"Of course I do," Taehyung stated, "I knew everything about you back then. I'm sure nothing's changed." He reached his hands in his pocket, lifting his leg up and pressing his foot against the wall. "So what is it?"  
  
Yoongi looked down, messing with the filter in his cigarette. His hands shook slightly and he inhaled the cigarette again, instantly calming down.   
  
Taehyung stepped forward. He placed his hand on the back of Yoongi's neck, rubbing the skin softly. "You can talk to me, you know that."  
  
Yoongi looked up, his eyes meeting Taehyung's. Those brown orbs calmed his nerves and he took a deep breath. "I need to tell you something."  
  
Taehyung kept his hand on the back of Yoongi's neck, continuing to rub the skin soothingly. "Okay," he stated, slightly confused.   
  
"I love you," Yoongi breathed out.   
  
Taehyung smiled. "I love you too, Yoongi."  
  
"No, Tae, I don't think you get it. I'm in love with you," he whispered. He took another deep breath, somehow feeling like he was being deprived of oxygen. The look Yoongi saw in Taehyung's eyes only scared him more.   
  
Taehyung removed his hand from Yoongi's neck, the blonde immediantly missing the warmth it provided. He looked down at Yoongi, not saying a word.   
  
"Please say something," Yoongi begged, his heart beginning to feel like it was being ripped out of his chest.   
  
Taehyung parted his lips but nothing came out. Instead, he rushed forward, cupping Yoongi's face in his hands and kissing him roughly.   
  
Yoongi almost dropped his cigarette out of surprise but immediantly returned the kiss. His free hand grabbed onto Taehyung shirt, gripping it and holding him close.   
  
Taehyung kissed Yoongi like it was his last day living. It was filled with so much passion and so much care that it made both boys dizzy.   
  
"I'm... in love... with you... too," Taehyung whispered, the words barely audible from Taehyung's needy kisses. The pink haired boy refused to remove his lips from Yoongi's to speak, making every word hard to hear.   
  
Yoongi let go of his cigarette, no longer caring about it. He grabbed Taehyung's waist and pulled him tight against his body.   
  
Taehyung maneuvered himself to press Yoongi against the wall, the blonde letting out a quiet moan at the action.   
  
Taehyung pulled his lips away but kept them close, breathing heavily. "I've waited so long for you to tell me that," Taehyung whispered.  
  
"I-I thought you would reject me," Yoongi said, pressing his forehead against Tae's as he closed his eyes.   
  
"I've been in love with you since we were 8 years old. That never stopped," Taehyung assured him, planting quick kisses on the blondes lips.   
  
"I had no idea," Yoongi whispered, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips. "But I'm glad I know now."  
  
"Me too," Taehyung said, wrapping his arms tightly around Yoongi. "I'm so glad I get to be with you now."  
  
Yoongi smiled brightly, glad to finally have the weight of the confession off his chest. They were nose to nose when they heard the door open, both turning their heads to see who it was.   
  
Jimin stood there smiling as he looked them over. "Okay, lovebirds. Come on, the foods here."  
  
Taehyung and Yoongi reluctantly pulled away with a blush. They held hands as the three of them walked back into the restaurant, taking their seats in the booth.   
  
"Took you fucking long enough," Jungkook said with a smirk.   
  
"Yeah yeah," Yoongi said, digging into his ramyeon.   
  
They ate quickly, all of them starving after their long night of drinking. Taehyung was the first to finish, basically stuffing it down like he hadn't eaten in days. Jimin paid for everyone's meal and all four boys went outside, breathing in the fresh air.   
  
"I've gotta get to work," Taehyung said, his hands in his pockets.   
  
"And I have to study for an exam," Jungkook told them. "You guys can stay, I'll just be busy for a few hours."  
  
"I should get back to my apartment, clean up and get some stuff in order," Yoongi stated.   
  
Jungkook gave Yoongi a soft smile. "Okay. You can come back anytime, or I can come over there once I'm done."  
  
"I'd like that," Yoongi said. He stepped forward, capturing both Jungkook and Taehyung in a big hug. "I'll text you and Tae the address. You can come over whenever you want."  
  
Jungkook kissed Yoongi, just a small peck before speaking. "Alright. I've gotta get going, I'll call you when I'm done."  
  
"Good luck," Yoongi said with a smile.   
  
Jungkook gave Taehyung a quick kiss before heading off down the street. Yoongi turned to the pink haired boy and gave him a soft peck as well. "You shouldn't be late for work."  
  
"I know," Taehyung said. He wrapped Yoongi in a tight hug and smiled. "I'll text you whenever works not busy. I love you."  
  
"I love you too," Yoongi said, watching as Taehyung walked away, just leaving him and Jimin.   
  
"Do you want to hang out at my apartment?" Yoongi asked, turning his attention towards Jimin.   
  
Jimin smiled brightly. "Yeah, I don't have anywhere to be."


	13. Killing Myself Slowly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! PLEASE READ THIS. 
> 
> There’s a lot of things in this chapter that might be triggering for some people. 
> 
> Someone has a panic attack, there’s mentions of eating disorders, talk of self harm and suicide, and what some people could consider a form of self harm. Please don’t read it if you think it’ll be triggering for you.

Yoongi and Jimin decided to catch the bus to head back to Yoongi’s apartment. It wasn’t very far away, probably a 20 minute drive and a 40 minute bus ride, but neither had anywhere important that they needed to be, so they took their time.

 

By some luck of fate, they managed to grab two seats beside each other on the bus in the back, secluded from the crowd of people hanging onto the handles for the ride.

 

Yoongi rested his head on Jimin’s shoulder, waiting for the bus to take off.

 

Jimin smiled and kissed the top of Yoongi’s head, wrapping one arm around the older. “Are you tired?”

 

Yoongi shrugged then nuzzled his face closer to Jimin’s neck, sighing contently. “I haven’t slept great lately, but I’m always exhausted too, so that doesn’t help.”

 

Jimin hummed in acknowledgement, running his fingers through Yoongi’s hair and scratching at the scalp. “You can rest until we get to our stop, if you want. Then when we get to your apartment I can get you tucked in so you can sleep for a little bit?”

 

Yoongi shook his head, almost a little petulantly. “I want to hang out with you, I don’t want to sleep.”

 

Jimin let out a small laugh and fondly shook his head. “Alright then, at least rest until we get to your stop.”

 

Yoongi hummed in agreement and looped his arm through Jimin’s, hissing as quiet as he could when his hoodie rubbed against his wounds.

 

Jimin furrowed his eyebrows before resting his chin on top of Yoongi’s head, his free hand reaching out to lace his fingers with Yoongi’s. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah,” Yoongi whispered quietly, pecking his lips over Jimin’s pulse. “Just twisted the wrong way, that’s all.”

 

Jimin stayed silent, just nuzzled his cheek against the top of Yoongi’s head.

 

As the bus took off, both of them stayed comfortably silent. They just breathed each other in. Jimin looked out at the scenery while Yoongi kept his face tucked into the youngers neck, eyes closed, as he slowly drifted off.

 

What felt like only a few seconds later, Yoongi was being shaken gently, and he could vaguely hear Jimin whispering to him.

 

“— ngi? _Yoongi_. You gotta wake up.”

 

Yoongi groaned and shook his head, keeping his face tucked into the warmth of Jimin’s neck.

 

The younger laughed softly before he pulled himself away from Yoongi, making the older whimper sadly. “I’m sorry, baby, but we’re almost there.”

 

Yoongi pouted, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks prettily as he tried to adjust to the light again. He balled up one of his fists and rubbed it over his eyes.

 

Yoongi felt a warm hand cup his cheek as he rubbed at his eyes. “So pretty, baby.”

 

Yoongi’s breath hitched and then he whimpered, slowly pulling his hand away to blink his eyes open.

 

Jimin stared at him fondly, eyes searching over the olders face in awe. It made Yoongi feel small and submissive in the best way, so he kept his eyes locked onto Jimin’s, refusing to look away.

 

“I–I’m—“

 

Yoongi’s words died in his throat when Jimin’s warm lips pressed against his own. The older groaned pleasantly, balling the fabric of the youngers shirt into his fist and holding on tight.

 

The kiss was soft and slow, but it made Yoongi’s toes curl. He could tell Jimin was holding back so much since they were in public, he could tell by the way Jimin explored and moved his lips against Yoongi’s that the younger wanted something much, _much_ more passionate and rough.

 

When Jimin pulled away, Yoongi could see that his lips were plump and slightly red, but his eyes, they were darker. Not only in color, but in his soul as well. Something had changed inside Jimin, something more dominant peeking through his blown pupils, and Yoongi couldn’t stop the whine that tore from his throat.

 

Jimin brushed his thumb over Yoongi’s jawline before tearing his eyes away and nodding towards the front of the bus. “Come on, they’re almost at your stop.”

 

Yoongi’s still in a bit of a daze when Jimin stands up and grabs his hand to pull him to the front of the bus through a crowd of people.

 

Jimin stands behind Yoongi protectively, chest to the olders back and arms wrapped around his waist to keep people from bumping into Yoongi or attempting to grope the older.

 

Yoongi shivers at the possessive action and leans back further into Jimin’s arms. He can feel Jimin smirking, his lips right beside Yoongi’s ear.

 

Jimin slips his fingers underneath Yoongi’s hoodie to rest them on top of the skin of his hips.

 

Yoongi lets his eyes flutter closed as his breath hitches, Jimin’s fingers on his skin sending chills through his whole body.

 

Jimin lets his lips skim over the shell of Yoongi’s ear. “You’re really submissive, aren’t you?”

 

Yoongi whimpers, squeezing his eyes shut tighter with a slight nod. “S–Sometimes.”

 

“Yeah?” Jimin smirks, brushing his nose over the skin behind Yoongi’s ear. “What do you like better? Being submissive or dominant?”

 

When Yoongi feels Jimin’s grip on his waist tighten, he can’t stop the soft moan that leaves his lips. He’s just glad the bus is loud and crowded. “Submissive,” Yoongi whispers. “I–I like being submissive more.”

 

Jimin hums. “So does that mean you like bottoming more? Getting fucked instead of fucking?”

 

Yoongi bites down on his lip to stop the whine that tries to leave his mouth and nods.

 

“Good. Because I want to ruin you.” Jimin nips at his neck before pulling his mouth and hands away, standing back in his original position behind the older.

 

Yoongi wiggles his hips a little petulantly, almost like he’s ready to throw a tantrum, then he gasps when he can feel that Jimin’s half hard. He’s never been so glad to look through the windshield and see their stop ahead.

 

They’re the first to get off at the stop, a few people trailing behind them, and even though they’re away from the crowded bus and into the open space, Jimin still stands behind Yoongi, tucked up against him and still holding onto his waist.

 

It’s cute, really. To anyone passing by, they would think that Jimin and Yoongi are just a couple in love, with Jimin’s face tucked into Yoongi’s neck and his chest pressed to his back, arms wrapped around the older tightly.

 

And in a way, they’d be right.

 

Jimin loves Yoongi, and Yoongi loves Jimin. Maybe it’s too early into knowing each other to say they’re in love, but Yoongi knows soon enough he will be. He lived 25 years without knowing Jimin, but now that he does, he can never imagine his life without him.

 

Yoongi shuffles around in Jimin’s grip to face the younger. His eyes are still dark and dilated, but they seem like they’ve cleared a little. Jimin’s still kind of hard, but not enough for anyone to notice unless they _really_ looked.

 

Yoongi smiles and reaches up, pressing his index finger against the middle of Jimin’s glasses and pushing them back up the bridge of his nose. He catches sight of Jimin smiling before he reconnects their lips, this time even softer than before.

 

It’s just a gentle kiss, a slow movement of their lips together, but Yoongi smiles back into the kiss.

 

Once he feels Jimin’s grip on his waist loosen a little, he smirks and pulls back. He snatches Jimin’s beanie and runs down the sidewalk towards his apartment, situating the beanie on himself before turning to look back at Jimin as he laughs.

 

“Hey!” Jimin shouts, laughing as he chases after Yoongi.

 

It’s clear that Jimin can easily catch up to Yoongi. He’s a lot more fit, works out more often and has _amazing_ thigh muscles, but it makes Yoongi laugh as he turns back forward and keeps running. It genuinely makes him smile in a way he feels like he hasn’t done in a long time.

 

Yoongi rounds a corner, feeling Jimin gaining on him. He had the advantage of stunning Jimin for a second before the younger caught on, but his legs definitely don’t carry him nearly as fast as Jimin’s do.

 

He can hear Jimin behind him by a few feet, his apartment building just coming into view. He pushes his legs to run faster as he holds onto the beanie on top of his head with a giggle.

 

Right before he can make it into the parking lot of his apartment complex, he can feel Jimin grip onto him tightly and pull him into an alley beside the building.

 

Yoongi yelps in surprise at the sudden movement. Before he can focus on what’s really happening, Yoongi can feel Jimin’s hands tightly on his hips as he shoves him against the brick wall, caging him in.

 

Yoongi tilts his head back against the wall, exposing the collum of his throat as he pants heavily, a smirk tugging at his lips. He can feel Jimin’s teeth sink into his neck before kissing over the spot soothingly.

 

Yoongi’s breath hitches and he lets his eyes flutter closed pleasantly.

 

Something close to a snarl leaves Jimin’s lips as he continues nipping at Yoongi’s throat. “You think you’re funny, don’t you?”

 

Yoongi lets out a pleased sigh as he tilts his head further to the side, giving Jimin as much access to the skin as he can. “I think I’m pretty funny, yeah.”

 

Jimin’s hands grip tighter at his hips at the response. “It won’t be so funny anymore when you’re tied to your bed begging me to let you cum, will it?”

 

Yoongi’s whole body shivers and he rolls his hips forward, moaning quietly when his erection brushes against Jimin’s. “Fuck, please. I want that.”

 

“You want that, huh?” Jimin growls, bringing his lips up to Yoongi’s ear. “Only good boys get to cum. You’d be lucky if I even fucked you.”

 

Yoongi whines so loud he’s worried people on the street might have heard him. He reaches forward and grips onto Jimin’s shirt, tugging softly. “Please, just —“ He inhales sharply when Jimin sinks his teeth back into his neck, and he lets out a shaky breath. “Please just fuck me. I don’t care if you edged me for hours. I’ll take it if it means getting you to put your cock inside of me.”

 

Jimin groans and brings his lips up to Yoongi’s jaw, nipping at it before kissing down the sharp curve. “You’re just a slut, aren’t you? You’d do anything to get fucked.”

 

“N–No,” Yoongi whimpers, gripping on tighter to Jimin’s shirt. “I’m a good boy. I–I’ll do anything or take anything to be good for you.”

 

Jimin coos, pulling back far enough to run his knuckles down Yoongi’s cheek, making the older open his eyes slowly. “Such a good boy. But we have to talk about do’s and don’t’s and a safe word before all of that, okay?”

 

Yoongi groans and shakes his head.

 

“Yeah, baby. We gotta,” Jimin whispers. He cups Yoongi’s chin and pulls it down to look the older in the eyes. “I don’t want to do anything to hurt you or upset you if it’s not something you like.”

 

Yoongi looks into Jimin’s eyes and he can see how serious and sincere he is, so he nods slowly.

 

Jimin steps back and wraps his hand around Yoongi’s, the one still gripping at his shirt, and tilts his head towards the building with a jerk. “Come on. Show me to your apartment and we’ll talk.”

 

Yoongi threads his fingers through Jimin’s as an answer and walks towards his apartment building, pulling Jimin behind him.

 

They walk up to the third floor, hands still twined together as they stand outside apartment number 315. Yoongi digs in his back pocket with his free hand, pulling out his keys and twirling through them until he finds the right one.

 

Yoongi inserts the key and turns it, slowly opening the door and pulling Jimin in with him. Once he closes the door again, he finally lets go of Jimin’s hand to walk towards the kitchen.

 

It’s a beautiful apartment, really. Nothing huge and extravagant, but extremely homey.

 

Right past the front door is the open kitchen on the left, and the living room on the right. Straight ahead is a hallway with what looks to be a bathroom on the left and two bedrooms on the right. It’s extremely clean, the kitchen counter black and white marble with barstools on every side, the fridge a light silver that fits perfectly with the rest of the kitchen.

 

The living room is set up with the tv back against the wall on top of a black glass stand, a black suede couch in front of it. A coffee table the same color as the tv stand sits in front of it, and in the corner is a black bookcase, stacked completely full.

 

Jimin’s a little in awe as he looks around. His own apartment is nice as well, if not nicer, but it’s so modern and comfortable that he instantly feels at home.

 

Yoongi is digging around in the fridge before he looks up and turns back to Jimin, smiling fondly. “Like it?”

 

“Yeah,” Jimin breathes out. “It’s... It feels like home.”

 

Yoongi smiles even brighter, gums on display. “I’m glad you like it. Do you want something to drink?”

 

“Water’s fine,” Jimin says, taking his shoes off by the door and walking forward to sit on the couch. He watches as Yoongi heads towards the couch, two bottles of water in hand.

 

Yoongi sets one down on the coffee table and hands the other to Jimin. He takes a seat beside the younger, snuggling into his side and throwing a blanket over top of them.

 

Once Jimin’s drank about half of his water, he sets it on the table then wraps his arms around Yoongi. “So, I just need you to tell me things you like and things you don’t. A safe word too, so if something’s wrong, you have an immediate out.”

 

Yoongi hums in thought. “I like a lot of things. Overstimulation, choking, slapping my ass, face, or cock, everywhere really. I like rimming and blowjobs and riding people. I like being gagged and restrained, I like being edged, I like cock rings, I like toys, hair pulling, manhandling, throat fucking, being praised, dirty talk, degradation, hickies, pretty much everything. I’m not okay with feet stuff, blood play, or water sports. I usually use the color system as a safe word and if I’m gagged, I snap my fingers three times to stop.”

 

“Got it,” Jimin says, planting a kiss on top of Yoongi’s head. “Do you fall into a deep subspace?”

 

Yoongi nods slowly. “Yeah. Whenever someone’s being really dominant, it makes me go into subspace really quick. I usually need a lot of after care when it’s something really intense. You know, like, if I’m being degraded I need reassured afterwards that that isn’t actually how you see me or feel about me, stuff like that. If I don’t get the after care I need, I have what people call a drop. Basically it’s when people get really deep into subspace and don’t get the after care they need and they don’t have anyone to ease them back into reality. It makes people break down or have panic attacks because they believe what was said or whatever happened during sex was how those people see them in real life, a slut, a whore, being useless or being hit, they don’t get the reassurance they need to calm them down when it’s over.”

 

“I would never do that to you,” Jimin whispers, wrapping his arms tighter around the older. “I could never do that to anyone. That’s horrible. I always give top notch aftercare, promise.”

 

Yoongi looks up at Jimin with a smile. “I believe you, Jiminie.”

 

It’s sweet for a moment as they look into each other’s eyes, but then Jimin’s smile drops instantly when a thought hits him. “You’ve dropped before?”

 

Yoongi’s smile falters a little as he pulls his eyes away from Jimin, looking ahead to stare at the blank tv. “A few times, yeah.”

 

Jimin’s arms around him tighten unconsciously and he leans forward to plant a kiss on Yoongi’s cheek.

 

He wanted to fuck Yoongi. He wanted to fuck Yoongi hard and make him cry, that’s the whole reason they’re sitting on this couch right now, to talk about what’s okay and what’s not. But Jimin’s not sure if he could do anything to harm Yoongi right now, consensually or not. Looking at the blonde staring off into the blank tv screen, he thinks that right now, he probably couldn’t do anything other than kiss him, love him, and be gentle with him.

 

Jimin reaches up and pulls his own beanie off of Yoongi’s head, tossing it aside. He shakes Yoongi’s hair out a little before gripping at the olders hips and pulling him onto his lap, making Yoongi straddle him.

 

He reaches up and pushes a few pieces of hair out of the blondes eyes before speaking. “Have you ever just...” Jimin trails off and furrows his eyebrows, trying to think of the correct words to say. “Has anyone ever just made love to you, not just fucked you? Has anyone ever been slow and gentle with you instead of rough and quick?”

 

Yoongi blinked a few times as he thought it over. “I wouldn’t say anybody’s ever made love to me. I’ve had gentle but not... not real love.”

 

Jimin leaned forward and kissed Yoongi softly, reaching up to run his thumb over the blondes jawline before grabbing onto his chin and pulling back, making Yoongi look at him. “Do you want that? Do you want me to show you what’s it’s like for someone to make love to you instead of just fucking you?”

 

Yoongi bit his lip softly and looked down, Jimin’s gaze on him feeling too intense and intimate. “I don’t think I deserve that with anybody. I deserve to be hit and talked down to, but not... not for somebody to make love to me.”

 

Jimin furrowed his eyebrows and carefully dropped his hand from Yoongi’s chin. “Is that what you think? That when people are rough and mean to you that it’s what you deserve?”

 

Yoongi shrugged and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep himself from crying. “Most of the time.”

 

“Baby,” Jimin whispered softly.

 

Yoongi could hear the pain in Jimin’s voice, how it wavered and shook as he tried to keep his emotions at bay.

 

The pain in the youngers voice was enough to send a pang of guilt through Yoongi’s chest. He reached up to clutch onto his own chest and hiccuped softly, tears running down his cheek as he looked into his lap. He could feel himself start to panic and his heart race a little faster, his breaths coming in quicker. He could almost hear the disappointment in Jimin’s voice and it only made him worry more.

 

The pain was enough to want to push Jimin away, to want to flee because there’s no way someone like Jimin, someone like Jungkook, Tae, Namjoon, Jin, or Hoseok would ever love him. There was no way anyone could love him.

 

Without a second thought, Yoongi muttered out a quiet, “I’m sorry,” and jumped off of Jimin’s lap, running to the bathroom and locking the door behind him as tears started pouring down his face.

 

He could feel Jimin’s fingers against his hand as he was running off, like Jimin went to grab him but was just too far out of reach, and it only makes Yoongi feel worse.

 

It was like Yoongi had told Jungkook on the first day they met, he would always push them away.

 

He sat in the bathtub, his knees pulled up to his chest as he pushed his sleeves up, running his thumb over the wounds on both his arms, pressing down to feel a jolt of pain.

 

He could hear Jimin running towards the bathroom and it only made him cry harder. He rested his forehead on his knees and wrapped his arms around his legs, trying to make himself as little as possible.

 

He could hear Jimin bang on the door, but it sounded so far away in his mind. It was like quiet background noise as he sobbed, his whole body shaking.

 

“Yoongi? Yoongi? I’m sorry. Please let me in. I’m so sorry if I said something wrong,” Jimin whispered.

 

Yoongi could hear that Jimin was either choked up or crying, and he ran his hand through his hair and yanked frustratedly. It just kept getting worse and worse. He made Jimin feel like it was his fault, that he’d done something wrong to upset Yoongi when it was actually the opposite. Jimin wanted to make him feel so loved in a way he never had before, but he just didn’t feel like he deserved.

 

The banging persisted, and Yoongi vaguely registered in his head that Jimin might be worried about the fact that he could be trying to kill himself right now.

 

Jimin had known how him and Jungkook met not that long ago, so he had a right to be worried that Yoongi could be trying to hurt himself in more ways than one.

 

“Yoongi, please. Let me in.”

 

Yoongi rubbed at his eyes harshly with the palms of his hand and inhaled shakily. At the very least he needed to let Jimin know that he wasn’t in here hurting himself. “P–Please go away.”

 

The banging stopped, and Yoongi could faintly here Jimin sniffle from the other side of the door, then he heard footsteps going away from the bathroom.

 

The little self control Yoongi had snapped and he started bawling again. Of course Jimin would leave him, everyone always did. He knew he was being ridiculous, he told Jimin to go and the younger listened, but really he wanted nothing more than for the raven haired boy to stay and hold him.

 

He pressed down on the wounds again, wanting to feel pain without actually harming himself. He hissed and balled his fist up. It wasn’t enough, he needed something stronger to make him stop feeling so emotionally broken.

 

He lifted his head up and clenched his fist tighter and threw a punch to the wall. And then another, and another, and another. He pulled his hand back and cradled it with his left hand, looking at the blood and wounds on his knuckles that were already red and angry looking.

 

He sobbed harder, and then he heard something jingling in the doorknob and turning. He furrowed his eyebrows as a whimper left his lips from trying to hold back another sob, and he looked towards the door.

 

A few more twists and turns of the knob and the door flung open, Jimin standing in the doorway with his hand on the knob, looking at Yoongi with sad eyes and dried tears on his cheeks.

 

Yoongi could see Jimin’s eyes first lock onto his bloody hand, then slowly trail up and down the fresh wounds from earlier on his arms, and Yoongi squeezed his eyes shut and tilted his head down.

 

Jimin walked over to the bathtub slowly, kneeling down and running his hand up and down the olders back. “I’m sorry. I never left, I just needed to find something to pick the lock.”

 

Yoongi didn’t respond, just cried harder and squeezed his eyes shut impossibly tighter. He couldn’t look at Jimin, couldn’t see the disappointed look on his face or the pity that was probably there. All he did was make everyone’s lives harder, and Jimin was such a good person, he didn’t deserve for Yoongi to drag him down like this.

 

“G–Go,” Yoongi whispered, choking on the words before trying again. “G–Go away.”

 

“No,” Jimin answered, continuing to run his hand over the olders back.

 

His voice didn’t sound disappointed or angry. If anything, Yoongi thought it just sounded a little sad at seeing him like this, so he cautiously opened his eyes. He blinked rapidly a few times, trying to see through the tears, and then he turned his head to look at Jimin.

 

Jimin tried his best to give him a small smile, but it just looked sad instead. He looked into Yoongi’s eyes, strong but gentle. “Let’s get you cleaned up, okay? We’ll shower and then I’ll get you bandaged up and tucked into bed.”

 

Yoongi nodded his head shakily and used his left hand to wipe away his tears.

 

Jimin tucked his hands underneath Yoongi’s arms and carefully helped lift him into a standing position, helping him step out of the bathtub. He quickly but gently engulfed the older into a tight hug, carefully avoiding his injuries.

 

Yoongi let out a sad whimper at the affectionate action and hooked his chin over Jimin’s shoulder. “I’ll get blood on you.”

 

“I don’t care,” Jimin responded, not an ounce of hesitance in his voice.

 

Yoongi wrapped his arms around Jimin the best he could without hurting himself and hiccuped softly as he tried to stop crying.

 

Jimin and Yoongi stayed like that for what felt like hours before pulling away from the hug. Jimin still stayed close and intertwined his hand with Yoongi’s uninjured one.

 

“We’ll rinse the blood off your hand for now and then get you undressed, that way you don’t get blood on your hoodie when I take it off.”

 

Yoongi nodded slowly as he let Jimin pull him towards the sink. Jimin turned the water on a low pressure, adjusting the temperature so it was luke warm, and turned to look at Yoongi before squeezing his good hand encouragingly. “I’ll let you do it. I don’t want to hold your hand under the water if it’ll hurt you too bad.”

 

Yoongi just looked over Jimin’s face slowly as a response before turning to look at the running water. He lifted his bad hand up slowly before placing it underneath the water, and instantly he hissed and squeezed Jimin’s hand tighter.

 

“I know, it hurts. I’m sorry,” Jimin whispered.

 

Yoongi whimpered as he let the water run over his wounds for a few seconds more before yanking it back, most of the blood gone except for the fresh blood that was still bleeding a little from the wound.

 

“You did so good,” Jimin whispered, turning his head to place a kiss on Yoongi’s temple. “We’ll just let your hand dry and then we’ll get into the shower.”

 

Yoongi nodded slowly as he looked over to Jimin. He vaguely thought about how this would be the first time Jimin would see him naked, and they weren’t under good circumstances. He thought about how Jimin would react to all the self-inflicted and non self-inflicted scars littering his shoulders and stomach, the ones on his thighs and a few on his back where his dad grazed him when he tried to run off. He wondered if Jimin would be disgusted, not just by the scars but by the paleness of his skin and lack of muscle definition, by the way he was nothing special or pretty to look at. He always hated seeing people undress him, he’d usually look away to avoid their reactions.

 

Suran had always made it clear that she was unhappy with his body, that he needed to be tanner and he needed more muscle because he ‘looked like a skinny child’. She was unhappy with all of him, even his own face. She’d encouraged him to look into plastic surgery and pointed out every part of his body that could benefit from it. She’d made him dye his hair when she didn’t like the color he had, and even made him use cream to try to get his scars to go away because they were ‘ugly to look at’.

 

And really he should have known sooner that she was toxic, that relationships weren’t supposed to be like that, should have known that she never loved him from the times she’d slapped him in the face for standing up for himself or pushing him when she wanted a reaction from him and got none. He should have known, and deep down he probably did know, but he was more scared of being alone.

 

And he can’t help but wonder if him and Jimin had met under different circumstances, if Yoongi never had a horrible past or scars littering his body, if he never had suicidal tendencies and anxiety and depression, if Jimin would still care about him as much as he does now.

 

He slowly eases himself out of his thoughts when he hears the shower running and Jimin back at his side, squeezing his good hand. “Ready?”

 

Yoongi nods slowly and looks down at his feet. He can feel Jimin grip onto the pushed up sleeve on the left side of Yoongi’s arm, carefully easing it back down to his wrist, careful to avoid his injuries.

 

Jimin grips onto the other sleeve as well, easing that one back down, but this time he helps Yoongi try to push his arm completely out of the sleeve.

 

Yoongi hisses when his knuckles brush the fabric, but sighs happily once his right arm is completely out of the sleeve, the worst of the pain over.

 

Jimin does the same with Yoongi’s left arm but the older doesn’t even hiss as the fabric brushes his arm, the pain on his knuckles more severe than the pain from his arms.

 

Yoongi can feel Jimin place his hand on the skin of his hips, ready to pull his hoodie off, and Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut.

 

Jimin’s gentle when he eases the hoodie off, the fabric ruffling his hair a little when the hoodie is pulled over his head.

 

Yoongi can’t hear anything from Jimin. Not an intake of breath from all the marks, not a disgusted noise at his body, not a pity noise or a sigh. Just nothing.

 

Yoongi thinks that’s almost worse. He keeps his eyes closed and head down as he wraps his arms around his body self consciously.

 

But then Jimin’s scooting even closer and placing his warm palms over the curve of Yoongi’s waist. “Beautiful,” he whispers. “You’re so beautiful.”

 

Yoongi gasps softly and opens his eyes, tilting his head back up to look at Jimin. There’s nothing but a sincere and fond look on the youngers face, and Yoongi almost wants to cry again from how intimate it is.

 

Yoongi leans forward and presses his forehead against Jimin’s shoulder, breathing deeply.

 

Jimin lets him as he brushes his thumbs over Yoongi’s waist and then reaches down a little further to unbutton his jeans and unzip them. He hooks his thumbs underneath the waistband of Yoongi’s boxers and stops.

 

“Okay?” Jimin asks, waiting for permission.

 

Yoongi just nods slowly.

 

Jimin is slow and gentle as he slides the fabric down Yoongi’s body. He pulls back from the older once the fabric has reached his mid thighs and he squats down on the floor, helping to ease Yoongi’s legs out one by one.

 

Once Yoongi is fully exposed and his clothes are tossed off to the side, Jimin stands up again. He grabs his glasses and closes them before setting them on the counter. He hooks his hands under his own top before pulling it off and tossing it on the pile of clothes. He’s not slow like he was with Yoongi when he takes off his jeans and boxers.

 

Yoongi can’t help but place his hand on Jimin’s stomach, running his palm over the dips and curves of his muscles. His abs are only a little less defined than Jungkook’s, but still just as beautiful to look at and good to feel.

 

“Pretty,” Yoongi whispers, his voice a little hoarse from all the crying.

 

Jimin gives him a small smile and reaches up to grab Yoongi’s hand and intertwine their fingers. “Ready?”

 

Yoongi nods and lets Jimin pull him into the shower. He sighs pleasantly as the hot water hits his back. Jimin’s standing in front of him, facing the older with his hands on Yoongi’s hips.

 

Yoongi whines painfully when the hot water hits his arms and hand, but it soon fades to tolerable discomfort instead of pain.

 

“Just relax. You don’t have to do a thing, okay?”

 

Yoongi looks at Jimin, blinking a few times to get droplets of water out of his eyes, and he just stares. “Why are you so nice to me?”

 

Jimin takes a step closer, pulling their bodies together and resting his forehead against Yoongi’s. “Because I love you. And no matter what you’ve dealt with in the past, whoever hurt you back then, I want to show you what love actually feels like. I want to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”

 

Yoongi bites his lip and he can’t stop himself from what he blurts out next, regardless of if he really wants an answer or not. “Would you still be here right now if we met under different circumstances? If you’d met me in a coffee shop instead of meeting me because I almost died?”

 

Jimin stiffens up a little bit at the question, his shoulders going tense. “Yes,” he whispers. “If I’d seen you in a coffee shop or ran into you on the street, I would have asked you out or gotten your number. You’re too beautiful to walk away from, wherever you’re at. I’d still be here taking care of you like I am now.”

 

“Do you mean that or are you just staying that?” Yoongi questions. He doesn’t say it rude or accusingly, just genuinely curious.

 

“If you’d want me back, then yes. I would still be here.” Jimin slides his hand around to Yoongi’s lower back, kneading at the flesh gently. “It would only be a matter of if you wanted me there or not.”

 

Yoongi hums happily and lets his eyes flutter closed, the hot water soothing his aching muscles as Jimin works out a knot in his back. “I’d always want you here.”

 

“Yeah?” Jimin asks with a smile.

 

“Yeah,” Yoongi answers.

 

Jimin kneads at his back a little more before he starts washing the olders hair, rubbing his fingers against the scalp and laughing quietly at how pleased Yoongi looks.

 

“You like getting your hair played with, huh?” Jimin smiles fondly, brushing over a spot that seems to make Yoongi almost purr.

 

“Yeah,” Yoongi whispers, his mouth hanging open pleasantly.

 

Jimin leans forward and places a small kiss on the corner of Yoongi’s mouth, making the older smile. “I can play with your hair when we’re laying down all you want, but right now let’s just get you washed up, okay?”

 

Yoongi groans but lets Jimin pull his hands away from Yoongi’s hair and tilt his head back to wash all the suds out. When all the shampoo is out, Jimin rings Yoongi’s hair out a little before applying conditioner. He lets that sit as he reaches for the loofah hanging up and squirts some body wash onto it, lathering it up.

 

“I’ll try to be gentle, just let me know if I hurt you, okay?” Jimin watches as Yoongi’s blissed out face just nods, and he smiles fondly.

 

Jimin starts at Yoongi’s chest, scrubbing over his shoulders and pecks before making his way down Yoongi’s stomach. Next he scrubs Yoongi’s arms, very lightly washing over the wounds.

 

Next he gets on his knees and scrubs at Yoongi’s thighs. He stops when he feels fingers in his hair, and he looks up to Yoongi.

 

The olders looking down at him, water droplets falling from his eyelashes as he bites his bottom lip before letting it go. “Sorry, I’m just... I’m really sensitive, on the inside of my thighs.”

 

Jimin gives him a soft smile. “Do you want me to stop?”

 

Yoongi shakes his head and carefully removes his fingers from Jimin’s hair. “No just... keep it in mind, if I start to squirm or anything.”

 

Jimin hums and starts scrubbing at Yoongi’s thighs again. True to his word, the older does squirm around, even letting out a few small whimpers when he gets to a particularly sensitive spot.

 

Jimin stands back up and turns Yoongi around, scrubbing down his back. He finishes washing Yoongi up, smiling again as he tilts Yoongi’s head back to wash the conditioner out.

 

“Okay, you’re all done. I just gotta wash up real quick and we can get out.” He switches positions with Yoongi, standing under the spray and laughing a little when Yoongi leans forward to give him a peck. “What was that for?”

 

“Thank you,” Yoongi whispers, and Jimin can tell he means more than just cleaning him up.

 

Jimin looks him over carefully, studying his face and body, trying to memorize every outline and curve. “Always,” he says softly.

 

After that, Jimin washes his hair and body quickly, wanting nothing more than to lay down and cuddle with Yoongi.

 

Jimin steps out first, opening up a large cabinet to grab a towel, wrapping one around his waist before grabbing another and turning to Yoongi. He holds it open as Yoongi steps out. He wraps it around the olders waist and tucks it in before leaning forward to plant a soft kiss on his shoulder.

 

It feels so intimate, the small little gesture. Something warm spreads through Yoongi’s body as he looks at Jimin, seeing the black locks of hair sticking to his forehead, his eyes trained only on Yoongi. For a moment, he can honestly believe that he is loved.

 

They lock eyes for awhile, just taking each other in. Yoongi’s the first to look away, not used to so much attention. He coughs quietly to break the silence, his good hand instinctively going down to play with the hem of the towel. “First aid kit is in the cabinet above the sink.”

 

“Oh,” Jimin whispers, almost like he forgot the entire reason they’re in the bathroom. “Yeah, okay. Why don’t you go to your room and I’ll meet you in a second.”

 

Yoongi nods a little, giving Jimin one last look before turning to walk out the bathroom.

 

Jimin watches him go before sighing and opening up the cabinet to grab the first aid kit. He tucks it under his arm and then heads down the hall to grab their water bottles still sitting on the coffee table.

 

When he heads back down the hall and into Yoongi’s room, he’s pleasantly surprised by the sight in front of him.

 

If Jimin thought Yoongi’s apartment felt homey and comfortable, it’s nothing compared to his bedroom.

 

The walls are painted a dark blue, clear fairy lights hung around the perimeter of the room. The bed is huge, the comforter matching the walls, and there are pictures hung all over the room. None are of Yoongi or any people, they’re pictures of buildings and flowers and nature, and Jimin gets the feeling Yoongi took those photos himself.

 

There’s a clear glass desk against the left wall, laptop and studio recording equipment littered on the desk. There’s another bookshelf beside the desk, just as full as the one in the living room, and his tv rests on a stand similar to the one in the living room as well.

 

Yoongi lays on the bed, eyes on the ceiling. Jimin doesn’t thinks he’s noticed him yet, so he tries to make a little noise as he heads over to the bed, trying not to startle the older.

 

Jimin jerks his head towards a picture frame as he sits down on the bed, setting the first aid kit and water bottles down. “Did you take those?”

 

Yoongi turns his head to look at Jimin and nods. “Yeah. I really like photography.”

 

Jimin smiles. “Maybe you can show me more sometime.”

 

“Or maybe I can photograph you,” Yoongi smiles, and Jimin thinks it’s the first genuine smile he’s seen from the older since he ran away earlier.

 

“Yeah?” Jimin jokes. “Like how?”

 

Yoongi shrugs as he looks Jimin over. “Maybe just you laughing, or waking up in the morning. Maybe after sex when your hairs messy and you’re a little sweaty, all blissed out. Whenever you look happy or content.”

 

Jimin leans down to kiss Yoongi, humming in agreement as his lips move against the blondes. When he pulls back, he’s still smiling. “I’d love that.”

 

Yoongi smiles brightly, his gums showing with a little blush to his cheeks. He hides his face in the pillow to cover up his embarrassment, but Jimin just coos.

 

“Could I photograph you too?” Jimin asks as he opens up the first aid kit, digging around for everything he needs.

 

Yoongi pulls his face out of the pillow to look at Jimin, still smiling. “You like photography?”

 

“I like it when I’m photographing something beautiful, yeah,” Jimin whispers, looking up to lock eyes with Yoongi.

 

Yoongi’s eyes look fond as he stares at Jimin, his heart hammering in his chest. “Yeah. Yeah, you can photograph me.”

 

Jimin smiles at him for another moment before he picks up a bottle of what looks like disinfectant. “This might hurt a little. Tell me if you need me to stop.”

 

Yoongi nods slowly, his eyes never leaving Jimin’s face as he holds his right arm out.

 

Jimin sprays the disinfectant over the wounds on his arm. They sting a little, but not much. Jimin looks up to him before starting on his hand, and Yoongi nods slowly.

 

When he sprays it onto his knuckles and hand, Yoongi wants to scream. It burns horribly and feels worse than the actual wound does.

 

Jimin frowns as he tries to finish spraying the wound as fast as he can. Yoongi’s whimpering and clutching the bedsheet in his left hand, and Jimin wants to stop and comfort him.

 

But he has to clean out Yoongi’s wounds. It might hurt now, but an infection will hurt worse.

 

When he’s done with Yoongi’s hand, he looks up to Yoongi, seeing his eyes squeezed shut and breathing heavily. Jimin lifts his hand up to comb through Yoongi’s hair, trying to soothe him. “I’m sorry, baby. The worst part is over now, though.”

 

Yoongi lets out another small whine before he lets his eyes flutter open to look at Jimin. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

 

Jimin gives him a quick kiss on his forehead before Yoongi extends his left arm out. Jimin sprays that arm down as well, and Yoongi barely flinches.

 

Jimin sets the disinfectant back into the first aid kit and grabs an ace bandage, unraveling it a little before looking back to Yoongi. “This might be a little uncomfortable, but it shouldn’t hurt. I’m just going to wrap your hand up so your wrist and fingers don’t bend too much.”

 

“Okay,” Yoongi whispers quietly.

 

Jimin cradles his injured hand carefully, examining it a little before wrapping it up slowly. He keeps his eyes on the bandage but listens carefully for anything that might sound like Yoongi’s in pain.

 

Yoongi doesn’t hiss or whine, so he continues wrapping his hand up until it’s all bandaged. He looks back up to Yoongi, seeing the older already staring back at him.

 

“Ready to get dressed?” Jimin asks, closing up the first aid kit and setting it on the floor.

 

Yoongi nods as he pulls his hand back to examine the bandage. “Just grab me any shirt or sweat pants out of the closet. You can grab yourself whatever you want.”

 

Jimin does as told. He walks over to the closet, fishing out a white tee shirt and grey sweats for Yoongi, and a white tee shirt and black sweatpants for himself.

 

He unwraps his towel, patting the rest of his body dry before shaking the towel over his head to dry his hair a little. He tosses the towel into a laundry basket before getting dressed himself.

 

He walks over to Yoongi and sets the clothes on the bed. Yoongi looks at him fondly as Jimin dries the older off and uses the towel to dry his hair.

 

Jimin’s careful to avoid the wounds on Yoongi’s arms and his hand as he runs the towel over the blonde. He tosses that towel in the laundry basket too, and grabs the tee shirt first.

 

He slides it over Yoongi with ease, carefully avoiding any injuries. He slides the sweatpants on Yoongi next, the older lifting his hips up so Jimin can slide them all the way up.

 

Yoongi gives him a sweat smile before he lays down on his bed and throws the comforter over himself. “Come cuddle,” Yoongi says as he turns on the tv and flips through the channels.

 

Jimin laughs quietly as he makes his way to the other side of the bed. He lays down underneath the comforter, Yoongi scooting down to rest his head on Jimin’s chest and throw his leg over the youngers hip.

 

Jimin slides his fingers into Yoongi’s hair and scratches at the scalp lightly, watching Yoongi search for something to watch on the tv.

 

“Do you ever wonder how you got so lucky for something to happen in your life?” Yoongi asks randomly. He’s still searching through channels, not sparing a glance at Jimin.

 

The youngers hand stills in Yoongi’s hair as he thinks it over. “Yeah, I do.”

 

“That’s how I feel about you.” Yoongi still doesn’t look at Jimin, almost like it’s something too intimate to admit to the youngers face.

 

Jimin just smiles and starts scratching at Yoongi’s scalp again. “I feel the same way about you.”

 

Jimin can see a small smile on the corner of Yoongi’s lips as the older settles on a movie called 17 Again, before throwing the remote back on the nightstand. It’s silent for awhile, comfortably so, but Jimin can feel Yoongi fidgeting a little, almost like he’s nervous.

 

Jimin drags his fingernails along the nape of Yoongi’s neck, just the way he knows the older likes, and kisses the crown of his head. “Everything alright?”

 

Yoongi doesn’t move for a second, just stays completely still before turning his head up to look at Jimin, blinking his eyes slowly.

 

Jimin furrows his eyebrows a little in worry as he looks at the older. Yoongi looks like he wants to say something but the words just aren’t coming out.

 

“You can tell me anything,” Jimin encourages, never breaking eye contact and keeping his fingers moving in the olders hair reassuringly.

 

Yoongi bites his lip a little before letting it go again. “You didn’t say anything wrong. Earlier, I mean.” He takes a deep breath and blinks slowly. “I just... it was a lot. You were so sweet and you made me feel loved and I wanted that so bad, but this part of me, the same part that tells me it’s fine to hurt myself or kill myself, tells me that I don’t deserve it. And I know I have all of these people who care about me now but it doesn’t feel real, it doesn’t feel like they love me because I can’t force myself to believe it’s true.”

 

Jimin hums quietly in acknowledgement. His fingers in Yoongi’s hair have slowed down but never stopped, still trying to comfort the blonde as much as he can. “Can I tell you something?”

 

Yoongi’s eyes lock onto Jimin’s own before he nods the slightest bit.

 

“I think I understand what you’re going through, at least a little bit. When I was younger, I had this baby fat on my face and body that just wouldn’t go away, no matter how much I danced or exercised. People bullied me a lot for it, said I was ugly and fat and that no one would want me. I was just a kid, you know? It got to me. I became depressed over it, never to the point of harming myself or trying to kill my self, but I couldn’t stand looking at my reflection anymore. I threw blankets or cloth over the mirrors in my room so I didn’t have to see myself. When I hit 19 or 20, all that baby fat finally went away, but it wasn’t enough. I still hated how I looked, so, I started starving myself. I’d go days without eating, pass out at dance practice, end up in the hospital for a few days. And when I did eat, I always made myself throw it back up afterwards. Hoseok was the one who caught on first, he’s the one who noticed how quick my body was thinning out and how I never went to dinner with them anymore after practice, how I’d stay hours behind in the studio pushing myself to perfect a dance. He pulled me aside one day and I knew something was really, _really_ wrong when he had this serious look on his face, because he’s always all laughs and smiles. He told me he knew. He said he knew what I’d been doing and that I need to stop. He told me that he would help me through it, help me ease back into a healthy diet and exercise to gain back a healthy amount of weight, and that’s exactly what he did. If I called him up crying at 4 AM because I weighed 3 more pounds than I did last time I weighed myself, he’d drive across town to come over and hold me and tell me that it was okay that I gained weight because it was _good_ , it was _healthy_ , and it’s what I _needed_. He stayed with me until I was back to normal, and he never told anyone about it. He always said it was our little secret, and that unless it got even worse than what it was, he wouldn’t tell a soul, so he didn’t. So it might be a little different than your situation, but trust me Yoongi, I know what feeling depressed is like, and I promise you, you aren’t alone.”

 

Jimin can feel tears in his eyes as he looks at Yoongi, the memories of that time in his life are almost too hard to talk about, especially because Hoseok is the only other person in the world who knew.

 

Yoongi started crying at some point. He stayed silent, but tears ran down his cheeks and he’d bat them away before focusing on Jimin again.

 

Yoongi leans forward to rest his forehead against Jimin’s and he lets one little sob escape before sniffling and closing his eyes. “Jimin, you...” Yoongi starts before getting choked up. “I may not have known you for as long as everybody else, but I can’t ever imagine you being any less beautiful than you already are. I’m so sorry you felt the need to do that to yourself. You’re so beautiful, I promise, Jiminie. I promise.”

 

Jimin closes his eyes and pecks Yoongi for a long, _long_ second before speaking. “I appreciate that, but I’ll never be happy with how I look, and that’s just something I’m going to have to deal with.”

 

“Let me show you,” Yoongi whispers. He blinks his eyes opened and brushes his lips over Jimin’s. “Let me show you how beautiful you are.”


	14. Promise

Jimin brushes his fingertips along the curve of Yoongi’s jawline before cupping his chin gently and looking into his eyes. “You don’t need to show me anything, Yoongi.”  
  
Yoongi looks at Jimin for a moment, eyes scanning over the younger's face before landing on his lips. Yoongi pushes himself up into a sitting position, hissing when it puts too much pressure on his injured hand.   
  
Jimin fights him on it, tries to push him back down to rest, but Yoongi bats his hands away as he throws one leg over Jimin’s hip and straddles him.   
  
Jimin holds onto Yoongi’s hips, looking up at him as the older situates himself and throws his arms around Jimin’s neck. Yoongi noses at Jimin’s jawline and plants a soft kiss there. “I want to. I wanna show you how beautiful you are and how loved you are. I want to make you feel good and worship your body so you’ll never question yourself again.”  
  
Jimin brushes his thumbs over Yoongi’s hipbones with a pleasant sigh when the older nips at a patch of skin just below his jawline. “I want that, but you’re hurt, Yoongi. You need to rest.”  
  
Yoongi bites harshly at a spot on Jimin’s neck in retaliation that has the younger sucking in a sharp breath. He licks over it soothingly then kisses the bruise that’s forming apologetically. “I’m fine, Jiminie. I promise.”  
  
Any more arguments the younger had dies in his throat when Yoongi kisses over his adam’s apple and sucks on a patch of skin right beside it. He lets his eyes close pleasantly and nods his head. “Just— be careful, please. Don’t hurt yourself.”  
  
Yoongi nods with a hum and pulls back to look at Jimin, cupping his cheeks with both hands. He brushes his thumb over the younger's plump bottom lip and watches the movement, unconsciously licking his lips. “So that’s a yes?”  
  
“Yes,” Jimin whispers, and before he fully has the word out of his mouth, Yoongi’s lips are on his own.   
  
Jimin groans as he moves his hands to Yoongi’s lower back and pushes him forward a little, pressing their bodies together.   
  
Yoongi plays with the hair at Jimin’s nape and licks over the seam of the younger's lips before bringing their tongues together, intertwining them gently. Yoongi whines when Jimin’s fingertips tease at the back of his waistband, dipping in to brush along the skin before pulling back out again.   
  
Jimin smiles when he hears the noise from Yoongi, and he nips at the older's bottom lip softly, rolling the flesh between his teeth before letting it go again.   
  
Yoongi rests his forehead against Jimin’s, eyes closed as he pants softly and tries to catch his breath. “You asked if anyone has ever made love to me instead of just fucked me.”  
  
Jimin nods in agreement. “I did.”  
  
Yoongi can feel his lips brush against Jimin’s as he speaks. “Has anyone ever made love to you?”  
  
It’s silent for a long moment before Jimin pecks his lips and shakes his head. “No. No one has.”  
  
Yoongi brushes his thumbs over Jimin’s cheeks before kissing the tip of the younger's nose in a gentle gesture. “Then we can be each other’s first for that, yeah?”  
  
Jimin smiles fondly as he slips his hands underneath the fabric of Yoongi’s shirt and brushes his hands over the heated skin. “I’d love that, having a first with you. I don’t think there’s anyone else I would want to make love to me but you.”  
  
“Any time,” Yoongi whispers, running his hands down Jimin’s chest. “Any time you need to feel a little more loved or you feel a little insecure about something, I’ll be here, and I’ll always show you how loved and beautiful you are.”  
  
Jimin’s smile falters a little as he feels his bottom lip tremble slightly. There’s so many emotions running through his body and Yoongi is being so good to him that he can feel tears brimming in the corner of his eyes. He inhales sharply as he buries his face in the crook of Yoongi’s neck, trying to suppress his emotions.   
  
Yoongi runs his fingers through Jimin’s hair and plants a soft kiss on top of his head. “It’s okay if you cry, Jiminie. It’s okay if you feel emotional.”  
  
“Fuck,” Jimin whispers, and he can hear himself hiccup quietly as he tries to hold back his sob, but he knows his tears have started to flow down his cheeks already.   
  
“My baby,” Yoongi whispers, and it’s so soft and gentle that Jimin does let himself sob, just for a moment. “So beautiful, so good. You’re so kind and caring, the best person I know.”  
  
Jimin takes in a shaky breath and forces himself to pull back to look at Yoongi, blinking a few times to get the tears out of his eyes.   
  
Yoongi is smiling at him softly, still scratching along the nape of his neck comfortingly. Yoongi reaches down to grab onto the hem of his shirt, gently lifting it up and off before tossing it to the side. The older lets his hands roam the expanse of Jimin’s chest before making their way down to his stomach, feeling over his abs and tracing them slowly. “So pretty,” he whispers.   
  
Jimin nearly whimpers at the praise, just barely restraining himself from letting out the noise.   
  
Yoongi watches his hands trace over Jimin’s body, smiling when his thumb brushes over Jimin’s nipple and the younger inhales sharply. “It’s okay, baby. Let me hear you. I wanna hear you.”  
  
Jimin groans as he tosses his head back, resting it against the headboard and leaning back a little to give Yoongi more space. He runs his fingers through Yoongi’s hair, watching the older explore his body.   
  
Yoongi watches in fascination as Jimin’s abs tense when he runs his fingers across them lightly, listens to the way Jimin’s breath hitches when he brushes over his hips, and listens to the pleasant moan Jimin lets out whenever he brushes over his nipples, on purpose or unintentionally.   
  
Yoongi looks up at Jimin, watching as the younger pants through parted lips and his eyes dilate a little more. He keeps his eyes locked on Jimin’s as he leans forward and carefully takes a nipple into his mouth, sucking softly before running his tongue over the bud.   
  
Jimin moans, his fingers tightening in Yoongi’s hair. He pants a little harder, eyes lidded as he refuses to look away from Yoongi’s gaze.   
  
When Yoongi bites down gently on the bud and Jimin moans higher than before, he can’t help but close his eyes and revel in the sound the younger lets out. He licks over that nipple and sucks on it a little more before kissing his way over to the next one, taking it back into his mouth.   
  
Jimin’s hips jerk up a little as the sudden warmth engulfs his nipple and he starts to whine.   
  
Yoongi hums happily as he flicks his tongue over the pert bud and Jimin inhales sharply, tightening his fingers in Yoongi’s locks even more. When Yoongi pulls back and opens his eyes again, Jimin’s still looking at him, but it’s different this time. His gaze is more needy and dark than before, more aroused.   
  
Yoongi kisses down the younger's stomach, whispering praises with every kiss. “So beautiful, Jiminie,” “you’re being so good for me,” “love you so much.” By the time Yoongi’s lips reach the waistband of his sweatpants, Jimin’s whimpering and squirming impatiently.   
  
Yoongi kisses his hip softly, whispering a quiet “shh,” until the younger relaxes a little more. Once he stops squirming, Yoongi hooks his fingers under the waistband and pulls his sweatpants off and tosses them to the side, leaving Jimin completely exposed. He slowly spreads Jimin’s legs apart by his thighs, running his hands over the smooth skin reassuringly.   
  
Jimin looks like he’s close to crying again, and Yoongi’s not sure if it’s because he’s emotional or because he’s frustrated, but either way, Yoongi coos a little. He kisses at Jimin’s inner thighs, feeling them tense up underneath his lips before relaxing again.   
  
Yoongi kisses at the crevice between Jimin’s thigh and hip and looks up at the younger, seeing him biting his lip with his head tossed to the side, eyes closed. “Do you like bottoming, Jiminie?”  
  
Jimin nods his head slowly, letting his bottom lip go from between his teeth.   
  
“Okay baby,” Yoongi whispers, planting another soft kiss on his hip. “There’s lube in the top drawer, can you hand that to me?”  
  
Jimin’s still a little dazed, but he manages to open up the drawer and search around before grabbing onto a bottle and handing it to Yoongi, eyes still closed pleasantly.   
  
Yoongi pops the cap open and squirts some onto his left hand, rubbing it together to warm it up. He spreads Jimin’s legs a little further apart before kissing at the inside of his thigh encouragingly and rubbing his index finger over Jimin’s entrance.   
  
Jimin’s breath hitches as he clutches onto the bed sheets tightly, a tiny whimper leaving his lips.   
  
“Doing so good, baby,” Yoongi praises. “Do you like cumming multiple times? Is that okay?”  
  
Jimin nods his head quickly with a soft whine. “Y–Yeah, please.”  
  
Yoongi hums as a response and carefully eases in the first finger, kissing at Jimin’s hip encouragingly.   
  
Jimin sucks in a sharp breath before it trails off into a moan, tossing his head to the side as he bites at his lip again.   
  
“You look so beautiful, baby,” Yoongi whispers softly, easing the first finger in and out slowly. “Always look so beautiful. I love you so much, Jiminie. You’re doing so good.”  
  
Jimin whines, and Yoongi thinks it’s more of a sob than a pleasant whine, so he kisses at his hip again softly. “I love you, Yoongi. Love you so much, please.”  
  
Yoongi shushes him softly, nuzzling at his inner thigh before planting another kiss there. “We have all the time in the world. It’s okay. I promise it’s okay, baby.”  
  
Jimin whimpers softly but nods his head and forces himself to relax his grip on the bed sheets.  
  
When Yoongi thinks he’s relaxed enough, he carefully eases in a second finger, and Jimin’s lips part pleasantly as he moans louder. Yoongi crooks his fingers and searches for Jimin’s prostate, smiling when the younger lets out a loud, “ _there!_ Fuck.”  
  
“Feel good?” Yoongi asks, rubbing against Jimin’s prostate teasingly.   
  
Jimin blindly reaches down and grips onto Yoongi’s hair, trying to ground himself. “Feels so good, Yoongi. Please, fuck.”  
  
Yoongi leans forward and licks at the tip of Jimin’s cock, collecting the pre-cum as he fingers the younger slowly and teasingly.   
  
Jimin arches his back with a loud moan, thigh muscles tightening around Yoongi.   
  
Yoongi carefully takes the tip into his mouth, sucking softly as he listens to Jimin pant and moan below him.   
  
Jimin squirms and whines, tightening his grip on the older's hair. The warmth around his cock feels so good but not enough, and Yoongi’s fingering him too slow, brushing over his prostate teasingly but not enough to cum.   
  
“Yoongi please. W–Wanna cum, please—“ Jimin cuts himself off with a long and low moan when he feels Yoongi ease in the third finger, scissoring and stretching him as Yoongi takes him a little deeper into his mouth.   
  
He unintentionally thrusts his hips up into Yoongi’s mouth, but the older doesn’t seem to mind, doesn’t even gag. Jimin eases his grip on Yoongi’s hair and rolls his hips slowly, testing out Yoongi’s reaction. He knows the younger likes being throat fucked, but he’s not sure if he likes it when he’s the dominant one, or if he wants Jimin to be patient.   
  
Yoongi hums encouragingly as he brushes all three fingers against Jimin’s prostate.   
  
Jimin nearly screams and rolls his hips a little harder when Yoongi takes him all the way to the base, his hand cradling the back of the blondes head gently.   
  
Yoongi lets him roll his hips a little, but he pins the younger down with his arm when he starts going too hard or too fast.   
  
Jimin whimpers needily, watching as Yoongi takes him to the base then pulls all the way up, sucking on the head and swirling his tongue around before going back down.   
  
Yoongi starts fingering him a little more earnestly, hitting his prostate and sucking him off a little harder, humming happily when Jimin moans his name.   
  
Jimin grips onto Yoongi’s hair brutally, breaths coming in quick and fast as he moans loudly. “Fuck, Y–Yoongi, gonna—“ He cuts himself off with another moan, and he can feel Yoongi working a little harder, giving him permission to finally let go. He can feel his stomach muscles tense up and his thighs begin to shake as a warmth begins to spread through his body pleasantly. Jimin can feel tears slide down his cheeks as he nears his orgasm, loud whimpers escaping him. Yoongi’s name is the last thing to leave his mouth before he can feel himself cumming, his orgasm tearing through his body and making him tremble pleasantly.   
  
Yoongi works him through it, sucking him off and fingering him until the aftershocks wear off. He feels a little dazed, his whole body tingling and his vision a little blurred as he tries to focus again.   
  
Yoongi bobs his head a few more times, licking him clean and slowly easing his fingers out, making Jimin whine at the empty feeling. He climbs back up Jimin’s body, bringing his face close to the younger's and looking over his blissed out face. “You did so good, baby. Looked so pretty when you came.”  
  
Jimin whines and grips at Yoongi’s shirt needily. “Please, Yoongi,” Jimin begs, tears still streaming down his face. “I want— I want you to make love to me. Please, I need—“  
  
Yoongi kisses him softly, quieting the younger's pleas. When he thinks Jimin’s calmed down enough, he slowly pulls back and looks over the younger's face. “It’s okay. I’ll give you whatever you want, I promise.”  
  
Jimin sobs quietly and nods, carefully releasing Yoongi’s shirt. He watches as Yoongi slowly pulls off his shirt and tosses it aside, following the movement of the blondes fingers as they hook into his sweatpants and push them off.   
  
Jimin licks his lips when he sees Yoongi’s erection then looks back up to the blonde. Yoongi looks back at him as he squirts a little more lube into his hand and slicks himself up.   
  
Yoongi hisses at the first contact pleasantly and pulls his hand away. He wipes the rest of the lube on his bed sheet and carefully pushes Jimin’s knees up to his chest, holding onto the back of his thighs. “You ready, baby? You okay?”  
  
“So good,” Jimin whispers, licking over his lips as he closes his eyes. “I’m ready. Please.”  
  
Yoongi turns his head to kiss at Jimin’s calf before lining himself up. He slowly pushes into Jimin, and when he breaches the first ring of muscles, Jimin lets out the most beautiful moan Yoongi thinks he’s ever heard.   
  
Jimin scrambles his hands on the bed to grab at Yoongi’s hips tightly, moaning obscenely the deeper the older goes.   
  
Once Yoongi’s all the way to the hilt, he lets go of Jimin’s legs and leans forward, nuzzling his face into the younger's neck and giving a few soft kisses. “You feel so good, Jiminie. Just me know when it’s alright to move, okay baby?”  
  
Jimin nods his head quickly and he can feel Yoongi slide his good hand into one of his own, pinning his hand to the bed and intertwining their fingers. Jimin whines at the intimate action and breathes in deeply before letting it out again. He thinks he’d be completely content to just let Yoongi stay like this, buried inside of him, unmoving as Jimin just stays wrapped around him.   
  
The younger tightens his grip on Yoongi’s hand and whispers a soft, “move,” before closing his eyes contently.   
  
Yoongi pulls back to capture Jimin’s lips with his own as he pulls his hips back halfway before thrusting in again, swallowing all of Jimin’s little moans.   
  
Jimin whimpers when Yoongi starts pulling back further, all the way to the tip before thrusting back in.   
  
Jimin pulls his lips away from Yoongi’s the slightest bit and presses his forehead to the blondes. He takes a shaky breath as Yoongi rolls his hips forward again. “I love you,” he whispers. And it’s not in the heat of the moment or something you blurt out when you’re close to an orgasm, it’s something he truly means as Yoongi consumes all of him, wraps himself around Jimin and thrusts into him slowly, kissing him passionately and holding his hand tight. He can feel it through his entire body as he cries from how loved and beautiful Yoongi makes him feel, just from the way he talks to him and pleasures him.   
  
Jimin can feel Yoongi’s lips pull into a smile as he squeezes Jimin’s hand just a little tighter. “I love you too, so much. Gonna make you feel so good, I promise.”  
  
Jimin pecks his lips once more before letting out a little moan when Yoongi thrusts just the right way. “Already made me feel so good, made me cum harder than I ever have before. Made me feel so pretty and loved.”  
  
“You are,” Yoongi whispers, angling his hips until Jimin lets out a loud whine. “You’re so pretty and so loved. Always will be, I promise. I’ll always love you the way you deserve.”  
  
Jimin can feel the tears brimming at the corners of his eyes again as a few slip down his cheeks. He brings his lips back to Yoongi’s and lets himself get lost in the feeling of his kiss as Yoongi thrusts slow and deep, hitting his prostate every time.   
  
Yoongi rips a whine from the younger's throat with everything thrust, the more speed he picks up, the louder Jimin gets. It always stays passionate and sensual, but so, so good.   
  
Jimin tucks his face into Yoongi’s neck with a loud whine, his legs wrapping around the blondes waist to keep him close.   
  
“You close, baby?” Yoongi asks, kissing and nosing along the younger's neck.   
  
Jimin nods with another whimper, his legs tightening around Yoongi as he squeezes his hand. “S–So close.”  
  
“Cum for me, baby. I’ll make you cum again, I promise.” Yoongi bites at Jimin’s neck and sucks a bruise into the skin, kissing over it before moving onto another spot.   
  
Jimin lets out a sob as Yoongi picks up his pace a little more, sucking on a spot on Jimin’s neck that he knows is extremely sensitive.   
  
There’s no slow build up to his orgasm this time, it crashes through his and knocks the air from his lungs as he spills onto his and Yoongi’s stomach, panting heavily as white spots litter his vision. He feels his body tingling with aftershocks, feeling like pleasant little pin pricks. He must be drooling, Jimin notices, because Yoongi pulls his hand away from Jimin’s to thumb at the corner of his mouth with a smile.   
  
Yoongi slows his thrusts to a stop once Jimin’s come down from his high, and he kisses the younger once more. “Hands and knees.”  
  
Jimin scrambles to quickly turn over and lift himself up on all fours, his arms and legs shaking pleasantly from the orgasm. He’s too dazed to realize why he’s in that position, he just waits with his eyes closed and a smile, a pleasant buzz going through his body. The second he feels Yoongi’s tongue licking at his rim, his arms give out and he shoves his face into the pillows, his thighs shaking so bad Yoongi has to hold him up.   
  
He feels so overstimulated but so good he wants to scream. He’s still coming down from his orgasm and he’s already came twice, now Yoongi is eating him out like it’s his favorite past time and he feels like he can’t breathe. He’s trying to squirm away and push back into Yoongi’s face at the same time, his body completely unsure of what he wants. He knows for a fact that he’s drooling now, can feel it pooling on the pillow beside his mouth as he clutches at the bed sheets and moans. “Yoongi,” he whines. “It’s too much, I—“  
  
“Just tell me if you want me to stop and I’ll stop,” Yoongi whispers, kissing at Jimin’s asscheek and waiting for an answer before continuing.   
  
Jimin takes a few deep breaths and lets them back out again. “Feels good, keep going.”  
  
Yoongi hums as he starts licking at his rim again. Jimin barely registers when Yoongi reaches around to wrap his good hand around his half-hard cock and pumps it in time with his licks. It takes a minute for Jimin to register that there’s lube on Yoongi’s hand to ease the slide, and it only makes it better.   
  
Jimin’s whining and moaning something but he’s not entirely sure what, he can’t hear the words leaving his mouth, everything sounds so far away, like he’s not really there. He wants to scream when all of it suddenly stops. No more licking at his rim, no more hand around his cock, and he knows he started sobbing again, because he can hear Yoongi trying to console him.   
  
Yoongi shushes him and gently eases him onto his back, wiping away the younger's tears and kissing his cheeks. “Shh, it’s okay baby. I wanted to ride you, so I had to get you hard again, okay? I’m gonna ride you and I promise it’ll be okay. Such a good boy, you’re doing great baby.”  
  
Jimin whines as he slowly blinks his eyes open to look at Yoongi. It’s a little blurry, his tears clouding his vision, but he can clearly see Yoongi staring back at him with a fond and concerned expression, and it warms his heart. “H–Hurry,” he croaks out. “Wanna feel you.”  
  
Yoongi smirks as he throws his leg over Jimin’s waist, straddling him as he leans down to brush his lips against Jimin’s. “Yeah? You wanna feel me, huh?”  
  
Jimin wraps his arms around Yoongi, trailing his nails up and down the older's back, making Yoongi shiver. “I love you. I wanna feel all of you. You’re so pretty, so sweet.”  
  
Yoongi smiles and kisses Jimin softly as he grinds back against the younger's erection, making them both moan softly. “I love you too, Jiminie. You’re gonna feel so good. Gonna make you cum one more time, I promise.”  
  
Jimin nods as he grips onto Yoongi’s hips in anticipation. “Gonna make you cum so hard.”  
  
Yoongi nibbles on Jimin’s bottom lip before tucking his face into the younger's neck. He reaches back to line Jimin’s cock up, and slowly begins to sink down. Immediately he’s thankful he took the time to stretch himself while eating Jimin out, because the younger is thick and long, and it’s been awhile since he’s taken someone that big. He lets out a deep moan, a shiver running through his spine. He can feel Jimin’s nails sinking harshly into his hips, maybe even drawing blood, and it only makes him feel even better.  
  
Yoongi can feel Jimin panting below him more than he can hear him. The younger is holding himself back, Yoongi can tell. When the older has sunk down to the base, he gives Jimin another quick kiss before sitting up and taking in a deep breath. He rests his good hand on Jimin’s chest, looking down at the younger.   
  
And Jimin looks... not so submissive anymore. He looks dark and dominant, like he’s just waiting for the okay to ruin Yoongi, and it makes the blonde shiver.   
  
“Jimin,” Yoongi whispers, licking his lips.   
  
The sound that leaves Jimin resembles a growl, and his grip on Yoongi’s hips tighten by a fraction. He reaches one hand down to wrap around Yoongi’s cock, pumping slowly.   
  
Yoongi hisses and clenches down on Jimin, making the younger let out a moan and a quiet, “fuck.”  
  
Yoongi rolls his hips slowly, a soft moan leaving his lips. “Jimin, fuck. You’re... You’re big.”  
  
Jimin thumbs over the slit of Yoongi’s cock, smearing the pre-cum and smirking when Yoongi whines. “Feels good then, baby?”  
  
“So good,” Yoongi whispers. He can feel drool on the corner of his lip and he licks it away while he’s still conscious enough to do so. He carefully pulls himself up, just leaving in the tip, before slamming back down again.   
  
The air is punched from Yoongi’s lungs and his thighs shake from the pleasure. Jimin reaches up and swipes his thumb across Yoongi’s bottom lip, smearing the pre-cum there.   
  
Yoongi takes his thumb into his mouth and swirls his tongue around before sucking on the digit, closing his eyes and moaning pleasantly as he rolls his hips again.   
  
“Fuck,” Jimin mumbles, the one hand still on Yoongi’s hip tightening more. “You’re already so far gone, aren’t you?”  
  
Yoongi just hums as he pulls himself up again before dropping back down, moaning around Jimin’s thumb.   
  
“Little slut’s just gotta have both holes filled, don’t you?” Jimin coos, rubbing his thumb in circles over Yoongi’s hip.   
  
Yoongi nods and pulls off Jimin’s thumb with a pop, licking his lips. “Need more.”   
  
Jimin swipes his middle and index finger through the mess of still warm cum on his stomach and shoves them into Yoongi’s mouth, smirking when Yoongi moans around them and his cock twitches. He reaches his other hand up to pinch at Yoongi’s nipple, making the older's back arch quickly. “Oh? Are you really sensitive there, baby?”  
  
Yoongi swirls his tongue around Jimin’s fingers and whimpers sadly when they’re all clean. He nods as he lifts himself up before dropping back down again, pulling a moan from both of them.   
  
“Tell you what, baby,” Jimin says, pulling his fingers out of Yoongi’s mouth and swiping up some more cum. “Work for it and I’ll let you lick my fingers clean. Got it?”  
  
Yoongi opens his eyes and wastes no time before he’s riding Jimin with vigor, bouncing with his head thrown back and high pitched moans escaping his lips.   
  
Jimin thumbs over one of Yoongi’s nipples, groaning when the older thrusts down just right. “Tongue out, baby.”  
  
Yoongi sticks his tongue out but never slows his thrusts, waiting patiently for whatever Jimin’s willing to give him.   
  
Jimin runs his finger along Yoongi’s tongue slowly, smirking when the older whines. “Doing so good baby. You wanna lick them clean? Think you deserve that?”  
  
Yoongi clenches down on Jimin and nods quickly.   
  
Jimin drags his nail over Yoongi’s nipple teasingly, making the older's breath hitch. “Alright, baby. Go ahead.”  
  
Yoongi closes his lips around Jimin’s fingers with a moan, swirling his tongue and sucking softly. His thighs tremble on both sides of Jimin, and the younger can tell he’s getting close.   
  
“Gonna cum, baby?” Jimin teases, thrusting up when Yoongi drops down, nearly making the older scream around his fingers. “Getting so close, aren’t you?”  
  
Yoongi nods frantically, digging his nails into Jimin’s chest with a loud whine.   
  
Jimin brings the hand on Yoongi’s nipple down to his cock, pumping in time with Yoongi’s thrusts. He thinks the older might be trying to say something around his fingers, but he lets it go because he knows Yoongi is just babbling the closer he gets.   
  
When Yoongi’s stomach tightens in preparation, Jimin stills his hand and squeezes hard at the base.   
  
Yoongi quickly opens his eyes and whines around Jimin’s fingers, trying to push Jimin’s hand away so he can orgasm.   
  
Jimin just shushes him softly and kisses his cheek. “Shh, it’s okay baby. I’ll let you cum soon.”  
  
Yoongi tries a little more to push Jimin’s hand away before his orgasm fades completely. When the feeling disappears and he’s just left with a raging boner and no release, he sobs. The older stills his thrusts and closes his eyes, tears falling down his cheeks as he sobs around Jimin’s fingers.   
  
Jimin cradles the back of Yoongi’s head with one hand and slowly slides his fingers out of Yoongi’s mouth, a trail of saliva following. “You did so good, baby. So good for me. It’s okay.” He leans forward and locks lips with Yoongi. It’s wet from the older's tears and he can taste his release on Yoongi’s tongue, but the older seems to relax a little at the affection.   
  
Jimin gently pushes Yoongi back until he’s laying flat with Jimin between his legs, their lips still locked onto each other’s.   
  
Once Yoongi’s whimpers have died down, Jimin pulls away just far enough to look over the older.   
  
Yoongi slowly blinks his eyes open with a pout, he face stained with tears. “W–Wanted to cum.”  
  
“Soon, baby,” Jimin promises.   
  
“Have I been bad?” Yoongi asks, sniffling quietly as he reaches up to wipe away his tears.   
  
“No baby,” Jimin coos, reaching up to run his thumb over Yoongi’s cheek. “You’ve been so good for me. I just want you to cum with me, okay?”  
  
Yoongi nods slowly and brushes his nose against the curve of Jimin’s jawline. “Then I’ll be a good boy for you and wait.”  
  
“My perfect baby boy,” Jimin praises, nipping at Yoongi’s neck. “You ready?”  
  
Yoongi nearly purrs at the nickname and nods quickly, adding a quiet, “please.”  
  
Jimin slides back into Yoongi with ease, slamming his hips forward quickly.   
  
Yoongi’s back arches as he squeezes his eyes shut tight, a moan tearing from his throat. “Fuck, Jimin.”  
  
“Feel good?” Jimin smiles, thrusting harshly as he angles his hips until he finds the right spot.   
  
Yoongi gasps, nearly choking on air as he scrambles to grab at Jimin’s arms. “Fuck, _there there there!_ ”  
  
Jimin grabs Yoongi’s chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting his head forward. “Look at me.”  
  
Yoongi slowly opens his eyes, blinking a few times to reorient himself before locking eyes with Jimin.   
  
“Anyone else make you feel this good? Jungkook? Taehyung? Namjoon?”  
  
Yoongi whimpers and he knows he’s crying again from the pleasure, can feel the wetness on his cheeks.   
  
“Answer me,” Jimin demands, thrusting particularly hard at Yoongi’s prostate.   
  
Yoongi sobs and shakes his head quickly. “No,” Yoongi croaks, his voice breaking off. “J–Just you.”  
  
Jimin hums and wraps his free hand around Yoongi’s cock, pumping him in time with his thrusts. “Liars don’t get to cum. You better hope for your sake that you mean it.”  
  
“I do!” Yoongi cries, grabbing at Jimin’s arm with his good hand and digging his nails in. “I mean it, Jiminie, you feel so good, the best. Please, wanna cum. Please.”  
  
Jimin groans when he can feel Yoongi clench around him, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment. “Tell me what I want to hear and I’ll let you cum.”  
  
Yoongi doesn’t know what the hell Jimin could possibly want to hear and he starts to panic for a moment, but when he looks at Jimin, he can see that his eyes have softened a little, and he knows what Jimin wants.   
  
“I love you,” Yoongi whispers, looking into Jimin’s eyes. “I love you so much, I mean it. I promise.”  
  
Jimin looks at Yoongi for a long moment before he kisses him roughly, one hand still pumping Yoongi as he thrusts into him hard and deep.   
  
Yoongi kisses back the best he can but he’s mostly just moaning into Jimin’s mouth as he nears his orgasm again. “Cum in me,” He pants against Jimin’s lips, “please.”  
  
Jimin’s lips still for a moment before he whispers a soft, “okay,” and kisses Yoongi again.   
  
Yoongi tries to warn Jimin the best he can, but it’s mostly incoherent mumbling against Jimin’s lips, but the younger must seem to know what he means, because he strokes him a little faster and thrusts a little harder.   
  
Yoongi screams as his orgasm rips through him. It makes his toes curl and his mind and body go pleasantly numb to anything other than his orgasm. He knows he must have came a lot because he can still feel it pulsing out of him moments later as Jimin strokes him through it.   
  
Jimin kisses at Yoongi’s cheek and jaw as the older tries to catch his breath.   
  
Yoongi thinks he’s blacked out for a moment because his vision is spotty and black and when he comes back to it, Jimin’s on the verge of his own orgasm, whispering in his ear. “Did so good, baby boy. So good. The best, baby.” Jimin has his face tucked into Yoongi’s neck as he pants, still thrusting ruthlessly against his prostate.   
  
Yoongi makes a small noise to let Jimin know he’s come back to it, and the younger kisses his neck softly in response. “Jiminie,” Yoongi says softly. “Please... wanna see you when you cum inside me.”  
  
Jimin inhales sharply at the words and pulls back to look at Yoongi in awe. The older looks completely fucked out, blonde hair a mess on the pillow around him, hickies littering his neck, eyes lidded and lips swollen, he looks completely sinful. That alone is enough to send Jimin over the edge. He spills into Yoongi, making the older gasp as he keeps thrusting through his orgasm.   
  
Yoongi reaches up and cups Jimin’s cheek with his good hand, using the last of his energy to spare him a small smile. “You look even prettier when you cum. I didn’t think that was possible.”  
  
Jimin lets out a breathless laugh and kisses Yoongi’s temple as he slows to a stop. He slowly pulls out of Yoongi and lays beside the older. Instantly Yoongi curls into his side, arm and leg thrown over Jimin with his head on the younger's chest, disregarding any cum or lube smeared all over them.   
  
Jimin takes a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart and scratches at Yoongi’s scalp. “Thank you,” Jimin whispers quietly. “For showing me how beautiful and loved you thought I was. It... It was really emotional, but it was good. It felt good to know you felt that way.”  
  
Yoongi hums thoughtfully as he traces small patterns on Jimin’s belly. “Of course. Any time you need a reminder, I’ll be glad to show you. I’ll make sure from now on that you never feel any less than you are.”  
  
Jimin turns his head to kiss the crown of Yoongi’s head, keeping his lips there. “Did you mean it? That you love me, I mean? It’s okay if you just said it to make me feel better, but I meant it—“  
  
“Jimin.” Yoongi looks up at Jimin, locking eyes with him. “ _I love you,_ ” Yoongi whispers, enunciating every word. “That’s not something I would lie about or tell someone in the heat of the moment. If I say it, I mean it. And I do love you with everything I have, Jiminie.”  
  
Jimin chews on his bottom lip and looks down. “Okay,” he says quietly. “I believe you. I just might need a reminder that you mean it sometimes. I’ve never... I know what everyone in our group has isn’t labeled as a relationship or anything like that, but it’s the closest to one I’ve ever had. I used to only do one night stands. I’ve never loved anybody before Yoongi, and I’ve never had anyone love me in return.”  
  
“Hey,” Yoongi whispers, pushing himself up and cupping Jimin’s cheek. “What we all have is a relationship. Regardless of whether we call each other boyfriends or not, we love each other, we take care of each other, and we help each other. Whatever way you look at it, we’re taken by somebody. I can go on a date with you one day and Taehyung the next, but I wouldn’t go out with a stranger, because that would feel wrong, that would feel like cheating. So, the way I see it, I’m in a relationship, and so are you.”  
  
Jimin reaches up to run his fingers through Yoongi’s hair, watching the strands fall through his fingers. “I guess that makes sense. I just never saw it that way. But you’re right. Having what we have with anyone else would feel like cheating. I wouldn’t be upset if you slept with Hoseok but if you came home from a night at the bar with some guy or girl you met, I’d be really hurt. I dunno, I probably don’t have a right to feel that way, but I would.”  
  
Yoongi leans down to plant a kiss on Jimin’s forehead. “Maybe we should sit down with everyone and talk about it sometime, see how everyone feels about it.”  
  
“I think that would be good,” Jimin whispers, scratching at Yoongi’s scalp. “But right now, let me just grab a wash cloth to clean us both up, okay?”  
  
Yoongi nods and tosses the comforter to the floor, watching as Jimin heads off towards the bathroom.   
  
Yoongi stands on wobbly legs as he heads over to his closet and grabs a fresh comforter, one not covered in cum and lube, and spreads it out on the bed.   
  
Jimin comes back in a moment later with a warm wash cloth and sneaks up behind Yoongi, wrapping his arms around the older and laughing when he yelps.   
  
Yoongi smacks him on the arm lightly as he finishes adjusting the comforter and turns around in his arms, looking at the younger.   
  
Jimin smiles as he takes a step back and begins wiping down Yoongi’s chest and stomach.   
  
Yoongi hums pleasantly at the warmth and closes his eyes. He lets Jimin wipe him down, cleaning up any traces of lube or cum left behind, and Yoongi finds his clothes on the floor. He throws his shirt and sweatpants back on and climbs into bed, watching as Jimin tosses the rag aside and gets dressed back into his own clothes.   
  
Jimin slides into the bed, wrapping his arms around Yoongi when the older lays on his chest with a pleasant sigh. “It feels so nice to cuddle with someone and actually feel loved and protected.”  
  
Jimin feels a little pang in his chest as he thinks back to Yoongi’s ex girlfriend, the one who abused and hit him and degraded him and tore him down for her own pleasure, and he feels his blood boil. Yoongi deserves so much better than that. He deserves so much better than a shitty ex girlfriend who never loved him and a shitty dad who hit him and left permanent scars behind. He always deserves better, and Jimin squeezes him tighter.   
  
“I mean, Tae and I cuddled a lot when we were younger but it was different then, you know? It was mostly platonic on my end, not so much on Taehyung’s, but I didn’t know that at the time. Didn’t know that until very recently, actually.” Yoongi nuzzles his face into Jimin’s neck, closing his eyes and sighing happily when he gets comfortable. His left hand is underneath Jimin’s shirt, tracing small patterns into the skin as he relaxes.   
  
“It’s different when it’s with someone you’re in love with instead of someone you just love. I get it. I feel the same way,” Jimin whispers, scratching at Yoongi’s nape. “I’m glad you had Taehyung growing up, though. I’ve known him for a long time, met him when he first moved here, actually. But I’d trust him with my life so I know he loved you and looked out for you. I know he’s good.”  
  
Yoongi gives a small smile and plants a kiss on Jimin’s neck.   
  
“Now that I think about it, he talked about you a lot, actually. He always mentioned this guy he was best friends with from Daegu, never called you Yoongi though, always Yoongs or Yoongles.”  
  
Yoongi laughed quietly into Jimin’s neck. “Yeah, he called me that a lot.”  
  
Jimin hums and runs his fingertips up and down Yoongi’s side. “He really missed you, never stopped talking about you. He wanted to go back, but he didn’t have money to. I’d stay up with him late at night and ask about you, because he’d always get so happy and go into detail about everything. Like the time you guys decided to spray paint the side of a building and had to run from the cops. He said that was one of the most fun days of his life. Said you kept flicking off the cop when they chased after you because you knew he couldn’t catch you, and that you guys went to a café down the road from Taehyung house and just laughed about it for hours.”  
  
Yoongi smiles fondly. He can feel a tear makes its way down his cheek and he wipes it away and sniffles quietly. “Yeah. That was a really fun day. I stayed at his house that night too, and we stayed up late and watched scary movies we weren’t suppose to and faked being sick the next day so we could stay home.”  
  
“He told me he stood up to your dad a few times. Took a few hits for you so you could get away or so he’d hurt you less. He loved you so much, still loves you so much. He always worried about what happened to you. He thought... he thought there might have been a chance that one day your dad went too far and killed you. He always checked the newspaper and online articles for any cases in Daegu that could have been you. He was always so happy when nothing showed up. We told him we would all put money together for him for a train ride there, but he said you had been gone for months before he left and that there was a good chance he’d come all the way back to find you still weren’t there. It killed him inside for a long time but when you came back... he was this happy and bubbly person again, someone I hadn’t seen from him in a long time.”  
  
Yoongi could feel more tears keep coming and coming as he tried to wipe them away fruitlessly. “I was always so mad at him when he took a hit from my dad. I was always so mad at him for endangering himself to help me. I disappeared because my mom admitted me into a mental hospital. They kept me for months and my dad never liked Taehyung, didn’t like that he stood up to him, so if Taehyung would have asked him about it, I know my dad wouldn’t have told him. My mom, either. Her and my dad got divorced around that time and she moved away, left me with him even though she knew how horrible he was to me. I never wanted Taehyung to worry about me. I was so sad he was gone but I was glad that he’d gotten away from my shitty life. I never wanted him to be apart of that.”  
  
Jimin shushed him quietly and cradled the back of his head, rocking the older gently. “It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. Everything worked out for the best. Your dad is gone, Taehyung is here with you again, and now you have five other people who love you just as much.”  
  
Yoongi let out a quiet sob and inhaled deeply, trying to calm his breathing. “My life was so bad without him. It was so hard dealing with everything without him.”  
  
“But you made it, didn’t you, baby? And now both of you are in love with each other, and that’s better than before, isn’t it?” Jimin kisses the top of Yoongi’s head, massaging his nape gently as he tries to calm the older down.   
  
Yoongi nods slowly as he holds onto Jimin’s waist tightly. “But w–what if... what if something happens and I leave again or he leaves again? What happens if something tears us apart again—“  
  
“Shh,” Jimin whispers, squeezing Yoongi’s nape tighter. “Nothing will tear you two apart again. You’re both grown ups now. Which means if you wanted, you and Tae could get an apartment together, you could get married or adopt kids together, you can do whatever you want, because no one can stop you anymore.”  
  
The sound of the front door opening sounds through the apartment and Jimin hopes that whoever it is can help him calm Yoongi down a little more.   
  
Yoongi sniffles quietly, completely oblivious to the person in his apartment from how loud he’s crying.   
  
“Want that with everyone, though,” Yoongi whimpers. “Wanna be happy with everyone.”  
  
“Oh, baby. You will be happy with everyone. We can all buy a big house or apartment and live together and get married and adopt kids together. Would you like that?” Jimin runs his fingers through the back of Yoongi’s hair soothingly, scratching at one point of his scalp that Jimin knows relaxes him.   
  
“Yes,” Yoongi croaks, squeezing Jimin’s hip.   
  
Jimin can see both Jungkook and Taehyung step into the room and stop in the door frame, heads cocked to the side in confusion. Jimin looks at Taehyung, trying his best to somehow say _you’re what he wants_ with just a look.   
  
Taehyung must understand to some extent because he furrows his eyebrows as he looks to Yoongi. “Baby? Everything okay?”  
  
Yoongi pops his head up from Jimin’s neck and starts crying harder. He reaches both arms out and makes grabby hands at Taehyung, whispering a soft, “Tae Tae.”  
  
The younger springs into action immediately, making his way towards Yoongi’s side and choosing to ignore the wounds on his arms and his bandaged hand in favor of making Yoongi feel better.   
  
Yoongi places his head on Taehyung’s thigh and tucks his face into the younger's belly, wrapping his arms around the younger's slim waist. “Missed you so much, so sorry I disappeared. I never— I never wanted you to worry and I never wanted to bring you into the thing with my dad and it was so hard when you left and I’m sorry I never—“  
  
“Baby, hey,” Taehyung whispers, looking down at Yoongi as he tucks a strand of hair behind the older's ear. “It’s okay. All of that was a long time ago. We’re fine now, we found each other again.”  
  
“But you always talked about me,” Yoongi whimpers. “You told everyone stories about us and you checked the papers to make sure my dad didn’t fucking kill me, and you—“  
  
“Yoongi,” Taehyung says, strong and firm. “Of course I talked about you. I love you and I didn’t know what happened and I was worried, but I knew you were smart. I knew you’d get away from him as soon as you could and that you’d be okay. I just, I had to make sure. I had to check the papers and articles to calm my own worries.”  
  
Jungkook had made his way to sit beside Jimin, giving him a look that said _what the fuck happened while we were gone?_  
  
Yoongi let out another whimper as he buried his face further into Taehyung’s stomach, gripping at the back of his shirt for dear life. “Never wanted to lose you. I don’t ever want to lose you again. I–I love you, Tae Tae. Please don’t go again.”  
  
Taehyung bites his bottom lip to keep it from trembling. “I love you, Yoongs. I promise I’m never leaving your side again, no matter what. Come here, why don’t you come sit on my lap and I’ll rub your back, baby?”  
  
Yoongi nods as he slowly sits up and straddles the younger, tucking his face into Taehyung’s neck and wrapping his legs around the younger's waist. Yoongi wraps his arms around Taehyung’s neck as he tries to calm himself down.   
  
Taehyung holds him tightly, rubbing up and down his back and kneading at a few knots he can feel. Taehyung rocks back and forth the slightest bit, kissing Yoongi’s shoulder.   
  
“Can you— tell me when you first knew you loved me,” Yoongi whispers, pecking softly at the tan skin of Taehyung’s neck.   
  
“A lot of things made me realize that my feelings for you weren’t just platonic anymore, but the thing that made me realize that I was really in love with you was the day you came to me with a huge smile on your face and a little box. You were so excited, you said you got Suran a gift and you wanted to see if I thought she’d like it. You opened it and it was this beautiful golden ring coated in swarovski crystals that had the words _I love you_ engraved inside. You said you wanted to give it to her as a promise ring, to tell her you loved her for the first time and to show her that you wanted to be with her for a long, long time. You were so excited but I felt so shattered and broken and I couldn’t understand why I was upset when you were clearly so happy. I told you it was beautiful and that she’d love it, and you went off on your date with her, and I sat there and cried for awhile. You came back a few hours later, obviously upset and distraught but the first thing you said was _‘have you been crying, Tae? Your eyes are all red,’_ as if seeing me hurting was more upsetting than your own pain. I told you it was just allergies, and you told me about how you gave the ring to her and told her you loved her, told her it was a promise that you’d both be together for awhile, but she threw the ring back at you and said, _‘if you really loved me, you would have bought something more expensive than this cheap ass ring’_. I’d never been so angry and upset and then it clicked. I was upset because you were taken and in love with someone else who was absolutely horrible to you, and as I sat there and held you while you cried, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much better you deserved, how much better I could treat you and make you happy. And that’s when I knew I was in love with you.”  
  
Yoongi stiffened in Taehyung’s hold, his bottom lip trembling. “But— But you let me stay there that night and talk about her for hours. You let me complain and cry over her and you held me and comforted me the entire time.”  
  
Taehyung shrugged softly and slid his hands underneath Yoongi’s shirt, rubbing up and down his back. “You were upset but you still loved her and you were still my best friend. Regardless of how I felt, you needed comforted and I had no right to be upset over someone that wasn’t mine.”  
  
“Tae,” Yoongi cries, clutching onto the younger's back. “I’m so sorry, Tae. I didn’t know, I’m sorry—“  
  
“I made sure you didn’t know, Yoongi. I may not have been able to have you romantically, but having you as a best friend was better than not having you at all.” Taehyung trails his nails up and down Yoongi’s back, shushing the older when he starts to cry again. “Come here, look at me,” Taehyung whispers, waiting for Yoongi to pull off of his neck and look at him. Taehyung cups his cheeks and leans forward, kissing Yoongi soft and slow.   
  
Yoongi whimpers at the contact as his body slowly begins to relax, the tension easing away and his cries starting to calm down. He tilts his head to the side a little, deepening the kiss a little more. He reaches up to cup Taehyung’s jaw in his hands and nips at the younger's bottom lip gently.   
  
Taehyung licks at the seam of Yoongi’s lips, easing his tongue inside to play with Yoongi’s for a moment before pulling back, smiling when Yoongi pouts a little. He places his lips beside Yoongi’s ear and whispers quiet enough for only the both of them to hear. “Let’s lay down, baby. Kook and Jimin are really worried about you.”  
  
“Kook?” Yoongi asks, pulling away a little to look around until he spots Jungkook sitting beside Jimin.   
  
The brunette smiles at him gently. “Hey, baby.”  
  
“Kook,” Yoongi whispers again, easing his way off Taehyung’s lap before crawling into Jungkook’s, wrapping himself around the younger tightly.   
  
Jungkook laughs quietly and wraps his arms around Yoongi, planting soft kisses all over his face. “You okay now, baby?”  
  
Yoongi hums pleasantly as Jungkook kisses over his face. “I will be,” Yoongi whispers. “Wanna take a nap with everyone and I wanna cuddle. I want to wake up to you, and Jimin, and Taehyung.”  
  
“Then come on, baby, let’s get you tucked in.” Jungkook scoops Yoongi up, almost as if he weighs nothing, and sets him down between Jimin and Taehyung, tucking the older in and pecking him on the lips softly. “Jimin and Taehyung will smother you in love and cuddles, and I’ll be just right behind Jimin, okay?”  
  
Yoongi whines but nods reluctantly. He let's Taehyung pull him face to face and let’s Jimin press his chest to Yoongi’s back as he wraps his arms around the older. Jungkook molds himself to Jimin’s back and holds on tight, and Yoongi rests his head on Taehyung’s chest with the younger's arms wrapped around his torso right above Jimin’s.   
  
Yoongi sighs contently, his eyes falling shut as the warmth of the comforter and everyone’s body heat spreads over him. He can feel Taehyung peck his lips and he lets out a soft hum. “Get some rest, and we’ll all be right here when you wake up, we promise,” Taehyung whispers.   
  
“Okay,” Yoongi says softly, snuggling himself in closer to Taehyung's side. “I love you. I love Jimin and Jungkook, too.”  
  
All at once, a chorus of “we love you too” sounds through the dark room, and Yoongi smiles brightly to himself. He falls asleep that night easier than he has in a long time.   
  



End file.
